This is a true story. The details are all pretty accurate.
I had been going through a rough break-up a few years ago. My girlfriend at the time was a pretty severe alcoholic who's drinking was only getting worse. She was extremely abusive and I got into a really depressed headspace thinking I was going to fix her and us only to consistently and constantly fail miserably. We were at that weird breakup stage where we'd breakup every week, and not talk for a week or two, then get back together for a day or so before repeating the entire process over again. This vicious cycle kept up for almost 2 years.
To cope, I started drinking alone at night. I now realize how unhealthy this was. Let's just say I'm in a much better place mentally now then I was then, but I got into some pretty crazy stuff in a desperate attempt to avoid feeling what I was definitely feeling.
I had been increasingly using porn while drinking alone and usually taking Benadryl as well. I found the combination of the two made me really horny and much more willing to engage in potentially risky behaviors without fear of the potential consequences. I do not however, recommend this particular combination of behaviors for literally anyone though.
I should say at this point, my relationship with sex isn't probably representative of what's typical for most of the population. As long as I can remember, I've been obsessed with sex. I've also been very successful in sex, sleeping with pretty much every woman I've ever wanted. I've been blessed with above average looks, and of all my bad habits, bodybuilding isn't one of them. I am 6'2", 245 lbs of lean muscle, great cock. Yes, it's chemically enhanced, but not year round. I know this sounds conceited as hell, and I'm not trying to be, but having a lot of muscle has opened a lot more doors than most people will ever know. I've slept with countless women. All types. I get hit on a lot and always have. It's been great for sex, my sex addiction and the sex toy industry, but it's definitely made me quite lazy and boring in many other aspects by virtue of me not having to try very hard. On the outside, I am very much an alpha male. I'm very lean, very muscular with a history in MMA. Basically, no one that knows me would ever suspect that my sexual kinks extend as far as they do.
I'd had a couple instances when I was younger where with friends, we like experimented playing truth or dare and I once even had a trans chick that blew me when I was 19, but I am grateful that I've never felt like I had to question whether or not I am gay. I definitely prefer women. So thankfully, I didn't have to struggle with any identity crisis type feelings when I started repeatedly getting the urge to suck some cock. In my head, I kind of break it down like this, I like Thai food. But I also don't want to eat Thai food for every meal, everyday.
Anyways, I digress. The point is, my quest for new and exciting kink was escalating. I like pretty much any type of extreme porn, anal, group stuff, fisting, watersports, and trans videos. I was big into gloryhole porn and really got off on the whole anonymous aspect of it. Somehow, one thing leads to another (alcohol plus Benadryl = questionable decisions) and I end up browsing Craigslist personals one night. F4M was about as active as a retirement home after 9 PM so I eventually started browsing T4M sections, before taking the plunge into the M4M. I was amazed at how easy it seemed to be to hookup with a guy. Women are for reals so high maintenance when it comes to hookup culture.
