Prologue: In one of my short stories, I wrote about two bi-guys meeting up and having sex. It was criticised by an anomomous reader saying, "You do not have the foggiest idea of gay sex." After getting over my initial annoyance, I reflected on the comment for a moment and realized that they were right. It wasn't gay sex; it was bi-guy sex. And although one can talk in generalities about what heterosexual sex is and what gay sex is, the reality is that everyone brings something unique to the bedroom--or wherever they bring themselves for eros! And bi-guys bring something different and special--or at least I feel that I do.
Having been steeped in heterosexual relationships for most of my adult life, I have learned successful ways of not only wooing women, but pleasuring them, too. For example, through conversation and mutually-enjoyed activities, I first got to know a woman as a friend. We went on to share intimacies, and became more vulnerable. We gauged where trust could be formed, and when each of us could safely reveal more of ourselves, which deepened the intimacy. With that came a familiarity and an openness to touch, maybe the touch of fingers, a hand on a shoulder, or a lingering full-bodied hug.
These and other ways of connecting led, in turn, to both greater trust and greater intimacy. Then came the kiss on the cheek, followed by the kiss for which she did not turn away, the repeated kisses, the longer kisses, the deeper kisses, and, over weeks and months, that physical connection evolved in parallel with an emotional connection. It was a slow, deliberate process. I made a lot of mistakes, but I, nonetheless, built a foundation for approaching a romantic relationship with a woman.
As for romantic relationships with men, things were completely different. I was raised in the catholic tradition, so we were taught that being gay was wrong, which made me feel guilty about my interest in men's bodies, and made me feel terrified with my homo-erotic dreams. So, like a good catholic, I kept any urge to act on my curiosity carefully under wraps.
Once I had left the church, my attraction to men did find its way into consciousness during the dry days, in between relationships with women, but it wasn't until in my late thirties when I was able to summon the courage to explore more intimate man-man relationships.
I was married then, so my openness, honesty, and genuine curiosity, which I learned in dating women, seemed to be helpful in finding my first two "boyfriends," relationships for which, initially, I didn't tell my wife about. They showed me that I could have a similar relationship with a man partner as with a woman partner, but ultimately, they resulted in only brief flings, rather than longer-lasting affairs.
I guess I got impatient after that, unwilling to wait for another lengthy time of friendship-finding first. So, I decided to try a shortcut by meeting married men through various dating apps. The anonymity seemed to let us speed-date by asking the more intimate questions about what they were looking for in a relationship, their sexual likes and dislikes, their sexual and Covid safety, and so on. Those not willing to share how they felt, fell by the wayside. It was initially a very helpful sorting tool.
But for those who passed my sanity test, the rub for me came in deciding if i wanted to have a friendship first before sex, as I had in my previous relationships. But that wasn't always the interest of the men with whom I was corresponding.
Their bottom lines were generally laid out pretty clearly from the beginning. Even though we intended to get to know each other online as "friends" the expectations for sex were upfront--or jokingly suggested through seductive double entendres.
If there weren't any red flags raised in the emails, and we agreed to meet, inevitably we proceeded to share some brief conversation as a pretext to planning a sexual "meat-up."
It was not so much about getting to know someone with all their faults, foibles, or failings, sharing our deeper secrets with each other, developing an emotional connection of openness and trust. My sense was that men didn't generally like to reveal vulnerabilities right away. We were taught that as boys we don't cry, we don't act weak, we show no emotion-except maybe for anger.
So, when trying to develop a romantic relationship with a bi-guy, much of the sensitivity of getting to know a potential partner gave way to getting each other hard and to moving at some mutually agreed upon pace to ejaculation. And after the sex act was over, assuming it was satisfactory, the two of us acknowledged a brief post-cumming recap of the events, and made a tentative plan to meet up again.
Perhaps I was compromising my ideals, or naively believing that even though the relationship began with sex, it could conceivably proceed to an emotional intimacy over time. Whichever it was, I accepted today's reality of meeting men online. And after two attempts at a man-to-man relationship had failed, I met my third married-man, Al, the subject of She for Them Ch. 2.
Al arrived a bit late, or later than he predicted, and parked his red mustang in front of our garage. I had been waiting for him on my back porch, phone in hand, in case he needed to text me for navigational aids.
He closed the car door, scooted around the little tail end, and began striding my way. I greeted him with a simple salutation,
"You made it."
Not counting our initial parking-lot rendezvous two or three months earlier, and two more recent restaurant meals together, this was our second "meat-up," an afternoon anticipated for sex.
Prior to our parking-lot contact, we had exchanged a lot of emails and texts, and some images of our casual, clothed selves revealing our basic appearance. But seeing someone face to face meant more to me, as did listening to their immediate response to a question, without editing to perfection as with an email.
I recalled several details of that first encounter. Al was shorter than I, with a more compact build. He had a mustache. He appeared clean, he was articulate, and we could speak candidly about previous partners, our wives-who were not into sex, Covid vaccinations, and more. Plus, we reviewed in detail many of our prior sexual experiences, all of which corroborated what I had remembered from his emails.
After almost half an hour of talking, I felt that he met my standards for safety and that he was someone I was interested in. When he had described some of his man-man sexual escapades, it made me think of him as preferring the role of a top. That inference aroused me, because in all my fantasies, my erotica reading, and my sexual workshop experiences, I took the role of a bottom or submissive. So I remembered telling him that I thought he was hot. In other words, I could imagine sucking him off and allowing myself to be fucked by him.
He ascended the two steps onto the porch. He explained away his lateness today as a result of highway construction, and gave me an open-mouthed, wet kiss. He was a great kisser, but right then, I had too many questions for him, so I didn't immediately engage with his style of greeting. Instead, I chose to surround him with a lengthy full-bodied hug. I wanted to make sure we were both still embarking on a more honest and open relationship. If he were retreating again into secrecy, I had decided that I wasn't going to meet his sexual needs today-nor tell him about my planned threeway for us with Lisa.
