I grew up in a small Midwestern town of about five thousand people. It wasn't a good place to be different, and I was definitely different. I always had been. Even when I was younger I liked more girly things. I didn't like to play sports, or cars and I didn't like to get dirty. After puberty, I was really different. I had absolutely nothing in common with other guys my age. Instead of becoming muscular and strong, I stayed thin, and became even more swishy, with a feminine walk and high pitched voice. I did make friends with a goth girl named Jessica, and began hanging with that crowd, and adopted their style. I grew my hair long, dyed it black, and wore skinny jeans and t-shirts that were a size too small. I also got my ears pierced, and occasionally wore make-up and painted my nails. This of course brought much ridicule from the jocks and the rednecks, and they all assumed I was queer. My new nicknames became Pussy, and Faggot.
They were correct about my sexuality. I did like girls, and found them attractive, but I also liked guys. I liked watching gay porn, and found myself curious to bottom. Something about it was very arousing. I began to touch my ass while jerking off, then began fingering myself. I really wanted to act on my desires, to be with a guy and feel him inside of me, but I had no idea how to meet a guy. I didn't even tell anyone about my desires, except for Jessica. So I just kept my thoughts to myself, fantasizing and hoping I would meet a guy soon. Then, between my Sophomore and Junior year, a hot skater with shaggy blonde hair named Nathan moved to town.
Nathan was from Dallas, where he had been getting into some trouble, so unfortunately for him, his mother had sent him here to live with his Dad. We quickly hit it off, and Him, Me, And Jessica soon became best friends. Jessica's brother would buy us beer, and we would all three sneak off into the woods to drink and smoke weed. He was a cool guy, and we loved his stories about the scene in Dallas.
One night, after a few beers, Nathan confessed that he was bisexual, and I sucked his cock. It felt wonderful, better than I imagined. I loved pleasing him, and making him cum, and I started doing it often. At first he would return the favor, but after a while it was just me sucking him. I didn't mind that at all. I loved giving, but wasn't all that into receiving. Soon after that, we fucked for the first time. It hurt bad, but I did really enjoy having him inside of me, and making him cum. We did it more often, and it became very pleasurable for me. It felt so natural, getting fucked by him. He was muscular and masculine, and I was weak and feminine. He began to get a little more dominant, talking dirty and slapping my ass like the studs did in porn. I began borrowing Jessica's lingerie, and dressing sexy for him. I loved looking sexy, especially in stockings and panties. And when we were together, I loved the dynamic between us. He was the man in the relationship, and I was the woman. It felt right to me, and so natural, as if this was what I was meant to be. I was extremely happy when he was giving me his long, skinny cock.
Then one day, our senior year, his father came home, and caught us in the basement. Needless to say, he wasn't very happy catching his son fucking a boy who was dressed in purple stockings,and freaked out. He told my parents, who weren't happy, but weren't at all surprised. We continued to see each other, but it became difficult, as Nathan's Dad didn't allow me in their house anymore.
One evening, we snuck off to the lake, with a twelve pack of beer and a little weed. It was spring, just a month away from graduation, and we were both eighteen. After some skinny dipping in the cold water, we decided we needed to warm up. We built a fire, sat around it but naked, and shared a joint. Nathan sat on a stump, and in the fire light his long, skinny cock looked delicious. Soon I was on my knees, moving my head up and down as he sat back and enjoyed my mouth. "Fuck, that feels so good!" He said, making me feel proud. I sucked him for awhile, then he bent me over the picnic table, and took my ass. It had been awhile since we had fucked, and his long cock felt awesome sliding into me. While he pounded away at me, I jerked off, cumming very quickly. Then I grabbed the sides of the table, and held on, enjoying the feeling of my man's dick. He didn't last long, and with a deep groan, he came inside of me, then pulled out. I stood up and he pushed me against the table, and gave me a deep kiss.
"Fuck I love you." I said when our lips parted.
"I love you too." He replied. But his frown told me something was wrong. "Um, there's something I have to tell you."
Oh no, I thought to myself. "What's up?" I asked.
"Um, well, um, I joined the Army."
"You did what?" I yelled. This was in the mid 2000s, and both wars were going full blast. "Are you crazy? You're gonna get yourself killed!"
"Look, my Dad told me after graduation, I had to get out. He is still pissed about catching us. You know how conservative he is. And Mom is a Jesus freak, so she's pissed that I fuck guys. So I can't go there either. I really don't have much of a choice."
"Yeah you do!" I cried. "Let's just leave together. We're eighteen! We can do whatever we want!"
"Dude, I would love to, but we couldn't afford it. We don't have any money. Besides, I've already signed the papers. Two weeks after graduation, I leave."
I was bawling now. I couldn't believe it. I was so in love with this guy, and he was leaving me.
After graduating, we went and got tattoos together. I got three hearts on my ribcage, in rainbow colors, for me, him and Jessica. We fucked a few more times, and then he was gone. I would see him again for several years.
Jessica had received an art scholarship, and at the end of the summer she left for school. So I was now alone, in this hick town. Fortunately, Jessica's school was just a few hours away. Knowing that I would love the judgemental atmosphere, and the alternative music, she invited me to visit. I had a blast, and liked that I could be myself, and nobody cared. On my first visit, I saw a couple of gay guys, and hoped I could soon meet someone. I wanted to move there, but of course I couldn't afford to. But one of Jessica's roommates was moving out in the spring, and her other roommate was ok with me moving in. I just had to hang on for a few awhile.
At home, life had become unbearable. Word had got out that I really did take it in the ass, wore panties, and the rednecks constantly harassed me. "I've got to get out of here!" I cried to Jessica on the phone.
"You should come visit this weekend." She said. "One of the bars is doing a drag show, amd it's all ages. You'll love it."
"Ok!" I agreed. It sounded awesome. I was fascinated with drag, and hoped to one day perform. I couldn't wait to check it out.
Friday finally rolled around, and I was stressing about what to wear. I fussed around, and put on a black and purple thong. Then a pair of very tight skinny jeans, and a tight t-shirt that exposed my stomach, and my belly button, that I had recently pierced. I accessorized with a studded belt, studded bracelet and red Doc Marten boots. Then I hit the highway, with the music blasting. About an hour into the trip, I had to pee, and pulled into a rest stop. As I walked to the restroom door, a large black man came walking out. As we passed each other, I heard him say, "Damn boy!" It didn't sound malicious or threatening at all, and it dawned on me that he was checking me out. I smiled, enjoying the attention. As I was doing my business, the door opened and I heard someone walk in. I finished and zipped up, then turned around to see the man standing there smiling.
