A quick note before we start. This story is true the sense that everything really happened and fiction in the sense that not everything happened the way or in the order I tell it. It is neither a sappy love story nor a straight up pornography. If anything I'd say it's a story about growing up.
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My senior year of high school I was a skinny, shy, yet brash, inquisitive and lazy kid who didn't know what he wanted out of life. Basically, I was normal. I'd had a couple girlfriends, but the last one had broken up with me half way through the school year, leaving me bitter and insecure. Fortunately I'd also just met Chris, who was just about the coolest guy I ever knew.
He was basically everything I wanted to be. He was a year older, more experienced, more confident, better athlete, better with people. He had a kind of easy charm that you'd believe he could do just about anything he wanted to and that it was no big deal to him. We met one weekend playing soccer in the park just before I graduated. He was 19 and already in college, but he had come back for the weekend to visit his family. I was impressed by his game and we struck up a conversation that ended up lasting past graduation and into the summer.
I liked his curiosity and his calmness. Every other guy I knew was trying to prove how awesome he was and talked about girls nonstop. Chris seemed not to have a care in the world and he didn't judge himself against anyone. At 6' he was an inch taller than me and built like a dancer, lean and muscular with light brown hair and big hazel eyes and a hunk without seeming to notice. When we were together and I tried to chat up a girl, she was almost always more interested in Chris.
By contrast, I weighed about 140 pound and had long, messy, dirty blond hair. Most people had me pegged as a stoner, which was ironic since I was about the only one I knew who didn't smoke weed. I had an athlete's body and a six pack, if anyone cared to noticed, but would have given anything to bulk up (a friend once told me we spend most of our lives wishing we could have back the body we hated as a teen. Isn't that the truth). So me and Chris spent a fair amount of time in the gym, working out together.
Chris' brother was old enough to buy us beer and so we spent many nights drunkenly talking about how we were going to change the world. We were just friends and nothing had happened to suggest that was going to change. I knew Chris had been with girls before, but we didn't really talk about it. If he had talked about sleeping with boys it probably would have blow my mind. I wasn't homophobic or anything, I just didn't know any gays and didn't know what to think about them. For me then, being gay meant anal sex and the thought of fucking some guys asshole did nothing for me. A lot of my views were about to change very fast.
What happened was, his parents were craftspeople who sold their work at shows, so they were out of town a lot in the summer. One night when they were on the road we were hanging out with his brother Jonah. He'd brought home a bottle of vodka and we all started doing shots. He teased me about my weight so of course I immediately said I could drink him under the table. An hour later the bottle was empty leaving three drunk kids, but no clear winner. Jonah, lurched off to his room to play video games leaving me and Chris to keep talking.
Although I'd felt fine when Jonah had left, over the next hour the alcohol started kicking in, the room started spinning and I started to feel like I was going to hurl. Chris saw I wasn't feeling good and he helped me to stumble to his room.
