I shouldn't listen to my daughter's chatter with her friends on her mobile phone, I know, but sometimes she just forgets that somebody else might be listening. But the tale she was telling of her time with her new boyfriend was just too hot to ignore.
I didn't take to Cai from the first time I clapped eyes on him. Although pretty faced, and athletic, he was thin as a beanstalk and had that certain shifty grin plastered all over his face. What's more, I thought he was too old by half for my Siân. After all, she was only 19, and he was all of 30. He was only five years younger than me, for crying out loud.
Siân had been particularly tired for days now, and I'd put it down to her work as a student nurse, but suddenly I understood why. She was telling one of her friends about her gorgeous new guy, but more particularly she was gushing excitedly about his dick.
Amazing, huge, rock hard, she enthused. And he knew how to use it. Like a train steaming on, she warbled, lunging at her ceaselessly and sending her into orbit with multiple orgasm after multiple orgasm. I was dumbstruck.
Not my girl. Not with him. Surely not. I could imagine him boasting to his friends in the bar. Surely she's exaggerating?
After that I was distinctly cool towards Cai. How could he? The dirty fucker.
Yet Siân was so happy, I didn't dare say anything to him about it. In a moment of parental weakness, I even allowed them to stay over.
All night I could hear the bedsprings pounding in the room next door. Siân's groans trilled through the walls time after time that night, oblivious to the fact her father was virtually a witness to her ecstasy. I slept not a wink. How I hated that Cai.
Morning finally came, as surely as Siân had several times during the night, and I heard the door slam shut just as dawn broke as drove off to work.
I got up and wandered into the kitchen in my dressing gown, putting the kettle on. The sound of running water in the bathroom alerted me to the fact that HE was still here. How dare he, washing the effects of his sex with my daughter away in my shower.
I decided to confront him, and marched up the stairs. Opening the bathroom door, I saw his skinny back facing me as he washed himself intensely amid the steam. Too intensely, I thought to myself.
He sensed my presence and turned round. He was slowly jacking himself off, his thumb and forefinger clasped tightly on the most monstrous specimen I'd ever seen. Not even in the washroom after a soccer match had I seen anything like it, and one or two of them had enough to boast about.