Sense and Sensuality

I felt right about it I really did. It had taken a long time and a lot of self examining to admit that indeed I had homosexual tendencies. But it took my now, live -in partner Bob, to make me feel comfortable about bonding with another male.

It was almost as though he could read my mind better than I could, but he was trained in social studies which I guess, helped. He is indeed a lovely guy and I am so glad I met him at the bowling club.

And what an introduction that was. He'd been watching me bowling for a little while I'd noticed and eventually, I guess noticing that I had noticed him staring, he came over to me and apologised. I accepted his apology gladly because straight away I was attracted to him big time.

When he whispered he loved the way I moved ass when I bowled I felt somewhat embarrassed. This was the first time I had been chatted up by a guy in such a way that said he fancied me.

I thought about it. I wanted not to push him away. I wanted to encourage him, yes that was it. I opted to bypass me inhibitions, admit I liked the guy and even that I wouldn't mind being intimate with him.

I decided to smile at him and offer an encouraging word saying that I like to please.

"What's you name? he asked.

I told him it was Alex and he told me his; "just plain Bob, and you would please me more if you let me take you out for dinner later and then to my place. How's that, Alex?"

He was giving me that audacious smile again which I found hard to resist. He was lovely and my heart fluttered one to the dozen. He looked me up and down and looked for all the world he wanted to ravish me there and then.

All at once I knew I was about to come out in the most delightful way, with Bob to guide me and I was thinking, how lucky I am.

Leaving the bowls club I went home and gave myself a real good soaking in the tub. I usually shower but I wanted to be spotlessly clean to give Bob the best impression . He looked a neat clean guy and I didn't want to put him off me by smelling bad.

Going through my mind were all sorts of wonderful fantasies and imaginings of how it would be with Bob.

How would we first touch each other, who would make the first move and so on.? The ice would need to be broken to lure us into a brand new relationship and for me, a first timer. I'd had it up to here with seedy casuals.

I had the impression that Bob was well versed in that, he seemed to have all the confidence in the world when he approached me and I definitely felt I was taking the feminine roll which suited me perfectly.

If the truth be known I had experimented dressing in girls clothes and liked what I saw in the mirror, but what confused me is I was never interested in girls real time. But playing with myself, using various items to experiment with I had a lot of fun gradually working a cucumber into myself given lots of lubrication. It was difficult at first but I had the inclination to do it, just to see how it felt. I soon found I was getting a good erection and knew that accepting something going inside me like that probably meant that I was inclined to take the female stance. I can't believe I did all those things and laugh about the cucumber.

All that led to browsing the internet and finding various anal items to thrill me; which I sent for and had a wonderful time buggering myself in front of a full length mirror, placed on it's side so I could get a perfect viewing of what I thought was a scrumptious ass.

I remember how thrilling it was the first time I pushed an anal vibrator inside. I just closed my eyes and enjoyed the thrill of its deep slow rime massage and briskly wanked myself into a wonderful climax .

I knew then I was definitely gay and yearned to find a similar partner with whom I could safely indulge.

In desperation I had thought about hanging around public toilets and the like but that seemed vile to me and I was worried about contamination with someone unclean .

So I opted to buy the latest Japanese anal dildo which for all the world looked like a real time erect penis, the appearance matched the skin tone right up to the blue vein running down the middle and a beautifully arranged foreskin to stretch back. Plastic or not it gave the feel of something live and, putting it first into my mouth it is wonderful what imagination can do.

It was also attached to a tube like structure representing a pair of male balls. When doing oral sex one just had to squeeze the balls and out would squirt whatever fluid you'd full it with. That was nice and I spent ages simply sucking and fantasising that this was the real thing and it was good to use inside too, simply pressing a button would make it grow inside to give one an ultimate deep thrilling sensation.

But of course as good as it was, as much as I enjoyed playtime with it, at the end of the day it wasn't real and I started to yearn for the real thing. And that is when Bob came into the picture.

The other problem about using 'toys' means that there is no emotion there and everything one does to enhance the sexual mode is predicable, unlike when you are sharing a sexual experience with a real life partner. But I guess sex toys and the like serve a purpose to dull the urgency for sex

All I crave for now is my first emotional and physical sexual experience with Bob who is a real turn on. Whether it is the way he talks or something else I am not yet quite sure, but I guess I will soon find out. Roll on this evening.

Evening comes and I meet Bob at the trains station. He tells me to join him in his super Audi car and immediately praises me for my very impressive appearance, saying I look a million dollars.

Then, just before he turned on the ignition key he added; "can't wait to strip you' and stroked my thigh.

Just that touch made me feel I belonged to the guy already, even though we had not yet fucked or anything like that.

I knew that was imminent and just a question of time.

I wanted it to be so right for both of us. Quite frankly I could have done without the dinner he insisted I share with him, but I needed to be patient . And anyway I guess dining together would be the best way to break the ice and get to know each other properly.

I was thinking the calm before the storm. I don't know why but the calm was sharing dinner with him and having mutual conversation. And the storm would follow later when we got back to his place.

My heart pumped twice normal as he guided me into this flash restaurant and invited me to have whatever I wanted from the menu.

We both went for Italian. Bob said already we had something in common, our choice from the menu.

Soft music quietly played and our table was in a private area where we could talk freely without the fear of being overheard. It was just as well because we were both about to divulge in some very earthy secrets about our past.

I told him all about my teenage curiosities and what I did in the privacy of my bedroom and again, when he confessed to a few things too we discovered that we had a lot more in common as well as our choice for food.

I felt so comfortable with Bob from the start. He said he liked me very much but wanted an ongoing relationship, not just a quick 'flash in the pan' he said and I laughed.

"Let's just give each other time to chill, get to know each other and take it from there. I will not take umbrage if you decide not to carry on. I mean that goes both ways, but I do feel something for you already so in my reckoning that seems most unlikely Alex."

We finished our meal and already I felt I had known him for ages. He wanted to make certain I was not for just a casual . He said he had had so many bad experiences with guys who said they wanted a commitment but then discovered, because all they wanted was sex as soon as we they were alone together - whether in a car, in a public toilet or hidden in the bushes.

"They say they are for real but I have discovered that one can tell from the body language and the look in the eyes that all they want is s quickie and, because it is done just to relieve their lust ,it usually hurts without hardly any preparation or foreplay and I am left with a very sore passage for days after. That is when I realised I was not destined to play the female role. That okay with you Alex?."

"Perfect" I replied. I consoled him by telling him that is exactly what happened to me. I met this guy on the internet and we exchanged pictures. I guess when he kept asking for more intimate pictures I could have guessed that he wanted just sex and quick gratification but I was innocent then. We met and he took me to his car which had blackened rear windows. He literally raped me after a quick feel and some oral, he did it twice, once from the front and the second bare backed across the back seat which actually made me bleed. All he could say was I was good fuck -he'd had his satisfaction and didn't I know it - shooting his sticky cum all over my rear. Then he just gave me a tissue and said he had to be on his way. It was that bad I could hardly walk and all he did was to laugh calling me bandy legs.

"It was horrible Bob it really was, if it was had been shared emotionally it would be different, and I guess it has made me scared in trying to find a real relationship."

"Poor Alex, at least I can relate to you, both of us having similar experiences. With us it is going to be perfect, you will see, Do you want to come home to my place now Alex?"

"I would like that Bob. I would like that very much.". Already I was warmed to him and all my bad memories dissolved. Bob had such a calm and wonderful disposition and driving home with him, sitting next to him in the passenger seat I placed my head on his shoulder and felt completely attached..

Home and in the comfort of his lovely flat he asked whether I would like the TV or just some music, adding that he liked the classics if that was okay.

Yet another thing we had in common, This seemed too good to be true.

He offered me some sherry which, yes we both liked and said that would help break the ice. I joked saying I don't like it with ice and he laughed and came right back at me: "What do you like it with then?" and the look in his eyes said it all. But he had a sense of humour which meant a lot and talking about our likes and disliked any inhibitions were quickly dispensed.

"For me Alex; I simply love to build a relationship we both know we want -simply removing all our clothes and standing close to each other. Not touching but just feeling the heat and excitement building in our bodies. If it is to be something more we will soon know it and then will be the time for body and mind exploration. Would you go with that Alex"

He smiled so warmly I felt how could I resist and answered his question by way of first removing my shirt and then everything else after, the last item being my boxer shorts.

Bob did likewise. .We then just stood there facing each other with mutually admiring looks and from that moment I just knew he was for me, he was divine, slender yet well built with strong muscles and perfect thighs.

Without a word he prompted me to swing around, he wished to see ( his words) if I looked as good at the back as at the front and when I did, when I did a couple of twirls and faced him again, his face was calm yet flushed and he announced that I was simply perfect - which built my confidence dramatically

"Now we just stand awhile in silence and feel our bodies respond" he added, and we did.

It was wonderful and I was on a completely new learning curve in as much as it felt really sexy, being with Bob like that. Just looking deep into each others eyes, then closing simultaneously and feeling the heat of our bodies, so close yet not touching .

Then he asked if he would like for us to kiss. I had never done that with a guy before and quite frankly never imagined I could ever do that, yet with Bob I wanted that. When I felt his lips so softly touch mine it was easy to close my eyes and feel the tenderness of his lips begin to gently mould mine.

The kiss lasted a long time and by the time it was finished we were both very much on heat.

Again. Looking down he smiled and complimented me on my stance, as he put it - and I did the same.

It was almost like he read my mind because, moving my hand downwards he nodded his head to whisper: "no, not yet. But we can touch each other elsewhere and discover the areas we both most like to be spoilt and touched." All this was equally endearing as it was sexual. Bob was teaching me some eastern fundamentals in the art of foreplay

"This is so very nice, so very different. It is a different ball game to anything I have done before Bob." And I meant it.

"Not too hasty now, the ball game comes later" he grinned. (That sense of humour again)

I laughed with him until his finger tips touched my lower spine and then I stopped because of the wonderful so soothing sensuality.

I felt a warmth never experienced before of another touching me. It was sort of like being out there in the severe cold, coming home and jumping under the duvet with a warm hot water bottle. I told Bob how I felt as his finger tips - instead of lightly scratching , changed to slow evocative circular motions and he so sweetly replied "later you will have your very own 'water bottle' to warm you completely inside and out.

He continued to spoil me with those slow caresses and I wanted him to touch me there, because I was so very ready. "All in good time, Alex."

I discovered he loved me to tease his nipples, slightly pinching them too.

It seemed almost he was teasing me but it was all part of the learning phase and so the constant touching, the stroking of everywhere except the most intimate parts, continued and I felt like it was a dream and I was floating aimlessly into space - my body feeling so warm and wanting and very, very loving of this new guy in my life .

He helped me to simultaneously caress him like he did me and all the time, the way he responded to different touches, the more I discovered about the way he liked to be touched and where.

It was all in the touch, the sounds and body responses. I discovered the most sensual touch was when he smoothed his fingers in the area each side of my scrotum and then down between my ass cheeks. That is when I really craved for his full touch everywhere.

"Now Alex, let us just lay on my bed shall we?, let us learn just to lay there facing each other but not touching save those growing pulsations which seem to have a mind of their own, brought on by the sheer love and ecstasy of what we are about.

And of course the lust to be complete with each other which is the ultimate reward. Something that will; be so much the better because of what we do now.

"For I feel you are touching me, without touching me; simply by the growth and uprising of what we are soon to gratify. The touch of your erection meeting mine. Feel it Alex, do you feel the utter magic as our beings, our cocks touch head. It seems they have a mind of their own and we are so concentrated in the wonderful sensations we are receiving of each other.

"Feel them touch now, Alex, isn't it so nice, feel them throb as they touch and tease ,so good and so lovely, the feel of yours and mine beautifully in cohesion and now I feel the need to link and initiate our new relationship in other ways and now our cocks have touched, that's the opening of our need to relieve the lust and the craving and I need and want to suck you as much as I know you do me .

"So we can initiate that now Alex. Let us really breath in the sweet smell of sex and the taste of honey, but remember, nice and slow does it, there will be ample time later to let ourselves go."

"Suck me now Bob" I craved feeling him begin to touch me there, his fingers circling and squeezing my stem, teasing down the foreskin and revealing the head of my throbbing orifice and licking like it was a cherry to be tasted and sampled.

And as we found a suitable position he made it easy me to access him there, so we could both mutually enjoy the thrill, the scent and the taste of sweet, sweet oral manipulations and I felt so fine that first time I tasted him, and felt it so beautifully moving in my mouth, as I felt him suck me more, feeling the utter joy of that, of being sucked and enjoyed like he was me, his head bobbing joyfully up and down as he took my length further and further into his mouth and I saw that he was deep throating me. It felt so good. I knew I must do the same. And anyway I wanted to. I closed my eyes, took a very deep breath and went for it, not hand touching this time, just finding it with my mouth. I felt it actually entering my throat and the sounds Bob made were so special. I sucked it right in to the girth and now my eyes were closed and I was full of him in my mouth and in my throat and he too was the same.

Then it was impossible to suck because the whole girth filled the opening of my throat, it was fully immersed and I managed to hold my breath and experience the full joy of pure unadulterated cock .

It was earthy and pungent - it was the new taste of cock I had not known and I liked very much.

I felt as it was a lodged there that soon it would fill me beneath and that would be the ultimate experience in our wonderful new relationship, when we would at last enjoy the magic and benefits of the fuck.

I wanted that now. I was ready for it, It was as if I was wet there like a woman is wet when she is ready.

"Please ,please now?" I pleaded. " I need and want you now and even though I had come away I tasted the taste of cock still there my throat and the sweet scent of it in my nostrils, now I wanted it inside me. I was so ready I was. "Please, please, Bob?"

"Turn over" he said and I felt his cock stiffen, I waited for the feel of it saunter between my cheeks, waiting for the feel of it starting to approach my special place for it to lodge and fuck me deep inside.

But even now he teased me with just the touch of its head there, rimming and rolling and then his finger staring to rim me, and then his face between my cheeks. I knew then he wanted to taste me there too, all the stretching there and the feel of his tongue rolling and rolling around its rim.

Even then, still he was waiting, he said he wanted to enjoy me in every conceivable way and right now he was fully concentrated and emerged enjoying the contours of my hind.

It was wonderful and I was thinking just how much more can our lust take. I was so craving for it, the way he was sucking me up and rolling my as cheeks between his face, teasing, kneading and lightly nudging which made me flare up and demand his fuck!

"That is better Alex" he yelled and the next thing at last he was there, deep inside me and it all happened so very quickly because I was so ready for him..

But even then he took his time to fuck me, to relish me by taking me in different stances.. He really went to it hammer and tongue doggy fashion, he said my ass was made for fucking and where had I been all his life.

He paused inside me, letting us both enjoy the throbbing of cock in ass. I helped work him inside me, rolling around and feeling the wonderful different sensations inside.

The joy of being with Bob I knew would last and last.. He fucked me sound and when he'd done he was still sucking up the residue of the perfect climax. He murmured he had lots of ideas a for us - he'd like to dress me in just sheer silken underwear and spoil me crazy.

But for the present it was time to move in. We had made it together and our relationship grew.