The silence was uneasy.
"I thought as much," Alex said. "I helped you then and I'll help you now." He relaxed into the leather sofa and took a sip of brandy. "Besides, I wouldn't want your sister to cut me off. I've become accustomed to certain…things."
Instead of rising at the bait as he usually would, Aurel looked pensive for a moment, absorbing everything that was said. A weight that he hadn't realized existed lifted off of his chest, leaving him almost lightheaded with relief. He had been willing to go it alone, but it would have been much more difficult, perhaps impossible. Even suicidal. Maybe he was selfish, but the response he received had been the one he had hoped for. Still, he had needed to give Alex an out. Aurel blindly gripped Alex's hand and said "Thank you."
"Don't mention it. Though I will have to tell Misha about your little lapse into idiocy. Be prepared for a tongue lashing like no other."
Aurel looked at Cai, who had gripped his other hand. "Cousin, where you go, I go. You and Misha are the only family I have." The moment was ruined when Alex cuffed Cai on the back of the head.
"Leave someone out Cai?" Alex said.
"My apologies. Aurel, Misha, and…little Nicki," Cai replied, playfully ignoring Alex's glare.
Mych and Ruvn had been lost in thought during the exchange, sharing a silent communion before Mych spoke for both of them. He had to struggle past the lump that formed in his throat. "I'm not used to speaking so seriously, but if there was ever a time for it I suppose this is it." He took a deep breath. "Aurel, we have no choice in the matter. You made the choice for us the day you took us in and thumbed your nose at the rest of the world. Our own tribes don't want us. They even hunted us for sport before you came along. Everyone else was happy to let us find hell in our own way but you gave us a family when we had nothing." The confession was difficult for him. He was looking at the floor; his hazel eyes squinted as if looking into a bright light, unruly black hair partially hiding his expression. "I can't repay that, I don't have money enough, even friendship enough to cover that debt, but I can die trying," he said, finally meeting Aurel's eyes with the fierce determination in his own. Ruvn nodded his solemn agreement.
Aurel stood abruptly, turning to the door to hide the unaccustomed tears that threatened to pool, grappling with the foreign feeling. He mentally chastised himself. He never relinquished control. He never showed strong emotion. With the depression he had fallen into, he didn't think he had any strong emotion left in him besides despair, and even before that he had been reserved. Aloof.
Alone.
He kept his back to the others, holding himself rigid to conceal his turmoil. He almost choked before giving gruff thanks to Mych, unwilling to reveal his weakness, but equally unwilling to ignore the heartfelt words of a rare friend.
"Cai, will you and Ruvn go on ahead? We will meet you at the entrance. Mych, I need you to tell the guards that we are prepared to leave."
The others left quickly, even Mych, who could have easily communicated with the other guards from inside the room. Only Alex now remained, staying behind to mock him with worried, questioning eyes. Aurel would have walked past him, but Alex bared his way with an arm and a glance. Aurel pointedly ignored him, but didn't push past, knowing that he would have to submit to a discussion.
"You look like shit Aurel."
"I'm fine."
"Cut line. You don't look fine to me," Alex said, "and I'm sure Mych would agree."
"He hasn't said anything to me."
"He worships the ground you walk on. Of course he hasn't said anything."
"Maybe Mych hasn't become all touchy-feely since he married my sister," said Aurel.
Alex grabbed Aurel and turned him to look at him. "That was beneath you."
Aurel still couldn't meet his eyes. "I know."
"I'm just concerned Aurel," Alex said, " It's not like you would've won any beauty contests before, but now you look haggard." Aurel knew it was true. He hadn't been sleeping enough, and small lines of worry had appeared around his eyes. He wasn't what he would have termed classically handsome on the best of days, but he had always considered that his blunt, leonine features suited his large frame. Ruggedly masculine was what he thought when he was being particularly generous with himself, but now he just felt drawn.
"Your sister will have me skinned if she finds out I didn't do anything to help. We both know that it isn't just recent events that have affected you like this, It's been coming on for a while now. Talk to me. Please."
It was the please that did him in. Aurel studied the toe of his shoe like it was the most important thing on earth, trying to convert his thoughts to words and finding none. It would have been novel if the matter were not so serious; he was rather known for his glib tongue. He just didn't know what to say. He searched for the words to describe what he felt. If he felt.
How do you tell your brother that you are lonely, that he had taken away the one person that made your stark life bearable? Aurel hadn't realized the magnitude of his loss at first. He was happy for her, truly. He had gone on as he always had, only gradually sinking into the depression that now consumed him. No Misha to lean on when he needed to be strong for everyone else. No Misha to be his conscience. No Misha to pretend with him. She had left pretend behind when Alexandru had swept her off her feet; beautiful blond Alex, giving her the real thing and showing him the parody his life actually was. Aurel had thrown himself into his work to make up for the lack in his life but now… He was breaking down. His political life was in danger of being assassinated as thoroughly as his friends and associates. He was at the end of his tether.
His consternation must have shown, because awareness fell over Alex's face like an eclipse. Aurel winced at the look of sudden understanding, and seethed at the thought that he was pitied. He threw off the hand that had come to rest on his shoulder and snarled, stalking out the door to meet Mychael.
Alex watched him walk away with an impotent sadness. Mates were so rare and so highly prized; everyday he thanked a God he had once denied for the love of his life. He was sure that Aurel had lost any hope he had once held for something, someone, to give him the same joy.
"Aurel, I know there is someone waiting for you."
*****
The early evening was a cool grey that blended into the harsh sea, a hint of pink and a foam of frothy white the only delineation between the water and the sky. The birds that normally circled the churning waves were curiously absent, gone to easier, safer shores. The house was stark and imposing in it's isolated splendor on the bluff, its sward of green lawn a clean contrast to its monotone elemental surroundings.
They gathered in an underground chamber, a cavern in the rocky coastline below the manor that had been modified suitably for the purpose. There were only two entrances, the narrow concrete passage that led from the main house, and the sea, a tempest of water and rock that kept most people from exploring too close. It was a discrete entrance as much as an escape, one that most of their number used.
Despite the ocean noise and the rough rock walls, or perhaps because of them, the large room was well appointed. Recessed lighting softly lit the thick, jewel toned rugs, comfortable club chairs and honey colored wood that graced the leveled floors. A bar in the corner served drinks and a buffet table held an array of gourmet canapés and more mundane foods of every description. Aurel would be the first to admit that it resembled a gentleman's club. He had planned it in detail. On more than one occasion he had been forced to suffer the hospitality of those who were less inclined towards simple creature comforts and more towards Spartan masochism.
People were still occasionally ascending the spiral stair that led down to the pool that fed into the ocean but most had already arrived. The meeting wasn't to begin for another half an hour, but everyone gathered early to cement alliances, reaffirm private agreements, and publicly snub those who displeased them, all under the pretense of mingling. Aurel silently walked through the gathering, Mychael hard and inscrutable at his side. He preferred to use this time to appraise his adversaries rather than posture, bullshit or both.
He smiled to himself. Apparently Cai was not the only one to have his language mangled by Alex's bad influence. He parted ways with them both at the door like they had arranged, intent now on sizing up the gathering.
His was a subtle lot, but almost no one could maintain a rigid guard indefinitely. Anything could betray a person's true thoughts, a shift in body temperature, a nervous hand gesture, a blink. Rhys always laughed nervously before telling an untruth. Aurel nodded at the man as he went past. Sadira always glanced to the left. Aurel bowed graciously to her before continuing his circuit of the chamber. The money he could have made if only he went into poker instead of the often unrewarding path he had chosen.
No matter how often they gathered, Aurel could never quite escape the feeling of awe he felt. It was a riveting kaleidoscope of color and culture. He idly identified a dozen languages and made a guess at over a dozen more. Farsi. Tagalog. Deutsch. Thai. No thieves' bazaar of the imagination could compare to the eclectic mix of people and costume on display. Here, a dour British professor talking to a jeweled Arabian prince; there, a Polynesian dancer in agreeable conflict with a kindly Asian monk.
