I drifted through the night in the easy sleep of the dreamer, content and happy if only for a short time. It was still dark when I woke, the still night air chill against my skin, my head resting on the smooth soft skin of well defined abs. I reveled in the feeling for a time loathe, to move and end the illusion. Slowly, but inevitably, the events of the previous evening trickled into awareness. When I finally opened my eyes I saw only the flaccid shaft of my brothers cock emerging from the small well maintained tuft of blond pubic hair. Staring down at his cock I could almost feel him gushing cum into my throat again.
Guilt.
I shot from bed flooded with panic and shame when it finally came to me. I threw on a shirt and shorts nearly ran down the hall to the bathroom, my feet thudding all too loudly in the pre-dawn emptiness of the house. I brushed my teeth first, the taste of his cum lingering only faintly now, but it nevertheless remained as immediate proof and reminder of last night. It didn't seem to make a difference. I splashed cold water in my face in a somewhat successful attempt to clear my mind. What had I done?
I felt like I was hung-over but without the benefit of having been drunk first. I wanted to be sick, I knew I probably should be, but it never came. This wasn't the first time I'd woken up on a naked body of some description or another, and while it only occasionally caused me some regret, this was different. This time it was my brother. As though it wasn't enough that I had to carry the shame of being bi whenever I returned home to our conservative family. Always hiding behind the tired old facade assembled with the bricks of my parents expectations and a lifetime worth of lies. Now I lay down the foundations for a new wall of lies, only this time the precarious structure would also ruin Kyle should it ever fall. I took advantage of Kyle last night, I preyed upon him and allowed my own lust to consume us both. I had chosen for both of us, I had taken advantage of him, essentially raped him, and it could mean disastrous things for Kyle. Things that would be my fault. I had to contend with the fact that I was some kind of incestuous predator, forever. I knew that from this moment on, I could only ever see him from between his knees, looking up into his eyes as his cock filled me. Nothing would be the same.
What would happen if someone found out? What would our parents think? What would our friends think? We would become pariah, by choice if not by force. Our parents would disown us and we would be cast into the street as perverts, deviants to be tormented and shamed wherever we went. It would be one thing if I was outed, people would understand, maybe even our parents, but this was something entirely different. We'd have to give up our lives and move to somewhere no one knew us, maybe thousands of miles apart from each other and our family because no one would ever accept us. Would they, could they possibly accept incestous brothers?
Somehow during all my panicking I had found my way downstairs to the kitchen and started making coffee. The sun had begun to rise and the entire house would be up soon. There wouldn't be any more sleep for me this morning, I was certain of it.
"You're up early," Mom said as she entered the room.
"Yeah," I cleared my throat. "Fell asleep early last night, I'm still trying to catch up on sleep."
She nodded and poured herself some coffee.
I tried to act nonchalant, normal, but somehow I felt she knew. She couldn't have known, but it didn't matter. I still wasn't able to look her in the eyes, and try as I might if I stayed around her for too long she would suspect something. I started to leave when I heard her behind me.
"Dad and I are going to run into town this morning, you boys need anything?"
"No, thanks though." I sighed relieved that she apparently had no more interest in early morning conversation than I did.
Kyle was already awake when I opened the door, though he was still naked and idly touching his morning wood. He looked to me and I tried to meet his gaze, found I couldn't, studied the woodgrain in the floor instead. He just shrugged and continued to idly touch himself. He didn't even attempt to cover himself when I came in. We never used to be those siblings, those kids that were just comfortable being naked around each other. Our family was just too conservative, too repressed for that. Apparently I had also sucked out all his modestly last night.
"This is just awkward," he said at last with a grin.
"Sorry," I tried, pitifully. "Just forget about it."
"I don't think I can."
"Seriously, just forget about it."
"I don't know." He shrugged. "I mean you just gave me my first blowjob, and probably the best orgasm I've ever had. How can I possibly just forget that? Besides you're the only one I can talk to about any of this, Its not like I can call up any of my friends and be like 'hey guess what? I just nutted in my brothers throat!'"
"Jesus, not so loud! Mom and Dad are awake." I shook my head and sat down on the edge of my bed.
"I don't even know what to think anymore," he continued on as though I hadn't said anything. "I mean holy shit that was, by far, the best fucking nut of my life. Seriously. And I like girls, I know I do, or I think I do. But now this gay shit, and what does that mean? Am I gay now? What the fuck?"
"No, that's not how that works. I shouldn't have taken advantage..."
"Taken advantage? Of who? It's not like you forced me to jam my cock down your throat. I wanted it, Ryan. God you felt so good, and I want more. No I need more."
"What?"
