I lay there on the hotel room bed, my arm thrown across my eyes to hold the demons at bay, lying on my back, legs spread and bent. I hurt; it had hurt. It was my first time. I knew it would hurt. It would hurt the next time too, but probably not so much the time after that. I knew I'd get past that too, though. I'd known what I wanted. I was ambitious too. I concentrated on regularizing my breathing, to calm down.
To get on with it. To get past it.
He'd made it clear. I wasn't going to get out of a cubicle on the accounting office floor unless I let him fuck me. So, I let him fuck me. I leaned in that direction anyway. I just hadn't done it before. He was OK for the first time. I mean he was my boss; I would have let him anyway, but he was fit and good-looking and not too old not to be able to keep it up. All things considered; he was fine.
I moved my arm from my face and reached down, checking myself out. I was spread open and it was wet. Was that lube or his cum? Was it supposed to stay open forever after a butt fuck? Would it go back to the way it was before? I tested it with my finger and looked at it. Not blood. I hadn't bled. Cum. Jared Bradford's cum. He hadn't even asked about needing a condom.
He was over at the floor-to-ceiling window, slouched against the window frame, looking down into the busy Hong Kong harbor, some twenty stories down, smoking a cigarette. He was a sexy man, even in his forties--a handsome devil, trim, well-muscled and well-groomed. I had no idea how he was in the equipment area. I'd seen naked men before. I was athletic. I'd been in a lot of locker rooms. He had too, I could tell from how fit he was. We'd played tennis before. I was better, a collegiate champion, but he was good. I just hadn't seen that many men in erection. I didn't know if I'd taken a really big one or not.
It sure felt that way. I hadn't known how it will feel like to be filled, spread, stretched. It had felt like nothing else, the pain consuming, but something else, behind that. I'd been told the pain would subside in time and repetition and, pain or no pain, it would become a need. I was told if I really was a submissive, it would become something of so much pleasure and satisfaction that I'd have to have it. I sure as hell hoped it would get better. From what I'd learned about this firm, there were going to be more cocks in me if I wanted to go up.
He was in erection again now. Would he want to do again today? The hand not holding the cigarette was grasping his cock and slow stroking it. He had been looking down into the harbor, watching the busy boat traffic, but he heard me stir in the bed and looked around.
"We'll have you moved up to my office from the accountant's pen on Monday morning, Craig. OK?"
"Sure, fine," I answered, surprised at how low and thin my voice was. It was what I had been angling for. It was why, when he suggested we go for a drink after the meeting we'd been in and the bar had turned out to be in the lobby of this hotel--where Jared had already booked a room--I had not raised any objection. I'd just gone where he said to go and let him do what he wanted to do.
I was getting what I wanted. So was Jared, one of several vice presidents in the accounting firm I'd been sent to on temporary assignment from the firm's Chicago branch. I'd known from the first day we met that he would want to bed me. That was his reputation, and I'd gotten those looks even in the Chicago office. With his looks and position I assumed he could get what he wanted. I hadn't defended against him getting me. I knew as soon as I found the bar was in a hotel where this would lead if that was his intent.
That was a lie, of course, I knew as soon as he suggested going for a drink. No, I knew a week before when he first mentioned that he was looking around for a new assistant and wanted to hire internally and asked me if I was wedded to my position in the Chicago office. He'd given me "that look" then. He knew I was ambitious.
I'd been so sure that I'd found a sex shop, bought a dildo, and had been preparing myself for what surely was to come. It's probably a good thing I had done that.
He seemed so sure that he could have me. But he didn't know everything about me.
"Are you OK?" he asked. "You are OK with this, aren't you? You didn't seem... all there, with it."
I was fighting the pain, I thought, and finality of it. An hour ago I was a virgin to men. Now I'm not. "Yes, sure," I answered. "Just a little nervous, in Hong Kong and all that." Not even I knew what Hong Kong had to did with it. But he didn't pursue that.
"But it hurt, didn't it?" he asked. "It's not because I'm really big, is it, because, unfortunately, I'm not. That was your first time, wasn't it?"
"Yes, my first time," I answered in a small voice.
"I'll admit that I thought so. That's why I didn't bother with a condom. After today, we'll use condoms. You've gotten across a threshold now, so I guess you'll be doing it with other guys and a condom would be advisable."
After today. I shuddered. Well, of course, there would be many "after today's." I had known I would do this for men--that I'd use my looks to get ahead in the business. And I knew Jared Bradford enough by now that he wouldn't do anything for me or anyone else without getting something for it.
"You wouldn't mind me going with other guys?"
"Not as long as you give me priority. It was nice, though. That you let me be first. You were a sweet lay. You'll be great the more we do it."
The more we do it. I shuddered.
"And I'll be more careful about it next time. The first couple of times will hurt, but with each time, there will be more pleasure and less pain."
The next time. When would the next time be? Oh, of course.
He was stubbing his cigarette out in an ashtray on a bureau next to the window, and striding back to the bed, holding his erection in one hand.
He really was a handsome, fit man for his forties. I wanted to get ahead in the office. I'd give him whatever he wanted.
"You'll be good to me, won't you? Now knowing how new it is for me."
"Oh, yes, Craig. I'll be very good to you. And you'll be good to me too. You've got a great body. Raise your tail. Show me your hole."
Of course. That was what was important. His pleasure. I did find his bold talk arousing, though.
My legs were still spread and bent, my feet flat on the mattress, from the first time. He climbed onto the bed and came down on his knees between my thighs. Taking my thighs, one after the other, in hand, he kissed the inner surface of each before hooking my ankles on his shoulders.
"Going to do you good, baby."
Putting the bulb of his cock into position, pressing into my hole, he moved his hands underneath me, grasping, separating, and lifting my buttocks.
I panted and groaned and moaned as he entered me slowly again. It hurt. Oh, god it hurt. But not as badly as the first time, and now I could get the hint of the pleasure it could be, of the arousal of fusing with a man--a good-looking, fit, powerful man like the English Hong Kong firm VP Jared Bradford--of how it could help me career wise.
I arched my back, gripped his biceps, and rocked my pelvis against his, murmuring, "Yes, yes, fuck me good," as, reaching depth inside me, he began to slowly plow me, loose skin sliding on steel shaft of unsheathed cock, being careful for as long as he could, until he lost control and fucked with more insistence and vigor, fucking me fast and deep. Writhing under him, taking it hard, deep, fast, insistently--to an explosion.
His pleasure. It was all about his pleasure. At some point it didn't matter about mine. It was about him getting off good.
I cried out through the pain, "Oh, shit, yes. You're so big. Screw the hell out of me."