Shattered Diamonds

Author's Introduction:

This story of about one and a half pages is a surprise, even to me. I started on a story that was primarily intended as a mindless sexual romp between a hitchhiker and a truck driver. However, without any planning to do so, the story veered into a completely different tale. It's a tale that sorta punches me in the gut. Be advised that while their is loving intimacy in this, it is not the main focus. I'm publishing it because I like the overall message it carries -- actually, I'd be afraid to not publish it given the strange circumstances of how it came to be. Even though this story leaves an opening for more love to follow, I do not think it should be written. I fear it would trivialize the message in this one. I'd really like to know in the comments below what you think about this story. ~ yukonnights

*****

Hitchhiking to the western states seemed like a really good idea laying on my back in bed back home; seemed a perfect way out. The fact that, home was back at the folk's place after the breakup with my fiancée, made the trip sound even better. It all hit me as unexpected, we both just finished all those years of college and earned our degrees -- we were happy that life was about to really start. That was all bad enough, but the folk's turning on me because of what Heather told them was more of an eviction notice than any decision I made. But now out here with the rain pouring down and surrounded by corn fields and farms -- well, the idea of hitting the road looked a lot better on my bed daydreaming. But it's too late to turn back now -- it may be too late to ever turn back after they all made it clear what they think of me. No, I just need to keep my hopes up and my thumb out when a car or truck comes my way.

It was just west of Lincoln with the rain coming down pretty hard when I see him and his thumb stuck out. I don't usually stop, but this rain get's my soft side to pull over.

Finally, a semi-truck pulls over and I run to where he's stopped. I step up on the passenger side, he pushes a button and the window goes down enough to talk.

"Pretty nasty weather to be thumbing -- where you heading?"

"Thanks for stopping man, my last ride ended here, and I was starting to think I'd be walking all the way out west in this rain. But anywhere going west is fine for me -- I'm on my way all the way to a town called Somewhere I don't even know yet. In other words, I'm just going west."

"Well, pull your wet coat off and hang it on that hook in the back nearest your door so the water won't drip on the bed. Then come on aboard and get settled in." The young guy looks to be in his mid twenties maybe older -- the stirring interest in my loins reminds me how long it's been. As he settles into his seat, it's easier to see all of him and take a second look that takes me to a place I've tried hard to bury. His sepia toned skin and straight black hair -- even his physique... just as petit and fit. I may have just taken on a temptation that's going to be hard to deal with --he could be his twin brother.... "Ah, so what's out west that's calling you out in this weather? By the way, name's Drew -- Drew Collins. What can I call you?"

"Juan Espinosa, thanks again for stopping for me Mr. Collins."

"Drew, just call me Drew -- that mister stuff just makes me feel older."

He doesn't look old to me... but, "Yes sir, Drew it is. Well, I didn't plan on the weather turning this time of the year and the big plan was to just take a break after college and see some country that's not filled with condos and high-rise office buildings. If I decide on a master's -- I just needed a break." Best to leave out the main reason -- Sarah just deciding out of the blue to cut things off -- funny how Gary the football player showed up so quickly after. This guy doesn't want to hear my sad tale any more than I want to think about it anymore. I look his way, he's busy working his way through the gears getting the big rig back up to cruising speed. "But I'm sure grateful for you stopping. I've heard it's hard to get a ride from a trucker."

"Well, I don't make it a habit to pick up strangers -- I think seeing you in this rain must have pricked a soft spot I didn't know about."

"Well, I'm harmless and really grateful -- but I'm so soaked, and I think this seat's getting wet too. Should I get in back and change into something dry?"

"Sure, that's a good idea. Once the seat gets soaked it'd take awhile for it to dry out." I glance again at the trim body in the clinging clothes as he squeezes between the seats and into the back -- the thin brown cotton hiking style pants are soaked and sorta cling to him. I watch the road and steal glances over my shoulder as he strips off his shirt with his back turned to me -- then his wet jeans and underwear. Fuck! He's almost a spitting image of my Mateo -- my heart breaks again just with the memory of him --his laugh -- his tenderness. When Juan comes back up front, I force the memories into a retreat and silence. I look at him again, with a closer focus. He's changed into some hiking style cut-off's and a thin white cotton teeshirt that doesn't hide his dark nipples -- nipples obviously made hard from the chill -- just like my Mateo's nipples. I can't help but admire his plump bottom as he pivots to cover the damp seat with a towel he got out of his backpack. Then once he's all settled in again, I can't help but notice that his slim legs are almost hairless -- and my heart is breaking from the painful memories he's awakened -- but to my surprise, my cock swells a bit more. His voice breaks the spell....

"So, where all you figure your trip will take you and your truck -- like what states and such do you have a load for?"

"We're on interstate eighty now and we'll stay on this all through the plains states to Salt Lake City. Then we'll get on eighty-four up to Portland. This load actually needs to get to Tacoma, but that's just a short drive north from Portland. After that, I'll drive back down to Idaho where my place is. Don't worry, you'll see some nice scenery and some big country." I take my map book from the door pocket and hand it to him, "Here's some maps if you want to see where you'll be going." I smile at his enthusiasm as he carefully traces a finger over our route. His hands are slim and clean with perfect nails -- it's obvious he's never worked at any labor. The longer we drive and the more I look him over -- the more I think of Mateo and what we had together. The memories mean we drive along in silence, him studying the maps and me studying him every once in awhile... but no longer with sexual overtones leading the way. After a short time with the maps, he nods off into a nap. I wonder if I should let him sleep or keep him awake to get more in sync with my own sleep schedule -- I go for the later. "Hey, looks like we're finally driving out of that rain -- nothing nicer than some sun to brighten the afternoon after a rain." -- He comes back to life pretty easily and looks around.

"Yeah, back in Chicago the rains just seem to hunker down and stay for too long. This is starting to look really different from back there. Truth is, I'd love to just travel all over the west even down in the desert country. New Mexico is on my must see list -- my parents families live there. But already this feels bigger and more open than anything I've ever lived in. I just feel it in my bones -- I think maybe in some past life I must have been a cowboy or something. Im sure glad you stopped for me."

Juan reaches his hand out for a shake, I take his smaller hand into mine and hold it a bit longer than one normally would -- the soft gentleness calls to something inside of me -- something old and familiar... a desire to gently and sweetly dominate a softer man... a man like Mateo who loved to be sexually pleasured and serviced as he willingly laid aside his own masculine pride for me. In a flash, my emotions swell remembering how we fed each other's needs. How he eagerly embraced his submissive cravings as if his only need was to satisfy me... all while I fed off of my need to strip away any trace of masculine dominance left in him. We had honed our dance to perfection while our love bond grew stronger -- our understanding of one another grew sharper -- our sexual souls blended closer into one... closer than I ever thought possible.

Drew's grasp engulfs my hand -- it's big and calloused and strong... but also tender and easy. He holds my hand in silence. It's plain to see he's thinking of something. His hold on my hand isn't the cowboy handshake I had in mind -- it's much more gentle than that and I just let him hold it. Then we drive along in silence.

I realize that Drew is lost in thought and he finally sets my hand free. The quiet reflective aura in the truck pulls my own reflective thoughts back to the memories of why Heather and I broke up. In hindsight it wasn't really out of the blue, I shouldn't have been so surprised. I only wanted to be open and honest in every way when I told her that I had some bisexual queer experiences in my past -- I thought it would make us even closer to share every secret. Until that moment I had no idea she had such radical religious beliefs -- clearly a secret she didn't share with me. I guess I should have known, but she never said much about anything concerning sex. But no matter what I said, the fact that I'd sucked a few cocks in college was all she could focus on. Her ultimatum that I go to some psychologist that did "homosexual healing" was too much -- it's sad to think about, but that was just too out there for me... even though I had no plans to continue any queer stuff now that we were getting married -- she just wouldn't believe I was done with guys. But the fact that Drew's touch is kindling these feelings this way -- I think that the breakup was the best for her and me. Not that Drew is doing anything -- and I sure won't broach the subject... I just know bisexuality is a part of me that I need to be careful with... maybe at some point I'll find the right guy to explore more with... or maybe these queer desires will just go away some day. His voice startles me.

"I'm gonna need my hand back Juan if we're gonna make it up this grade coming up -- you seem to be lost in some thoughts there little buddy."

"Oh, so sorry -- I was a little distracted there -- sorry."

"No need to apologize. You're on a big adventure and I'm sure all kinds of plans and details come to mind. I like that in a man -- someone who thinks about what they're doing or planning to do. And I take it from the way you talk that you might end up staying out west. As a man who lives out here, I wouldn't dissuade you from getting out of the city if the opportunity comes up."

"You know Drew, I agree with that. I'm already feeling more free and alive just being even this far from Chicago. Where do you live?"

"I grew up in Oregon, learned to drive these trucks working as a log hauler and then worked my way into my own rig -- guess it's just kept growing. The logging was fun because it was all up in the woods on crazy small dirt roads. But the money is in these freight hauls and I just go up into the woods to fart around and be in nature now, but I usually use my dirt-bike for that."

"I envy you. I don't know what I might find to do out west -- my degree and experience is in finance."

"That should do you good. There's lot's of small towns and plenty of big ones where that experience and education would be in demand. But it sounds like you've had enough of the bigger cities, eh?"

"Yeah, I would like to maybe settle in something smaller and close to the mountains. But talking with you is encouraging. I'd really like to get up into those woods you spoke of -- and I just gotta see the big canyons and mountains too."

"Well, you're young and have lots of years to see it all. I think you're gonna be happy out here Juan-- maybe it was God's plan all along that you and your fiancée broke it all off?"

"You know, I'm not sorry it happened -- and the fact that I'm not heartbroken tells me maybe it was all for the best."

"Glad to hear that -- no use in crying over spilt milk, eh?"

"Nope, no crying here. I'm feeling free already and it feels good... really good."

"Well, little buddy, I've got to stop up here a ways and get my off duty hours taken care of. You know, how they regulate how many hours a trucker can drive before taking a rest break. Anyhoo, I can drop you off somewhere on the highway or you can stick with me. There's room back there for two, especially since you aren't so big."

"Seems I vaguely remember hearing something about that rest-break requirement -- but to your question; I'd really like to stay with you all the way to the end... if that's okay with you?"

"Sure, I enjoy the company. Anyhoo, I know a spot up the road a bit that's off the interstate where I can park for the night. It's off the beaten track so it's quiet and even has a picnic table and a fire ring -- I've got some grub we can share and we'll just sit under the stars and relax before bedtime. Might even hear a coyote call after the sun goes down."

"That sounds perfect -- never heard a coyote except in the movies. Thanks again Drew, you don't know how much this means to me. So glad it was you who stopped to give me a ride."

"It's nice to have some company on the long hauls -- and you're good company little buddy. And truth is, these nights get cold out here and you'll add some warmth to our bunk. Don't worry, I've got a twelve volt electric blanket too, if we need it. Or maybe you have your own tent in your pack -- you're obviously welcome to set-up your own camp... this is the perfect place to do that."

"No, I didn't have time before I left to get everything I really need. So, the bed back there does look plenty big enough for two, if you're sure you don't mind -- I mean, I can sleep sitting here too."

"Nonsense, you wouldn't sleep good sitting there -- trust me, I've had to do that back in the day."

He smiles and winks at me and I can't help but smile back. It's strange how he makes me feel safe with him even being not much more than a stranger. There's just a down to earth way about him that is soothing and pleasant. When he starts slowing down, I admire the way he's working through the gears on the freeway off ramp. When he turns north on a much smaller road, I figure this leads to the overnight stop. It's a two lane state highway and it's getting darker as the day ends. But there's still the evening afterglow when he pulls into the rest area by a decent size river. Drew expertly and quickly gets his truck into place and shuts down the engine.

"Well, home for at least five hours, maybe more if I feel like. Nice to be your own boss Juan."

He takes, what he calls the logbook out and writes in it.

"I put some homemade meals in the warmer last stop for fuel. They should be hot by now -- you hungry?"

Actually, I'm starving but I just tell him, "Yeh, I could eat something. You sure you have extra to share? I have some junk food in my pack."

"Don't worry little buddy, I have plenty enough to share. Let's get out of here and I'll get a fire going. Be nice to stretch out a bit."

"Yeh, I hear you. It does get tiresome being in here hour after hour."

"You get more used to it over time, but my butt's sore right now. Probably stand by the fire and eat. Grab some sodas -- the cooler's behind you on the bed."

The fire is nice and the weather has settled. There's still some broken clouds overhead -- they seem to be racing across the moonlit sky to catch up with the storm that's been with us most of the day. Drew is starting to feel like an old friend and we sit and eat and chit chat, filling in some details of our lives. I'm pretty sure I'll never forget this trip, this spot or him... and I know I'll be a bit sad when our road-trip is over. We sit together and stare at the fire a good while after we clean up after eating. As the fire tumbles in to red glowing embers, Drew stands up. He kicks the coals into a tighter pile, turns and put's his hand down to where I'm sitting for me to grab.

"We'll, I don't know about you, but I'm ready for bed."

He gives me a hand up and we head for our bunks.

"I normally sleep nude, but since you're here -- I can sleep in my underwear."

I'll be honest, my heart flip-flopped a couple of bounces before my brain kicked in. I always sleep nude too. But wouldn't that be too weird? We don't know each other all that well. Plus, my cock's waking up! Ah, another reason to keep it covered. "Uh, I usually sleep in my underwear... but you don't have to change your routine for me. That bed is plenty big for us both and some space to spare. I mean, if you want; I've got a sleeping bag in my pack -- I can sleep outside it you want."

"The forecast is saying there's still a chance for more rain tonight -- you could sleep under the truck I guess. But really, I think you'll be miserable out here. It's gonna get colder. I'll just sleep in my undies -- no big deal."

Now, I'm feeling stupid -- of course I'd like him to sleep naked. What an idiot. "Sure, that's fine too -- I mean, either way. I just don't want to be a burden or inconvenience -- you know?"

"Sure, that works fine Juan. Back home, I'm a naturist -- that's folks who enjoy nudity in nature and such. So, I'm not as frightened of nude bodies as some are. Underwear for both of it is. Let's go get some sleep."

As I follow him back to the truck, I feel like somehow I really fucked that up. I've only been fantasizing about and then sucking some cocks for over a year. What an idiot to freeze up now. Why does he appeal to me so much yet seems somehow to be a reach too far? At the truck, he tells me, "You hop on up and get settled. You take the back side and I'll be forward. I'm gonna brush my teeth and take a little sponge bath of my privates -- sleep better when I'm at least somewhat cleaned up. Tomorrow we can both catch a shower at a truck-stop up the road a bit. Anyhoo, you're welcome to do the sponge bath thing too -- up to you."

Without overthinking this time, "That sounds like a good idea. What's the process?"

"Grab what we need from your kit, the restrooms have running water -- no guarantee it's warm water. I'll jump up and get my kit and meet you there after you get what you need. There's usually plenty of paper towels so no need to bring a towel."

After he gets his small bath kit, it takes some time to dig what I need out of my pack, then hurry to join him. When I walk in, he's already removed his clothes and is standing by the sinks only in his boots. I can't help but look at what I've been wondering about for hours. It's all even better than I fantasized. For the first time, I'm actually with a man who is maybe ten years older than I am. His body is a man's body. Even though I'm a man and old enough to be finished with university -- I recognize the difference between us. That difference thrills me in a unique and unexpected way -- he looks powerful. At best, I think I look okay in a slimmer way. It's like looking at someone and knowing they've seen some experiences in life -- compared to a newly graduated guy with little real world experience. When I look up from staring at him, his eyes are locked with mine -- there's a softness there and I can almost hear the words; 'I understand, don't worry. Everything will be alright.'

It's obvious to me that Juan is attracted to other men. I'll not push him, but I'll leave an open door for him to choose or not. "You see, the trick is, pull out several of these paper towels and use 'em to stand on to wash your feet. Then put your shoes back on. The janitor doesn't get out here everyday, it seems. The water's warm, so feel free to take my place. I'm pretty much done and just need to dry off." I step away from the wash-basin and dry myself, put some deodorant on and begin to put my clothes back on -- minus the used underwear. Now, it's my turn to watch him. "I'll just peek outside and make sure no one else has decided to stop here for the night -- I got caught here one night and it made me feel kinda weird. But being clean for bed is worth the risk for me."