ASH
Two weeks passed and it was radio silence from Stefan.
It wasn't like they talked every day. Besides making sure their schedules were synced concerning childcare, they didn't text or talk on the phone much. Majority of their conversations--Luca-related or not--were had in-person, but two weeks without so much of a hello felt intentional, like he was being punished or iced out.
Ash debated and debated and debated on reaching out--damn near walking a hole into the carpet oF his bedroom floor with his pacing--because the quiet was quite literally
killing
him, but he'd wanted to give Stefan space. The not knowing what he was giving him space for, though, was driving him insane!
In situations like this, he'd usually ask his brother for advice, but he didn't know how to approach the topic without admitting what he'd done.
Adrian knew he was gay. There'd been no surprise from him when Ash had come out, only love and absolute acceptance. They'd had their fair share of awkward conversations about sex and how to do so safely. He'd gone to him for guidance about past flings, but going to him with boy problems when that boy was his brother's best friend was uncharted territory.
He could already imagine Adrian's reaction.
"Hey, Aid, how do I get back in Stefan's good graces?"
"That depends. What did you do?"
"Uhhh, well, I may have, not so subtly, offered myself to him sexually?"
"YOU DID WHAT??!"
He shook his head clear of those thoughts. Nope. He was going to have to do this on his own.
With a deep breath, he typed out
Hey
, his finger hovering over the arrow for a few seconds before he hit sent.
A minute passed, then two before 'delivered' change to 'read' and the reply ellipses appeared.
Hey, yourself
, the message read.
At least it was something.
Hey. I was just checking in. Haven't heard from you in a couple of days.
All good. Nothing crazy going on with work. No meetings to stay late for or weekend emergencies. And I've decided to give up dating for awhile, so I haven't needed you to babysit. Me and L have just been hanging out and watching A LOT of Cocomelon
π
Ash couldn't help but smile.
Cocomelon
was Luca's favorite show. When he liked a song, they would listen to or watch the video on repeat for days. Since Ash only saw him for a couple of hours at a time, he only slightly understood the annoyance Stefan felt toward the show, but he understood doing whatever made the little dude happy.
And while the polite thing to probably do would've been to empathize with Stefan or offer to give him a break, Ash latched on to the bit about giving up dating.
He plopped down on the edge of his bed, staring at the blank beige wall for a beat. The timing was suspicious. Paired with the silence... It couldn't be because of him, right?
Right?!
He needed an answer, but he also needed to play this cool. He couldn't come off too eager (even if his stomach felt a little fluttery). He needed to be Stefan's friend first and see where that led.
π€
Why'd you giving up dating? I know the last date didn't go well, but completely calling it quits?
Ash watched the ellipses start then stop, start then stop again before a big block of text appeared on his screen.
I never wanted to start dating in the first place. It was your brother's idea. He thought I was in a slump over Renee and said dating was the best way to get over her, but I don't have feelings for her. I haven't in a long time, even before Luca was born. She and I were just together because it was easy and made sense and then for Luca's sake, but there was no genuine love there for a long time.
Then, I went along with it because it was nice to get out and have a drink and feel wanted again, but I don't think things are working out because I'm dating for the wrong reasons. And I haven't been truly interested in anyone I've gone out with. No one I would want to see again.
It may have just been hopeful thinking, but Ash felt like his chances were getting better and better.
Thanks for sharing that with me.
Thanks for listening.
YW. Can I ask...?
Shoot.
This might have seemed like a selfish, self-serving question, but Ash meant it sincerely. While the idea of he and Stefan fueled his wet dreams, ultimately, if Ash couldn't be who made him happy, he would still want Stefan to be. Maybe that meant he just needed a push in the right direction.
Have you thought about broadening your horizons? Expanding your dating pool? Maybe you're not interested because you're limiting your experiences. Maybe you should try dating outside of your type?
His reply was immediate.
I don't have a type.