Secret Prayer

First thing the next day, after mutually enjoying each other's bodies for a bit, Gage used Jarek's laptop to start searching for help for LGBTQIA youth in the area. The best option he found in the area was a group called the Silas Foundation, which had been set up to help anyone in the LGBTQ+ community that needed help getting out of bad situations. They seemed to work a ton with youth, but also helped anyone that needed the help no matter the age.

He set up a meeting with them the next day so they could talk about what kind of help he needed and what they might be able to do for him. It didn't take long for his family and the mission president to start contacting Gage once they knew he had left. Tate wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret for long. Missionaries weren't supposed to go around alone. Part of it was to keep missionaries in line but the other side was for safety. Missions could get dangerous depending on where you were located. Even in well populated and developed countries like the US, missionaries were shot and killed sometimes.

Gage only answered the calls from the Mission President, to tell him he was done with the church and his mission; and his mother, who begged him to rethink this or come home. He could hear his dad screaming in the background that if he didn't come home, then he was shutting off his phone line. By the time his phone line shut down later that afternoon, Gage had walked down to the bank to take out everything from his bank account so his parents couldn't get it and bought a cheap plan from a different company, which luckily let him keep his same number.

When Jarek got back from classes, he found Gage laying down on the couch with his arm over his eyes. His body language spoke to just how stressed and defeated he felt. Jarek set his things down and sat down near Gage's feet, pulling his shoes off and rubbing them gently but firmly. "Want to tell me about it?" he asked.

"Dad turned off my phone, so I went and paid for a cheap plan so I could still contact people," Gage explained. "I'm getting non-stop messages from my family begging me to reconsider my choices, repent what I'm doing. My sister Kayla told me I'm disgusting and making mom cry all day and night..."

"Wow, that's got to be difficult to swallow all at once. How do you feel about it?" Jarek asked quietly, continuing the foot rub.

Gage finally moved his arm away from his eyes and looked at Jarek. "Kayla is kind of always terrible, but I'm feeling a lot of guilt about mom. She sounded devastated on the phone, and dad was livid. I heard him screaming and slamming things. Addison has been the only level headed one so far, and she told me that she just wanted me safe and happy."

Jarek looked concerned, "Do you think your family is safe around him?" he asked delicately.

"Craig wasn't," Gage replied with a severe look darkening his features. "Addison will likely be fine, and Kayla is always on dad's side. I don't know about mom though. I think mom sometimes just goes with the flow. She enables him, you know? She was the parent that believed me when I told them the bishop was...he was doing things he shouldn't have done to me. Dad said I was lying for attention. And now Mr. Hartman wants to come over with the Bishop of the nearby church to talk to me about my decisions."

"I won't tell you they're unwelcome here, but I will ask that I be present and I will warn you that I will physically eject them before I let them do lasting damage to you," Jarek said with the kind of quiet determination that made it clear that he would brook no nonsense from anyone when it came to Gage's safety.

"They'll keep hounding me until I give in, but I accept your conditions. They don't have to like it, but they have to accept it," Gage said. "And I meet with a representative of the Silas Foundation tomorrow to get help finding a job, building up a wardrobe, getting health insurance and IDs, and the like."

"Sounds like you've worked everything out!" Jarek praised. "I'm proud of you, Gage!"

Gage blushed a bit at the praise. "I really just talked to people, mostly. In some cases, heatedly."

"Yes," Jarek agreed, "you talked to people. You didn't sit here and mope. You didn't panic and run back to the church. You didn't pore over your holy books trying to justify your experiences through the lens of the corrupt theocracy you came from."

"I did the poring over the holy books thing in the weeks leading up to all of this," Gage admitted. "Nothing really fits what Craig and I have been going through, and the general consensus of the church and Apostles is to just abstain."

"How do you feel about that?" Jarek asked, leaving the question open-ended.

Gage looked at the ceiling for a moment, considering the question before he shook his head. "I just don't understand how love could be a sin. And if it's not, then that means the Apostles are wrong in what they have told us before. The Apostles aren't supposed to be wrong, ever. The more I look through the history, though, the more I see where later Apostles have 'fixed' things older ones did, like refusing to give blacks the priesthood until it was making it hard to get people of color to join the church. It seems hypocritical. So, if it's not a sin, and if the apostles are just people who let their biases get in the way of what they are supposed to be doing for the church, then it's hard to view the church as true, let alone the true church."

"That's the danger when you deal in absolutes," Jarek said, nodding along.

"Honestly? I can't imagine a world where God can exist and he does nothing to try and stop someone like Craig from killing himself," Gage explained, tears coming to his eyes that he didn't try to hide. It felt like his heart was having a hole carved out of it where Craig used to be. "I know he's not supposed to get involved in most human things, supposedly, but...my brother is dead for no reason other than loving someone, and how could a God exist and let him suffer like that? I'm not so sure I even believe he does."

Jarek grimaced slightly at Gage's words. "I don't think Craig's sexuality is what killed him so much as the ignorance, intolerance, and condemnation from the people he loved," Jarek said carefully, running his hand along Gage's leg to help sooth him, as well as reminding him he was there for him.

Gage nodded his understanding, staring at the ceiling. "And if it wasn't suicide, it could have been murder. We had a brother at my church murdered for it. It was the hot gossip for a while when I was sixteen."

"I'm surprised he wasn't excommunicated posthumously," Jarek muttered.

Gage laughed at that, not hiding the bitterness in it as tears slipped down his face. "Oh no, they would never do that. The LDS church is known for baptizing the dead in order to let them get into heaven. It makes them a permanent member of the church. They've done it to the Jews from the holocaust, saints, Gandhi, Buddah, and more. His family did a blessing for him right after the murder, hoping it would absolve him of his sins so they could see him again as he had let his membership slip a little."

Jarek shook his head. "That's definitely different from the Catholic church's practices. They like to withhold the promise of heaven from families of LGBTQ+ people. Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse!"

"I'm not sure either," Gage admitted before he sat up and curled into Jarek's side for comfort, reveling in the feeling of Jarek putting his arms around him and holding him close. "Both are messed up ways of dealing with it."

The next day, a woman named Kennedy Ward showed up at Jarek's house in the afternoon. She was a short woman, only about five foot two, and was dressed and styled in a much more masculine way, with jeans and a t-shirt on with a flannel shirt over that. Her hair was dark brown and cut short and spiky. She smiled at the two of them and asked if she could come into the residence. Jarek laughingly asked to see her teeth before inviting her inside, which gained him a grin from her before she swore she wasn't a vampire.

"My name is Kennedy, and I'm from the Silas Foundation," Kennedy explained as they sat down in the living room. "Your situation is far more unique than we've handled before. I mean, obviously, we have had people fleeing from religious households, but nothing like an LDS missionary leaving in the middle of his mission. My boss is planning to fly in to help with this in case it becomes a big one, but I can help with some of our immediate issues now."

She went through a bunch of questions, asking Gage about his history, age, if he had done any schooling, if he wanted to go to school, what his aspirations and dreams were, and more. She made it clear that they had ways to help him get through school if he wanted to, such as helping him prove his parents weren't supporting him, getting him grants and scholarships, and the like.

Gage said he was open to that, but he really wanted to work with his hands if he could. He knew how to hunt and break down animals, he knew how to woodwork and build furniture and fences, and he had worked on cars before as well. Becoming a furniture designer had been his ultimate goal, and Kennedy said she would look into if they had any contacts that could help him get an apprenticeship for that.

"Do you have your important documents with you?" Kennedy asked him. "We'll need those for things like medicaid, Illinois drivers license, etc."

Gage shook his head. "I only have my insurance card and ID in case of emergencies. I brought the rest with me, but the Mission President has them. He has my birth certificate, social security card, and my passport."

"Those are all government documents, and thus belong to the government," Kennedy pointed out. "And in some cases, you. He can't keep them from you. We'll get you legal representation to help you get that kind of stuff back."

By the time they were done, Kennedy had Gage set up for a counseling appointment with a therapist and an appointment with a psychiatrist to see if he needed any sort of help with medication for depression, his clothing sizes so she could bring some for him, and planned on sending over a lawyer for when he met with the Mission President and Bishop.

Kennedy came back the next day with a few bags of folded clothes and two pairs of shoes in Gage's size based on what he said he would like to wear if it was his decision. It included pairs of jeans, shorts, soft t-shirts in solid colors, some t-shirts that had band logos and animal designs on them, a few button down shirts that included a few plaid patterns, work boots, and sneakers. There were also new packages of boxer briefs in black and dark colors, and socks in both white and black, and plenty of pajama pants and oversized shirts for bed. It was actually more clothes than Gage had been expecting.

She also told him that he was in luck because the leader of the Silas Foundation knew a few people in the area who made custom furniture thanks to the business he ran with friends, Table of Five. Gage was set up with a time in three days to meet with a man who owned a furniture store in Chicago named Beachwood Creations.

She handed a bag to Gage with woodworking tools and a few pieces of wood for him to work on carving to show his skill level to Xavier Wellington III, who owned the store. It was a beautiful set of woodworking tools, and they looked like they had been taken care of over time. Gage ran his hands along the handles of them, wondering how many people had used it before him.

Jarek remained supportive without being obtrusive through all of this, busying himself with class, studying, and generally tidying up around the house. He gave positive comments about the new wardrobe and was happy to fawn over the new tools with Gage, but he felt like this was Gage's time. He didn't want to take away from his self-discovery.

Gage spent the rest of the next two days sitting out on the patio in the backyard carving the wood. There were a few smaller pieces, which he carved into small animals in various poses, and two large pieces of wood that he carefully carved into fox bookstands. He chose foxes because it made him think of Jarek. He even walked over to a hardware store to get a few sanding squares and a dark cherry wood stain for the foxes. They turned out beautifully and Gage brought all of them inside once they had dried and put them on the table for Jarek to see when he got back from classes.

Gage looked nervous when Jarek came into the house and put his backpack down. "I think they're all done and ready for tomorrow. What do you think?"

The two foxes were set in different poses, with one playfully batting at a butterfly while the other was sitting regally in place and looking up with a butterfly on its nose. The other small carvings were of an otter that was standing on its hind legs looking around, a cat sniffing at a rose, a penguin sitting on an egg, and finally a cartoon-like statue of a cow. Gage had used a lighter mahogany stain for the smaller animals with little touches of a darker brown stain to highlight details.

Jarek looked them over appraisingly, his face serious as he flipped his imaginary scarf over his shoulder and peered down his nose through his nonexistent spectacles. "Young man, what do you think the artist was trying to say with the theme of these pieces? Ob-viously they were intended to represent things individually, but what can they tell us about the process?"

Gage laughed at Jarek's impersonation of an art critic. "I think the theme is all about playfulness, which maybe the artist has never been allowed to do before."

"They all look amazing!" Jarek said, kissing Gage on the cheek and taking a photo or several with his phone.

Gage beamed at that, smiling brightly and blushing while he accepted the kiss from Jarek. The next day, Gage was up before Jarek was, getting dressed and packing up the wooden carvings to head over to the furniture store. He left early so he would have the ability to walk there without hurrying himself or getting too sweaty.

Xavier was waiting for him and showed Gage to the back of the store, into what looked like a warehouse set up to make the furniture. He instructed Gage to set out the carvings on the work table and explain how he used his tools to make them. Gage didn't find it difficult to explain to the man how he had gone about doing the carvings, and he spoke passionately as he went. Xavier looked them over closely, checking every single detail with critical eyes. He never said anything out loud, which was nerve wracking to Gage. Finally, Xavier set down the last one he was looking at and gave a nod of his head.

"What types of materials have you worked with before?" Xavier asked.

"I've worked with multiple types of wood, concrete, granite, and fabrics such as leather and suede," Gage replied.

"Have you worked with resin before?" Xavier asked him.

"No, but I've wanted to," Gage commented.

With a nod of his head, Xavier showed Gage to some of the current works in progress, explaining what he was trying to do with them. He gave directions and set Gage to work on finishing certain aspects of each piece, wanting to see how he could handle the fast paced work. He left Gage in the back to do that while he went back to the front of the store to work with customers. A few hours later, Xavier came into the back to check on how Gage was doing.

Gage had finished everything that Xavier had asked him to do, at a good pace and with care. Xavier checked over every single element to make sure it was done well before he gave another nod.

"The store opens every day at nine AM, and we generally close around five PM, though people working in the back sometimes get here as early as six and sometimes leave closer to eight depending on the work that day. You'd be working in the back mostly, making the furniture. I'll help you in areas you don't know as well. I pay my workers a living wage here in Chicago, and if you agree to be full time, it comes with benefits. Health insurance, life insurance, dental and vision. What do you think?"

"Is that a job offer?" Gage asked to be sure.

Xavier grinned at him. "Yes, it is. Do you want it?"

"Yes, I definitely do, sir," Gage replied, unable to hide the smile.

He promised to bring Xavier his paperwork once he got them back from the Mission President and they would start his employment. Gage practically skipped back to the house, he was so happy. Jarek was gone when he got back, so he showered and then worked on making a simple dinner of chicken and rice for when Jarek got home before he had to go to work.

"Guess who is no longer freeloading off of you?" Gage asked when Jarek came into the house.

"Wait, someone was freeloading off of me? I thought you were paying me in sexual favors..." Jarek said with a sleepy grin as he sipped his coffee and poured a cup for Gage.

Gage smirked at him. "That's true, but now I'll be able to pay for my own bills, like my phone and such. He said I have to get my papers back from Mr. Hartman though, or else we can't set up my employment. Luckily, we're supposed to meet with him and the bishop tomorrow. Kennedy said my lawyer already sent a letter informing him that he had to give me all of my papers back."

Jarek winced in sympathy. "Be ready for them to have 'forgotten' or 'lost them'," he said regretfully. "They'll do whatever they can to keep control over you for as long as they can. If you can convince them to give you just one document back, take it. You can always get the rest by yourself after that, though that's by far the hardest way for things to pan out."

"I know," Gage said as he sat down. "I'm hopeful but also expecting the worst. If I can just get my birth certificate, then the social security card is a simple replacement. The passport I can report stolen. The birth certificate will take the longest though. They said they would be here by two PM by the way."

"What time is it?" Jarek asked, squinting myopically at the microwave clock.

Gage looked at his watch. "Six PM right now. So we have less than twenty-four hours. I asked them to come in the afternoon since you work tonight."

Jarek smiled and patted his cheek. "You're a good boy. Want to hit the gym with me? You don't have to pay for anything. You'll be my guest," he offered.

Gage melted a little at the first sentence, looking content. He brightened at the offer too. "I'd love to. I haven't been in one in a while. I love any way I can get all sweaty with you."

"Go get ready, while I gather myself mentally," Jarek said, smiling to himself while he hid it with a sip of his coffee.

Gage agreed and then went into the bedroom to get dressed for the gym. The clothes were ones he had bought while out in Chicago to be able to do his physical therapy in. Sitting on top of his dresser was a smallish blue box with a bow on it and a hand-calligraphed card with his name on it. Gage gingerly picked up the box and card, turning it over in his hands before he sat down on the bed and opened the card first.

"May this gift bring music to your life like the music you bring to my soul," it said in beautiful script.

Gage smiled at that and put the card to the side so he could open the present. Inside he found, nestled within a white tissue paper bed, a chunky metal and glass mp3 player and wireless bluetooth headphones. He looked toward the door as Jarek leaned against the doorjamb. "I prefer to know my music player is there, so I got you the chunky one in case you decided you didn't like it. It's got a 256 gig micro-SD card and 32 gigs of onboard storage. It does video and audio playback and audio recording, in case you discover that you've got a beautiful singing voice. It'll playback for up to 70 hours, too," Jarek said, all in a rush as if trying to sell him on the gift.