Still You Want Me

Thanks for all the positive feedback! It's been a delight to see my story come to life.

If you haven't read chapter one and two I'd recommend it before moving forward.

Again, big thanks to LaRascasse and Oldnakeddad for editing and advising! I am smarter than a 5th grader (or so it appears).

(This is a work of fiction and all characters are over the age of 18.)

Enjoy the show! And don't forget to vote.

* * COLIN * *

It's date night. Until tonight, this hasn't been a recurring theme in my life, but it's happening, regardless.

Oh, my god! Okay, it's happening!

I can't help but smile. If Charlie were here, he'd understand my reference. Imagining Michael Scott running around the office in a panic during a fake fire is cracking me up, it so closely represents my life right now.

I mean, I don't normally spend a lot of time on appearance, but I've been pacing like a madman, my bed is full of clothes that haven't made the cut and I'm still standing in my boxers.

I finally settle on a pair of tight dark-grey jeans, black V-neck, and a dark, olive-green sweater.

Honestly? I still don't feel good about it.

I stare at myself in the mirror. Nondescript, that's what I see staring back. I run gel through my thick brown hair, hoping it won't get out of control later. I adjust my shirt and sweater, trying hard to make everything's presentable.

Shit. I almost forgot deodorant, again! Get it together, Colin

.

Since I don't live far from the restaurant and I don't want to pay for parking, I grab a blazer and decide to walk.

Dating hasn't been a wildly successful adventure for me in the past, so I'm feeling very nervous. I know the fresh air, and a few minutes alone, will be beneficial to my mental health.

Portland is beautiful in the evenings. I love the hustle and bustle of downtown and all of the different people coexisting so close together. The weather is cool and dry, making the walk enjoyable and helping to keep clammy hands and sweaty armpits at bay.

I reach the lobby a few minutes early. I don't want to be one of those people who plays on their phone all of the time, so I decide to read the fliers hanging on the bulletin boards in the lobby.

That's what I'm doing when I sense someone is approaching me. I turn around and I'm instantly paralyzed. Standing before me is every gay man's walking wet dream.

Everything about him is bigger than me: he's a few inches taller; he has beautiful, wide shoulders; arms that are sculpted with precision; blonde hair; blue eyes; and perfect teeth. His navy sweater is deliciously tight and shows off his tapered waist.

Oh, the fantasies.

I'm going to have his babies.

"Wow, you're beautiful!"

Oh, god. I can't believe I said that to him! Wait,

I

didn't say it.

He

said it to

me!

That's an interesting turn of events.

"I'm sorry, Colin, that was inappropriate. I wasn't expecting...

this

!"

He gestures to all of me and I laugh.

"Jesse, I think you're delirious with hunger. I should get you upstairs before I have to throw you back."

I nod for him to lead the way to the elevator. I notice his small waist leads to a perfect, muscular ass and thighs.

Oh, so many inappropriate thoughts.

The elevator's full of people so we don't say much. We do, however, share a lot of goofy smiles and quick glances which make me feel giddy and nervous. At least he isn't looking at me as if he's regretting this blind date. As we approach the hostess, Jesse and I each hold two fingers up and speak to her simultaneously.

"Two for Kroft."

"Two for Clarke."

His blue eyes are sparkling with laughter and the hostess laughs with us.

"What you guys did is the funniest thing I've seen all week. I can honestly say I've never had this happen. Which is it? Two for Kroft or Clarke?"

Jesse doesn't miss a beat.

"How about one of each?"

I smile. He's cute

and

funny. She walks us to a window table. This view will never get old and Jesse is surprised.

"Wow!"

He stares at the panoramic view of the city.

"This is incredible! How have I never eaten here before? I don't care what the food's like, this view is amazing!"

His blonde hair looks freshly cut, short on the sides, but longer on top. He has it styled back and it looks amazing, I imagine his morning bedhead is incredibly sexy. I could stare at him all night, but I don't think it'd be appropriate, so I try to start a conversation with him as it'll be less awkward.

"Tell me about yourself."

He looks at me with his sultry narrow blue eyes.

"Oh, man. That's such a loaded question. Think about it, there's no parameters to guide me. I could talk about anything. I could start with something normal, such as my birthdays, or talk for hours about the way the cut on my leg healed, or tell you about every hangnail I've ever had. You need to give me some direction here."

His lip curls, revealing a mischievous side. He's smart, funny, and he just broke the ice.

"You're right, I've never thought about it like that. Let's start with the generics: college, job, family, and three things you're looking forward to during the next year."

Our waiter arrives, explains the specials, and takes our order.

"Okay. College, job, family, and three things I'm looking forward to."

He's carefully thinking.

"I'm from Seattle so I stayed in state and went to the University of Washington. I majored in business, with a minor in public relations. After graduating, I obtained a great job with Nike. I help make Nike look awesome by giving away money, goods, and services. I also plan lots of events for Nike and I get to meet amazing people. Those are all things I love to do anyway, but now I'm getting paid for doing it.

My family. Well, my parents are Joe and Jackie Kroft. I have three older sisters (Jill, Jamie, and Jane), and two younger sisters (Joy and Jenna)."

I don't know what expression my face has, but he notices it and laughs.

"Yeah, I know. Try living it! It wasn't easy, but now that we're older, it's a lot more fun. My parents were very

busy

, if you know what I mean. I'm twenty-seven, my oldest sister is thirty-one, and my youngest sister is twenty-three. The J thing is ridiculous! I'll never do that to my kids."

He laughs.

"That's insane, I can't even imag..."

He throws his hand up, cutting me off.

"I haven't finished, yet. You have to wait your turn!"

He's teasing me and I like it.

"Three things I'm looking forward to. Well, this fall, I'm going to Brazil for two weeks, the next season of This Is Us should be a real tear jerker, and don't judge me, but this date with you."

I think he's being sincere, which makes my skin flush. Thank God I have my mom's Greek genes and not my dad's pale-white complexion.

"And you?"

He's crossing his arms with his elbows on the table, leaning slightly forward, and is completely focused on me.

"I grew up here, in Portland, but I went to Columbia University on the East Coast. I have a master's in both business and marketing and a minor in accounting. I'm an associate in the marketing department at Clark-Co."

He rolls his eyes.

Obviously, Colin

.

"I love marketing because there's so much strategy involved and so many ways to think outside of the box. Nothing is impossible! Things change so fast, we constantly need to adapt and I love that challenge.

My parents live here in Portland, obviously. I have no siblings, so having six kids is something I can't wrap my brain around! To be honest, I'm a little jealous because, during most of my childhood, I'd wished I had siblings."

I sip my water without breaking eye contact. He's so attractive I don't want to look away.

"Three things I'm looking forw..."

Suddenly, I feel a hand squeeze my shoulder and hear someone's voice.

"Hey!"

I look up and see Charles hovering over me, flanked by another blonde who'd be considered a twink. I'm not expecting to run into anyone I know while on a blind date.

There's something awkward about introducing your blind date to your friends. What if the date doesn't work out? I'd rather crash and burn and not get asked about it on Monday. I introduce them anyway because I don't have a choice.

Charles introduces me to Ryan, who works on the same floor as we do, but in a different department. At first, I think they might be on a date, but it turns out Ryan has a boyfriend that will most likely be meeting them soon.

Besides saying hello to Jesse and introducing Ryan and I, Charles doesn't say a whole lot. He mainly observes us and is quick to leave when they realize their hostess is waiting for them. It's for the best because I don't want my blind date to turn into a group thing.

I want him for myself.

"Sorry, about that, Jesse. Honestly, I wasn't expecting to see anyone I know."

He assures me it's no big deal. The rest of the evening is easy. Conversation is light and fun, dinner is delicious and the view is amazing!

Portland looks good, too.

The bill comes and I'm not sure how to proceed. We both made reservations which means we both intended to pay for dinner. I figure I should be direct.

"How do you want to do this, Jesse?"

"Am I wrong to assume we were both planning on paying for dinner?"

I nod in agreement while smiling at the situation.

"Well, I was thinking. Maybe you could pay for tonight?"

"Absolutely."

Normally, this behavior would leave me feeling annoyed. Will I always be expected to pay?

"It's just, well, I'd really like to go out with you, again."

Omg, He's nervous.

"Colin, if you know I'm going to pay next time, I'm hoping you'll feel more inspired to agree to a second date?"

He smiles, but it's obvious he's worried I might say no.

Me, say no to him? Ha!

"I'd go on a second date with you even if you didn't pay."

I instantly regret saying that. For one, it makes me look desperate. Also, I don't want to open the door to any thought of me being okay with always paying. I'm super frustrated with myself.

He exhales the breath he's been holding and smiles.

"Oh, good! If there's any dates after next time, we can trade off. I like to keep things on a level playing field, if that's okay?"

Yes. One hundred times, yes.

With that cleared up, I pay the bill. The night is young, it's only eight o'clock, and I don't want to go home, yet. It's been a while since I've been out for pleasure and I'm enjoying my time with Jesse.

"Jesse, are you in a hurry to get home?" I raise my brow, waiting for his response.

"It depends on where you're going with this." He raises his brow in response.

"I'd like to go dancing."

He doesn't hold back his excitement, which instantly fills me with joy.

"Hell, yes! Do you have a specific place in mind?"

"Yes and no."

He laughs at my response before I continue.

"There's a club down the street. I think tonight's theme is Throwback Bump N Grind. It's stupid, I know, but I love dancing and I love throwbacks."

"It's not stupid at all, it sounds like a lot of fun. Shall we go?"

He

wants to hang out with

me

.

We grab our jackets and my legs almost give out when Jesse puts one hand on the small of my back. It's both romantic and intimate, yet, totally innocent.

I notice Charles is still eating with Ryan and Ryan's boyfriend, Quinn, and he glances up as we're leaving, so I smile and wave goodbye.

* * CHARLES * *

Well this is brutal. I don't want to stare at them all night, I swear, but I need to see what's happening. Quinn lightly kicks my leg under the table.

"Charles, stop. You're being so obvious."

As I reply, I glance at Colin's table.

"You don't know what you're talking about."

Smooth.

Quinn leans forward and quietly yells at me.

"Seriously! You need to pull yourself together. You've been staring over there all evening and your face is so full of contempt, it's starting to affect my mood."

I roll my eyes before Quinn continues while swirling his wine around in its glass.

"I know you pride yourself with your

easy come, easy go

love life, but it's okay to like someone."

"I don't like him. I didn't even know he was gay until today."

This is half true and Ryan corrects me.

"You

do

like him and you're frustrated because you've been in the dark for two weeks. Now that you know, you should do something about it."

"Am I the only one that see's

blondie god

over there? They've been ogling each other all night."

I wave them off as I have no chance. Ryan looks at me with possibility.

"Who knows, maybe there's no chemistry between them."

"It's not a big deal. He's only a friend who, I think, is funny, sweet, authentic, and cute."

What am I trying to convince them of again?

Quinn firmly interjects.

"No! Colin isn't cute, he's hot! Those eyes! Sheesh, his lashes are so thick and long, they're like natural eyeliner. His body is lean and hard and his boyish charm makes him instantly approachable. He's so innocent, it hurts!"

Quinn's eyes are suddenly glossy from thinking about Colin.

"Maybe, but he's only a friend."

Ryan and Quinn simultaneously reply.

"You're an idiot!"

I see Colin and Jesse get up and notice Jesse has his hand on Colin's lower back as they leave. Gah.

"You know what will make things better? Bump N Grind night down at the Roof Drop. Frank is DJing so the music's going to have tons of old school stuff. You can find a hot little thing, get freaky on the floor, and then take him home and finish him off."

Hmm, having someone to make me forget about Colin, the date he's on, all the smiling and laughing, and the way Jesse was touching Colin when they left isn't the worst idea They've ever heard.

Two drinks later, we're making our way to the Roof Drop. The place is pretty packed when we arrive, the music's loud, and the light show is insane. A table miraculously becomes free so Ryan and Quinn snatch it while I buy us a round of drinks and take a few minutes to scope the place out. I need a good lay of the land so I can get a feel for what's happening and I see a handful of potential options. Tonight might be okay, after all.

The song Culo (by Pitbull) is playing. I sit the drinks down at the table and continue scoping out the bar when I notice Quinn is gawking toward the dance floor behind me.

"Holy shit!"

It doesn't take Ryan long to see what has Quinn's attention.

"Oh, shit! That's hot as fuck. Charles, I think we found something hot on the dance floor."

I'm curious so I turn around. It takes me a minute, because the dance floor is packed, then I see it.

"Oh, shit..."

There's nothing else to say. I wish the sentence, "Colin and Jesse are dancing", was as innocent as it sounds, but it isn't.

Quinn speaks out, "Charles, I'm not trying to be insensitive or anything, but they

definitely

have chemistry. I bet the sex is going to be amazing!" He sings the last word.

Fuck you, Quinn.

He looks at me and continues.

"Three things: One, Colin's body is like liquid fire. Damn, that white boy can move; two, we're currently watching the prerequisite for sex, really really hot sex, and three, you're an idiot!"

Ryan can't peel his eyes away, either, but has a question for me.

"How did you

not

know he's gay?"

"I don't know. He didn't correct me when we talked about dating, so it was easy to assume he's straight."

I'm about to tell them Colin knows I'm gay, but didn't say anything to me, never looked at me with lust, and never tried to make an advance toward me. The one person I actually like, apparently has zero interest in me, but I decide against sharing that bit of information.

I need a medic for this crash and burn.

I don't want to watch, but I continue to stare as Colin, with his back against

Blondie's

chest, does some sort of erotic rain dance. There isn't one part of his body that's not at work, moving in a perfect, seductive, and musical rhythm.

Blondie

has his palms flat on Colin's lower hips, making sure Colin's perfect round ass is pressed tightly to his crotch.

I realize this is the first time I've seen Colin dressed in anything other than work clothes. He's wearing a black, V-neck shirt and dark-grey pants. Everything is so tight, I'm finally able to see a glimpse of the nice body I always assumed he has. I don't need to assume anymore! Nothing about him is overly bulky, but his arms are nicely toned and his stomach is tight and flat.

Jesse's wearing a white V-neck that doesn't hide anything. This guy is a living, breathing, and walking Adonis. I can see every muscle rippling through his shirt as he dances. His light features and light clothes contrast against Colin's dark features and dark clothes, making them a frustratingly perfect pair.

I can't help but feel a spike of jealousy as they continue to dance with a perfect, seductive, rhythm which is making everyone else on the floor look like amateurs. Ryan and Quinn are fixated on my nightmare.

"I'm boning up from only watching them!" Quinn says out of nowhere.

I finally look away. "I can't watch anymore, it's just too..."

Ryan interrupts me then Quinn.

"Hot and erotic!"

"Sexy and boner inducing!"

My friends are so helpful.

Not!

"I was going to say frustrating, but thanks for the adjectives."

Ryan makes a comment without taking his eyes off of them.

"All I know is, you have to get out there. If you don't step in soon, they're going to be a

thing

and you're going to be left outside in the rain."

I finish my drink as I look around and realize everyone else is staring at the duo, also, then I mumble.

"I need another."

They don't hear me because they're too focused on

Blondie

and his bump toy. I go to the bar and I'm sure they don't even know I'm gone.

"Double Bourbon on the rocks."

The bartender nods and gets to work as I see a cutie sitting at the bar. He's not my usual type, but I'm desperate for some company, so I approach him in a direct manner that usually turns guys on.

"I'm Charles."

He looks up and smiles. He has blue eyes and nice features. He'll do. I wonder if I can get him to dance?

"Do you like dancing...?"

I pause, waiting for him to add his name.

"James, and I didn't come out to sit at the bar all night."

He smiles and quickly finishes his drink as the song Candy Shop (by 50 Cent) starts playing.

Ah, memories.

I throw down some cash, grab my drink, and nod for the cutie to follow me. I drop my drink off at the table, but before I can go to the dance floor, Ryan grabs my shirt and pulls me in.

"Charles, be careful. You've had a lot to drink tonight and the choices you make from this point forward are going to prove to Colin what kind of man you are. Don't do anything stupid."

Yeah, well, he's already made his decision.

* * *

James is a good dancer. He's not awkward and he doesn't try too hard. Every time I catch a glimpse of Colin and Jesse, I feel the urge to get closer and grind harder with James. I doubt Colin knows I'm here, but that doesn't stop the grind off in my head.

I want him to be jealous.

Gawd, I sound like a fifteen-year-old girl.

50 Cent turns to Usher then to Ludacris and so on. It's not long before things start heating up between us. We're facing each other and connecting at every possible point, particularly the erections we're

not

trying to hide. I nip his earlobe and get a nice reaction. A nip turns to a lick and the next thing I know, we're devouring each other and trying to make babies on the dance floor. James has fire in his eyes and motions toward the back of the room.