The melancholy old songs were playing on the stereo. It had been 2 years ago, this day, that Andreas had been taken from me. Listening to the old 70s love ballads β The Carpenters, Barry Manilow, Barbra Streisand... All of those torch songs about lost love and trying to find my man or to try to replace the one that got away... I knew that in a little while, I'd change the music to more current and upbeat songs β but these old torchy, tear jerkers still tugged at my heartstrings and played amongst my memories.
Most of my friends swore that it was stupid and maudlin for me to act this way, but they'd never really felt the loss that I felt... Sure, they lost a friend when Andreas died, but they didn't lose a lover β their spouse. Sure, we've all lost loved ones, and I feel bad for still feeling so bad, but it never seems to get any easier... And my pain just seems more real than theirs.
I still remembered meeting Andreas.... It was many years ago, during the height of the AIDS scares β when everybody thought that even just touching another man would turn them positive β just by looking at an infected guy would make them seroconvert. Sure, back in the 80s, it was still scary and new and frightening. I knew of many men that became virtual monks β never having any kind of sexual relations with another guy β even a few that wouldn't make love with their committed partners of 5 years! It was insane! But, it was an insane time with insane leaders in an insane world.
What made it worse was the way that Andreas and I had met... A friend of mine was celebrating his birthday β and his negative test results β by throwing a private, invite only sex party at The Muscle Den. The Muscle Den was nothing more than a bathhouse, although now it would be more high class β it would be a Sex Club.... Ah, progress...
So, Mattie was throwing his party β and only a 'select few' were invited. I had to admire Mattie... only that nelly queen would consider 85 naked guys a 'select few'... But, again, only that nelly queen could pull together that 'select few' β including a few porn stars, pin-up boys and mainstream models to be his chosen select. Those of us that were his friends always felt slightly outclassed by many of the men that Mattie had around. Don't get me wrong β I was hot in my 20s β not that I'm not hot now; I'm just more... mature? We all had those typical gay boy looks β shopping right from the International Male catalogs, gym hopping every other day, following whatever 'the fashionistas' at GQ and Vogue Homme would thrown at us, calling it the 'next big thing'.... Oh, and the music fashions! The styles of Duran-Duran, Michael Jackson (when he was still a black, male singer and not some plastic surgeon side show), A Flock of Seagulls, Frankie Goes to Hollywood; all of these were our fashion plates. God, were we naΓ―ve...
I arrived at The Muscle Den at the appointed hour β 7:30 pm. Mattie figured if we started early enough, and it died down (as if!), we could all still go out and bar hop until the wee hours and have an after-hours party at some dive... I walked in, flashed my invite, took the keys and towels that were provided and headed to the locker room. I stripped down to the tattered jock, tan work boots and my towel; grabbed the present I brought β a life like dildo, if you're idea of lifelike is bright pink latex nearly a foot and a half long β and headed to the main room. When I got there, I was pleased to see that there were a few guys milling around, chatting, cruising, drinking. The video monitors were playing the pretty boy porn of the era and a few guys were lounging about, stroking their cocks, listening to the chatter and on the prowl.
Mattie, of course, was there, as hostess and guest of honor, in a flowing white robe β a silk kimono from his recent trips abroad. Mattie was flitting about, saying his 'hellos' and kissing cheeks with all his guests. He came over and offered me a glass of champagne and kissed the air next to my cheek. "Darling! Have you ever seen such a display of hot masculinity! Oh! I could just die right now and feel I was already in heavan! And did you see that one in the corner? He's one of the newest and freshest boys in movies and I am working hard on getting him to be my gift! My God, Chris, I just want to... Oh! Look who just showed up!" Mattie cried over my shoulder towards the entrance. With that, he was off again, a swirl of white silk.
I wandered through the room, saying 'hello' to people I knew, making glances to those that I didn't know but surely would like to meet. There was so much eye candy about, one barely knew where to look: the up and coming porn star standing around, his body in perfect shape, glistening with a layer of mist, cock hanging down; the models in the center of the room, preening and posing while chattering to each other, some wearing towels, some the newest underwear or jock strap, others simply letting it all hang down for the world to view; a few guys lounging around, cocks hard and ready; and a few guys already on their knees, servicing some other guys, sucking long and hard while the recipients stood and chatted amiably.
I was quite pleased, however, with the looks that I was getting in return from some of these living statues. I wasn't too bad looking, either... At 6 foot tall, my frame carried 195 pounds well. I watched what I ate and worked out 3 or 4 times a week, keeping my body trim and toned. Of course, being only 26 at the time didn't hurt, either. During the summer, I'd spend a few hours at the beach, working on keeping a golden glow to my skin; the rest of the year, I'd spend those same hours in the tanning salon; my reddish-blonde hair was set off by that glow, and my bright blue eyes shone from my face. Standing around in my navy blue jock and workmen's boots, I looked butch and sexy. The jock cradled my 8" cock and my husky balls nicely, jutting out just enough to intrigue.
I was talking to a guy named Marcus, who was one of the models that Mattie had invited. Mattie was a fashion director for a major magazine; so many of these guys had appeared in the pages of his magazine, while the remainder wanted to. Marcus was cute and somewhat well built, but this was the beginning of the 'heroin addict' look in models β when they were so thin and gaunt, that 3rd world children took pity on them. I'd had a few glasses of champagne and my 'wine blinders' were coming into play. A few more and I'd think that Mattie was a big, butch guy and let HIM fuck me! But that was before Andreas walked in. I'd seen him before at one of Mattie's events, but we'd never gotten a chance to talk. Andreas was one of those Latin boy hotties that just immediately draw the looks. OK, so maybe it was just MY attention he was getting, but he was worth it.
He was about my same height, but he'd spent more time in the gym, as he was a bit bulkier in his chest and shoulders β large flat pectorals hung evenly over his 6 pack abs, topped off by swirls of dark chest hair and nipples that leapt from his chest. He was wearing a towel wrapped around his waist, and I could see a bulge hanging beneath the folds of terry. His legs were defined and toned, disappearing just above the knees into his towel. His dark hair was cut short and framed his face as a masterpiece. Mattie immediately left the young porn star and headed off to Andreas, thrusting a drink in his hands while grabbing a hold of the bulge of his towel.
I continued chatting with Marcus, but my eyes kept darting back over to Andreas, stealing peeks at his physique. I couldn't be sure, but I thought I caught him looking away from me once or twice, as well. My heart fluttered and I could feel my cock stir in my jock. Marcus excused himself to hit the bathroom β probably for a bump of coke β and I wandered off to the bar area for a refill.
By now, the party was beginning to fall into orgy mode β more and more of the guys were gathering in an area by the wall of TVs, groping and grabbing at each other, pawing towels, jocks, Speedos and whatever else to the ground. Cocks were being stroked and sucked and groups were splitting off from the main crowd β heading towards couches and corners and the 'private' rooms off to the side. A few of the guys were piling on top of each other in the middle of the room, cocks and fingers prodding and poking the nearest hole.