My last master only wanted to humiliate me, so I let him. But it wasn't what I wanted, what I needed. He wanted me to be an object, an empty one. Why didn't people try to fill you up any more, why were they all queuing up to pour you out?
But he was different. I wore my favourite dress, not one he picked out, he just asked me to wear something that would make me feel good. It was dark blue. "Like your eyes," he said. I shivered. My cock pressed against my pants and I had to distract myself.
He picked me up and we went to dinner. His eyes brushed over me, but he was careful for them not to linger. He as delicate like that. Besides, he knew that I had been used. He had been very clear he didn't want to use me.
I 'd told him my experiences, blurted it all out over a cocktail. All we'd done was hold hands, had that one mind blowing kiss. I'd had to tell him who I was, where I was coming from, where I wanted to go. I was tired of being someone's slut. A disrespected whore. Cum swiped from the sole of a shoe. I could feel myself vanishing. Consumed by the appetites of men who would fuck me until bored. Devour me until sated. Use me until I was empty.
He had stroked my hand, then lifted my chin, looked in my eyes. "You shouldn't be afraid. It isn't right. You don't need to be, not now."
Overwhelming words. He looked into my eyes. His own were dark, his face slim, chiselled, so earnest. "You want to be valued," he said, "we all do."
The second kiss came then. His lips lingering on mine, tongue rubbing gently over the bottom lip, probing ever so softly. Enough for me to need more.
I loved dressing up. I guess I'd become pretty convincing over the years, but it wasn't until he kissed me again, and I felt the press of him, the need stirring, that I truly felt like a woman. He let me go, smiling, realising we had both been overtaken by the moment.
He'd asked me out for dinner, and here we were. Him in his black suit, me in my shiny dress. We went hand in hand to our table. When had our hands joined? I wasn't even sure, it had just been natural. "You look pretty," he said. "And happy."
The fact he noticed, the fact he cared, and the fact it was true, made it hard to react. I just smiled, mumbled a thanks. But he smiled back. He understood me, or so I dared hope. Was it too much to ask for?
I want to be a princess, if only for a day. Not a slave. Not something gaudy. I don't want to be forced to my knees. I want to float down.
I found myself trying to project these thoughts, these wishes. Foolish. But then I'd always been foolish, where had it got me?
We finished the meal, the wine buzzing in my stomach, a comfortable silence growing between us. So many little looks, though. He invited me back to his apartment. There was no sense of expectation, no pressure. He just wanted to be with me. To continue looking at me with the gentle awe I had begun to detect.
I accepted, knowing already I wanted to give him more than he would probably ask for. I was ready.