Adrian's back in the office after four days not smoking, with a promise of getting a blow-job from Dan on Saturday if he keeps it up.
***
I get up a bit later on the Thursday, to avoid the rush hour. It's not that the crowds are much less after nine, but they're sure a lot less stressed about it. I'm all suited and booted to meet these arsehole clients.
Izzy is delighted to see me. It is a crying shame, really, me being old enough to be her da, but I'm never letting her know that. Not beyond the odd dad-like compliment, that sort of thing.
"Morning! Nice tie, Ade! Your meeting's not til one, so plenty of time to deal with these questions. And Sam wants you and Naz to decide how you want to deal with this new project, who's going to lead. He'll see you at eleven. Then the cladding firm what you told to get stuffed last year, they're back, they want to show you something new, that's at three. How're you doing?"
Girl has her head to one side, all sympathetic. She means, how are my withdrawal symptoms.
"Better than the first three days, I guess? I'm on the patches and the gum." I snap the gum I'm chewing with my tongue and work it into a wee bubble. It does rather show off my oral dexterity more than I'd choose to, normally, in the office. Ah, well. At least Izzy just laughs.
I get tea, switch my computer on. Naz comes in and pointedly asks if I want a cuppa, which he doesn't, normally. The second time this happens, I realise - he's sneaking back in from his fag break, but doesn't want me to feel left out. Izzy's clearly had words. I'm kinda charmed.
It's coming up to eleven, and I could really do with a smoke before Naz and I meet Sam. Arse. I push off to the gents, instead. Which reminds me of Dan's suggestion.
No-one's in the other cubicle, so I have my slash, then sit down to distract myself. If only I could suck my own cock! I could, just about, when I was a teenager. Not well enough to enjoy it, just as a party piece. I remember Laura being impressed it wasn't an urban myth... so I suppose she
has
seen my cock before.
I take myself in hand and start to rub one out. The images that form before my eyes are of gombeens in green - British Army lads, hanging around, bored... Bet Dan would have looked well fit in uniform, rifle hanging on his hip.
I choke the sounds of my coming into a cough, as someone opens the door. Right, time to sort out this new project...
It's a fun meeting, actually - Naz is a good guy, and between us we've got more than enough capacity and experience, so we come up with plans and Sam chips in as and when. Come lunchtime, Gary and Kerry don't quite frog-march me to the sarnie shop and back, but it's a close thing, sitting together back in the office to eat. I wouldn't have believed it, but even tuna mayo tastes better than usual.
Sam tells me, before the client meeting, that their head honcho is a chain smoker. So after a while, I'm fine to get the gum out and extract sympathy. Encouraged, even. This is why Sam's the boss - he knows how to play people. Luckily, his idea of playing me is to tell me he's seen my references dating back a decade, and if my performance is in any danger of becoming like the earlier rather than the latter ones, he wants to be the first to know. And then insist we have dinner, every couple months.
First time, I was scared it was a seduction thing. But he really is simply a people person. There's ten of us in the firm, so that's one night a week he's devoting to us. His wife has some hobby, that night. He knows I'm queer - don't know who told him, but he knew and told me he did at my final interview.
"Up to you if you tell the crew, son, but I would if I were you. It'll make you more relaxed. Now, I do prefer my employees stay on the right side of the law - since 2003 that shouldn't be too difficult as far as
that's
concerned, but if you ever find yourself in a spot of bother, for any reason, I want to know. Even before your brief does."
Me not having the sense I was born with, I told him, "Seeing as you only get one phone call when arrested, which kinda has to be to your solicitor if you don't want to be fobbed off with their duty one, that could be a problem."
He eyed me, like a hawk debating the potential taste of a rodent for dinner. That moment went on forever, keeping me in suspense. Finally, quietly, the big guy goes, "If you have a good brief of your own, they can call me.
Most
of my staff appreciate having an expert lawyer appointed for them."
I've fair scunnered myself there, beetroot in the cheeks, when he laughed and said, "You're hired, by the way."
"You bastard." Eejit that I am, I hadn't even signed a contract yet.
He just grinned. "Yep, and don't you forget it. The important thing is, I'm a
rich
bastard now on
your
side."
He's got no kids. I guess we're like family to him.
While we're waiting for the clients, I mention Izzy to him and how we don't want to lose her. He's on it already, course he is. She's starting an Access course this month; if that goes well, she'll have to decide whether she wants to do Engineering full time or some other subject, but she'll still be working for us a few hours a week, whatever. I'm glad.
Two years ago, I wouldn't have given a shit about her or anyone else. Guess time is the grand healer, and all.
Hotshot CEO of the client is not a happy bunny. He goes over all my conclusions, and I quietly explain the reasoning behind all of them, until his chief engineer is nodding sadly in agreement by his side. The CEO's starting to get tetchy. I recognise the signs - he needs a fag. At least I'd been used to managing a couple hours at a time - and now, on day five! Who'da thunk?
Sam kicks my ankle. I get out the gum, apologise for chewing, but I'm in the early days of quitting, and leave the packet visible on the table. Ah, that is better. Twitchy becomes even less happy, and Sam goes in for the kill.
Five minutes later, they'll accept our recommendations for twenty percent increase in cost, and of course pay us extra for the work we'll have to do refining the spec for the builders.
Result. Twitchy signs on the dotted line and seems relieved to be able to escape.
Sam gives me an ironic high-five. "Pub, later?"
"I can't, this day - I'm going to friends for dinner. We're pubbing tomorrow, though. Izzy's organising. All part of the 'chaperoning Adrian so he can't smoke' plan."
"Good for you. Any particular reason you're doing it now?"
"Not that I'd like to share, no."
I can practically see his mind jumping to the conclusion I'm doing it for a new shag, or for someone I'm hoping to have a ride of.
Which is, I suppose, accurate.
I'm quite cheerful when I wander back to the Tube to head to Will and Lindsey's. I picked up some presents for the wee'uns on my way to work, but now I add a couple bottles. Good guest, me.
"Uncle Aidy!" Small boy jumps on me at the door. "Lookee! There's a tranner-saurus and a steggy-saurus and a dippy-docus!" He waves his colourful magazine in my face and I sit down to feign interest in whatever series these lurid dinosaur characters are from. Thankfully, Jack soon runs off to find some other item to show me. His wee sister is toddling round, shaking in disgust the baby-fence that's preventing her from reaching Will in the kitchen.
Lindsey grins at me. "Pass us some teas, love," she says to Will, who is doing complex multi-saucepan cooking. He likes showing off his skills, does our Will.
"I'll get Rosie up to bed. Can you mind Jack a bit, Ade, while Will gets the food ready?"
"No problem, Linz." Jack is happily poking his toy laptop. Good to start them young. He's less happy about going to bed in his turn, but I read him a story - different dinosaurs, clearly that phase - and then he waves me goodnight.
Lindsey returns, her usual composure a bit frazzled. There's a ceremonial opening of the gate into the kitchen, and I sit where I'm told. Water with the meal, then I'll move to the spirits. Linz makes herself a G&T with the gin I brought her.
Will plonks a casserole dish in the middle of the table, then three more dishes. It looks great and smells better.
"More? Help yourself to the greens." It's all good. I've about cleared my plate when Will mentions, "Go out the back when you need to go out - the arse across the street complains about loiterers out front."
Time to tell them. "No need. I've quit."
