ASH & STEFAN
ASH
Ash held up a baby blue, short-sleeved shirt to his chest, turning left and right as he checked himself out in the mirror. The shirt would be a good choice. Besides the material being so soft against his skin, it brought out the color of his eyes. He knew Stefan would appreciate the combination, but he didn't know if he had the right pants to match.
"Ugh!" he groaned, throwing the shirt onto his bed with his other options, making sure it didn't end up littered across the floor like all the other discarded choices.
He was nervous about his date. A little voice in the back of his mind was telling him it made no sense. He'd already had this man's dick in nearly every orifice of his body, but he still wanted to make a good impression.
Holding up his next pick--a heather grey crew neck sweater he'd recently bought from H&M--he wondered if maybe it was too plain? It felt like it was giving interview more than date night.
Dropping it by his feet, he ran his fingers through his hair, turned, and surveyed his room. It looked like a tornado had torn through his closet and drawers and deposited every single item of clothing he'd owned on the floor.
Maybe he should just cancel. Maybe they should just stick to their current arrangement as fuck buddies and not--
"Knock, knock."
His brother stuck his head in the door, his eyes going wide as he took in the catastrophe.
"Umm, what's going on?"
"I don't know what to wear for my date."
Adrian stepped through the doorway. His eyes tracked a path through the room, doing his best to step over the heaping piles and onto any empty space of carpet. When he finally reached the bed, he scooted Ash's pile of possibilities to the side and sat, leaning back on his hands.
"What's really going on?"
Ash dropped his hands with a sigh, knowing there was no point in pretending with his brother. He'd always been able to read him like an open book. "It's my first real date with Stefan, and I want everything to be perfect."
"And you think whatever you wear is somehow going to make a difference?"
"Obviously! I can't show up dressed like I don't care! And I don't wanna be overdressed. I don't wanna look like I'm trying too hard either."
"That's all that this is about?" He knew by the gaze his brother leveled at him--eyes steady, an eyebrow cocked in question--that Adrian didn't believe a word he was saying. "Making sure you look good?"
"No." This week had flown by so fast; he and his brother hadn't had a chance to talk about what they could talk about in regards to his relationship with Stefan. Even though Adrian had always been supportive of Ash and his past relationships, this was new territory for them. His support of him and Stefan working their shit out was one thing, but Ash didn't know where that support ended.
"I just--I guess I'm afraid that if this doesn't go well, if everything about this date isn't perfect, it'll be a sign that Stefan and I aren't right for each other. Maybe our compatibility only exists in"--his eyes darted away from his brother's--"you know."
"The bedroom? Remember, Ashton, I'm well aware that you and Stefan are sexually active."
Ash buried his face in his hands with a groan.
"Ash, look at me."
Spreading his fingers, Ash peaked at his brother through the small spaces, but he didn't remove his face.
"Thanks for attempting to spare my feelings, but I don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me about your feelings and y'all's relationship just because those feelings are for and your relationship is with my best friend. Yeah, it's weird, and it's going to be weird for who knows how long. There are boundaries I think we need to define. However, this"--he flicked his wrist to gesture to Ash and his clothing dilemma--"this is something we can talk about."
With a nod, Ash let his hands fall slowly from his face.
"Good. First things first!" Pushing to his feet, Adrian crossed to Ash's window and picked up a pair of straight black jeans. He snapped them in the air a few times and circled back around to where Ash was still standing in front of his full-length mirror. Adrian snatched up the grey sweater he'd recently discarded and pushed them into Ash's chest. "Put these on and your black Chelsea boots, and I'll be right back."
Adrian, making a path with his feet as he moved toward the door, disappeared into the hallway.
Taking his brother's direction, Ash quickly stripped down to his underwear and changed. When he was fully dressed, he checked himself out in the mirror. He had to admit, while the look was simple, he looked good.
It was classic yet comfortable. Stylish, but didn't look like he was trying too hard.
When Adrian returned, he looked his brother up and down and nodded in approval. "I make good decisions."
Though he agreed, Ash rolled his eyes for dramatic effect.
Adrian held out a sleek watch to him. The strap looked to be leather, and the case was some kind of light metal in a matte black finish.
"I also bought you a necklace, but I don't think you'll need it if you wear your glasses."
Ash slid the watch on his wrist and grabbed his glasses from the nightstand. When he turned back to the mirror one last time, with his long blonde hair thrown up in a messy bun, he thought he looked like a hot librarian.
Clapping him on the shoulder, his brother asked, "Do you feel better now?"
"I do." He nodded, some of the nervous energy having drained out of him. "Thank you," he added.
Adrian threw his hand. "For the record, though, Stefan isn't gonna care about your outfit. Not that he won't appreciate it, but he's really just gonna be so happy that you're there. So"--he placed both of his hands on Ash's shoulders--"try not to worry too much and have a good time."
*
With the art show almost at its end, Ash felt silly for worrying.
Adrian's words had echoed in the back of his mind, but not worrying was easier said than done.
It had been so easy for his mind to jump to the worst-case scenarios: What if they didn't know how to be around each other now without sex being involved? (The physical part was always what they'd done well.) What if someone said something about their age difference? (While Stefan didn't look his age, it was still clear that there was some kind of age gap between the two of them.) What if Stefan couldn't handle being out? He'd been straight-presenting for thirty years of his life. Everything that had transpired between them had been behind clothes doors. What if someone made rude remarks? Or what if someone was homophobic? Ash had faced that scrutiny before; he knew what people were capable of and how to handle it, but Stefan wouldn't be expecting that kind of hatred.
But as soon as he was with Stefan, seeing his sparkling smile and those hazel eyes he loved so much--as soon as Stefan's fingers and lips reached for Ash before he'd even said hello, like he just couldn't wait to feel Ash's mouth against his and under his fingertips--his worries started to wash away.
Every moment he spent with Stefan helped the uneasiness pass.
On the ride over, Stefan's hand rested easily on Ash's thigh, his touch warm and gentle, as they talked about how their weeks had gone and what else they could do over the weekend, and, when they'd arrived at the venue and parked, Stefan hurried around the side of the car and opened the door for him. Ash kissed him on the cheek because it's the little things that count.
As they made their way to the building's entrance, Stefan laced their fingers together and didn't let go. Whether conscious or not, the little circles his thumb rubbed into the top of Ash's hand were so soothing.
They were in constant contact as they followed the flow of traffic around the gallery. If their hands weren't linked, it was their pinkies. Stefan's hand seemed to find a home on the small of Ash's back. When they'd stopped at a piece Ash particularly liked, Stefan had moved behind Ash, almost cradling his body with his. Ash had settled in, his back against Stefan's strong chest, chatting in hushed tones about what they thought the artist's inspiration was and how it was reflected in the piece.
When the featured artist came over to talk to them, Ash's jitters were for a whole other reason.
