"Stiffer," Silver shouted.
"Not possible," Feldspar huffed, his face red with effort. His arm burned but he pushed himself to beat harder, faster. There was no way this would best him again. The egg whites had at least gone opaque and a little thick this time. He wasn't ready to admit defeat. He wouldn't. He could do this.
"Stiffer," Silver repeated, this time lower and full of authority.
Feldspar's sword arm burned. It ached. His wrist had a twinge in it and it was possible he was going to do actual damage if he kept going. Feldspar groaned and tossed his head side to side. "I yield," he cried. He shoved the bowl of half-beaten egg whites and whisk back into Silver's arms, defeated. He'd already tried at the two previous cooking sessions to whip the eggs into stiff peaks by hand. Silver was even letting him use his dominant hand this time. He was starting to think it was impossible. Silver crowed in victory and took the bowl, whipping the eggs with vigor.
When he smugly showed Feldspar the bowl of smooth, stiff peaked egg whites, Feldspar mumbled that he'd gotten them started for Silver. Silver smugly said it was all about technique, not muscle. Feldspar snapped a towel at Silver's backside when both his hands were occupied pouring the meringue into a pastry bag, cackling at Silver's indignant yelp. When Silver was done he passed the pastry bag to Feldspar. He still hadn't earned his whisk tattoo, but he was getting pretty good at piping out the meringue in neat dollops. He met Silver's eyes over the baking sheet. His gray eyes were twinkling with laughter and his silver hair was still perfectly combed back. Feldspar wanted to sink his hands into it and mess it up. It shouldn't have been possible to stay so unruffled after whipping the eggs like that. He wanted to feather his fingertips along Silver's pointed ears. He remembered how that had made Silver shiver so many months ago. For a second he felt like Silver might lean across the counter and kiss him, natural as anything. Silver looked away first, and Feldspar busied himself with finishing the cookies.
Feldspar put the baking sheet into the oven and settled into a nest of pillows in Silver's sitting area to wait for them to be done. Silver poured him fresh-squeezed guava juice and flopped down on the floor pillow next to him. Feldspar glanced at his friend and felt a rush of gratitude for Silver's easy friendship. Over the last month he'd been sleeping better, drinking less, and feeling happy more often than not. He felt like himself again, maybe even a better version of himself.
Silver looked up and caught him staring. "What?"
"Nothing."
"Dude, you're staring."
"I most certainly was not."
"Uh huh."
"I was just trying to figure out if your arms are in fact made of metal. Daniella has informed me of the wonders of modern robotics and you do spend quite a bit of time with humans. It's the only possible explanation for how proficient you are with a whisk."
Silver snorted in response. "Whatever. You don't have to tell me what you were really thinking."
Feldspar smirked and leaned back so he could look at the ceiling. The thought of telling Silver what he had really been thinking about made his heart feel like it was tied up in knots.
"I was thinking I haven't felt this good in a long time," he said after a lengthy silence. Feldspar peeked at Silver. He was smiling bashfully as he looked at his lap while he fiddled with a thread on his pants. Feldspar had the strongest urge to tackle him. He wanted to mess him up, squeeze him, devour him. He wanted to hold him softly and make him blush and go soft. He wanted and wanted. He wanted so many things he didn't know what to do with himself. "After everything with Mal, it was really hard. I was trying to act as if I felt nothing when Daniella and Mal are around. Gneiss never really understood why I was so sad and Nephrite sort of just sticks to herself to begin with. I haven't had any friends who understand me. You understand me. You always listen to me without letting me wallow. You make me be okay. Better than okay, actually. It's good to feel like myself again."
Silver winced and Feldspar cocked his head in question. Silver cleared his throat, still looking away. "Yeah, I do get it. I've kinda been there before. Not the same depth as you and Mal had, but I get it." He trailed off. When the silence grew too thick he darted a look at Feldspar, who was clearly waiting for him to continue. He looked away again and resumed fiddling with the thread on his pants. "There was this guy once. I was totally obsessed with him --"
"Is that so? Do I know him?"
"Shut up. As I was saying, I was just obsessed with this guy. He was so sexy and strong. He had this aura around him, like he made everyone around him more, like they were bigger and better just by being around him. He was also so... okay, this is going to sound gross. But he was so sensual, like, not just in sex way. He took so much pleasure out of everything. Like, if a joke was funny, he really laughed. If he was lounging in the sun, he was really soaking it in. Everything he did, he was all in. The thing that really got me about him was that he didn't even realize the effect he had on people."
