I'm not sure if straight people could ever truly understand how it feels to wake up next to a warm manly body as a gay guy raised in the often times sexually repressive South. It comes with a nearly debilitating mixture of contradictions in the extreme: joy, lust, thankfulness, and peace wrestling with abject terror and the desire to run before things turn ugly, as we are nearly conditioned to expect that they will. It was a sad state of affairs that I felt these things as the morning dawned on our second day in Boston, but luckily I was able to suppress the negativity and bask in my small but growing optimism towards whatever was happening with Daniel.
As my wispy, unremembered dreams began to fade into nothingness and my mind returned to normalcy, I felt Daniel's warmness pressed into me, holding me tightly to his chest, his muscled arm thrown over me as if he would never loosen.
I didn't want him to.
I shifted myself a bit, working sore muscles as I pushed myself into him, dissolving into his embrace, unsure if he would waken and this living dreamscape I'd found myself at the center of would come crashing down around my ears. I laced my fingers through his own and pulled our hands to my chest, holding them over my heart and feeling it beat through our embrace, keeping time. It seemed to be counting down the seconds, a ticking clock beating out the coming end to my bliss with unforgiving fierceness.
That level of true happiness melded with apprehension is a rare thing, as I've come to realize as I got older, but even then I grasped the uniqueness and tried to float on the high.
My eyes were just adjusting to the grayish morning light of our room when I felt Daniel begin to stir behind me. His hips pressed into the bare skin of my ass and he made a soft sound of pleasure, like a cat waking from a summertime nap on the windowsill. Though I couldn't see his face, I imagined that he wore a smile of contentment to match my own.
At least, I hoped he did.
My body responded to his slight movements without thought, pressing back against his morning hardness and slowly grinding into him, seeking to remain as close as this, or closer for as long as I could.
Our fingers were still locked together, held to my chest as my breathing began to regulate. I expected him to disentangle himself and for this secret moment together to end when he did; but, instead, he pulled me closer and pressed his face to my hair, breathing me in deeply and sighing, his chest expanding as he too stretched his muscles. I shivered when I felt the power of him begin to awaken behind me, the corded strength of him as he readied his lithe body for the day to come.
Daniel must have felt my trembling; he guided our interlocked hands over the pale skin my chest and down my stomach, gliding smoothly over our hips.
"Morning," he said groggily, his voice blessedly absent of the shock and fear I'd come to expect. "Are you cold?"
He pulled the covers around us more tightly and snuggled even closer to me, his hard cock finding a spot between my ass cheeks, unconsciously humping into me.
I couldn't help but moan at the contact.
"Morning," I whispered through the escalating pleasure, trying to keep it from my tone. "How'd you sleep?"
"Like the dead," he said, his lips at my ear, softly kissing my neck, driving rational thought from my body, a jolt of electricity working down my spine and all the way to my toes. He guided our hands over my hips towards my very obvious hard cock.
"Glad to be awake now."
I felt a small twinge of loss when he unwound his fingers from mine, but only for the time it took him to grasp my shaft in the warmth of his palm and tug gently on my length. His lips kissed the back of my neck and my hand reached behind me to press his head to my skin.
He continued to work my cock in his grasp, twisting and pulling, using his thumb to gather and disperse the precum that began to leak from me. His lips still traversed the soft skin of my neck and ears, dialing up my nerves in succinct intervals, waking the most dormant parts of me. I wanted him so badly I thought I would burst with it. He gracefully moved himself from behind me and gave me the space to fall onto my back as he rose on one elbow to get a better angle.
For the first time today, I met his gaze. As if it was the first time I'd ever seen him, I was rocked by what lay behind his eyes. Passion and lust were there, to be sure, burning brightly. But beneath that, lurking in the deep dark places, something else. Something I could only describe as caring.
No! I couldn't...wouldn't...allow myself to think like that.
He pressed his face to my neck again, never slowing his pace on my dick with his increasingly skilled fingers. A few more sessions like this and Daniel's skill could very well have surpassed my own.
My touch danced over the smooth skin of his strong shoulders as he moved down, past my collar bones, licking and kissing at the pale skin of my chest. He took my nipple in his mouth and my back arched, which only served to drive him on, my body betraying my desires to his observant nature.
"Daniel," I moaned, my hand coming to the back of his head, feeling the soft prickles of his hair against my skin.
"Shhhh. Let me." His voice was a deep growl, masculine and controlling but devoid of violence.
I had no real choice but to give in and let him do to me whatever he pleased. I couldn't have been more willing to give up that control. Something in Daniel brought that out in me. When he touched me, I lost the need to be the master of my own form. I simply allowed myself to be...to be touched and manipulated, twisted and prodded in ways I never would have sanctioned normally.
Daniel's lips on my hip bones sent my pelvis to the ceiling, fucking myself in his grip. It was beautiful torture and I rode it as best I could. Daniel looked up at me through his long, dark lashes, his brown eyes just beginning to catch the dawning light and gleaming with hints of amber and gold, catching my ice-blue gaze. The things that can be communicated in a stare like that far outweigh anything actual speech can accomplish.
'Let me, I need to do this. I desire this. Please,' he seemed to beg.
His tongue on my cock as his mouth closed over my sensitive head nearly sent me to the moon. Heat and wetness flooded me, every nerve focused like a laser on my cock. He twirled his tongue around my rim, reveling in it, increasing and decreasing speed and pressure as if he'd been doing this for years. All the while, his eyes searched my face.
Slowly, he bobbed his head up and down my shaft. First one inch and then two dematerialized down his throat until he had half of me ensconced inside him. He made satisfied groans despite his full mouth, rumbling from deep in his chest as he adjusted himself so he was kneeling between my thighs. His strong hands spread my legs with ease and held them there against my uncontrollable trembling.
"Ahhh, that's incredible. Don't stop."
My voice sounded strange to my own ears, almost as if someone else was urging him on, someone outside of my body. Daniel's hips waved back and forth in the open air, the rounded curves of his ass outlined in the gloom behind us as he forced me deeper and deeper into him until he eventually hit that place where reflex took control and he gagged. He pulled off, not missing the chance to use his tongue on the ticklish skin under my cock head, swallowed hard, and caught his breath.
"I want to...," he panted, his hips wiggling and waving behind him. The desire in his tone was unaffected and apparent, the question lurking just beneath. He needed me to guide him.
"Relax, concentrate on breathing through your nose, and don't force it. Pretend like you are swallowing, focus on each muscle and push your reflexes to the back of your mind."
The instruction was all I could think to give, meager as it was, but Daniel seemed to take it as gospel and dove back onto my tool with gusto, easily taking me to the same distance as before. He toiled slowly at first, but soon I felt another bit of me wrapped in the heat of his mouth.
"Oh, fuck," I groaned, my hands coming to the sides of his head, doing all in my power not to force him down to the root. Within a minute, I felt his breath against the skin of my pelvis, coming quick and hot.
