As long as I could remember, Alec had been my best friend. Best friend didn't even quite begin to describe it. Alec was the boy with whom I had pulled worms out of the dirt and speared them on fishing hooks, the adolescent I had stood awkwardly in line to sign up for high school with, the teenager I laughed with late into the night as we talked about which girls were the school sluts, even though we both knew that neither of us had any idea what sex really meant. Now, Alec was the young man with whom I rented an apartment as we transitioned into the ending phase of our college years, and Alec was the man I wanted to share the rest of forever with.
Believe me, this was confusing.
I don't know when I realized I was gay, but it was probably around the time my older brother had brought home his third steady girlfriend and I had heard them moaning through the paper-thin walls. I had gone to his door to knock and tell him to shut it, but when I knocked the door swung open and I realized that straight sex wasn't for me. It wasn't a huge crisis in my life or anything, I'm sure I must have known before, but that was really the second that I knew it for sure.
I don't know when I fell for Alec, either. Somewhere between the sighs and soft half-smiles, the shouting at video games and the way he always had to take the first sip before handing me a beer, I suddenly knew that he was it. He was every star in my sky and the breath in my body. He was every song on the radio and every drop of rain on the earth. He was wind and fire, but the fire that burned in a hearth while it snowed outside and chilled fingers were wrapped around steaming mugs of hot coffee.
It could have been the way that his hazel eyes lit up when he laughed at something dumb I said, or the way that he ran his piano-player fingers through his straight blonde hair. It could have been the scar on his bicep from that time we went to the lake and he slipped off the dock and caught himself on an underwater tree branch. Or the one on his hip from the skiing accident when he decided that it would be fun to go off a jump into some trees. It could have been the melodies that flowed through his fingers when he sat down at the ivory keys of the baby grand at his parents' house. It could have been the way he said my name like a prayer, a grasp at salvation.
Okay, that last part was probably me being a little dramatic. I hope you get the picture. My best friend from when we were just boys had become my eternity when I wasn't looking. But now I was looking. I was looking straight into the eyes of the pretty brunette girl who just walked out of his room after spending the night. Her makeup was smeared and she was wearing one of his t-shirts, the ones that showed his sculpted muscles perfectly but hung on her tiny frame like a tent. I smiled as I shook her hand and introduced myself, and noticed how tiny her hand felt in mine. That tiny hand that had done...what? She had been with Alec all night. Suddenly I was envious of those tiny hands...
"Hi, Trey. Good to meet you. I'm Alec's friend Eva."
I came back to reality for a moment.
"Hi, Eva. Nice to meet you too. Is Alec still in there?"
"Yeah, he isn't up yet. Late night."
I pulled my hand away a little more abruptly than I probably should have, but played it off by pretending to pick lint off my sweatshirt.
"Well, I guess I'll see you around, Eva. Gotta get ready for class..."
She smiled the perfectly polished smile at me again and turned and walked back into Alec's room, closing the door behind her. I scowled.
I came back from class at five and sighed happily as I opened the door to our warm apartment. It was snowing like doomsday outside and it was a relief to close the door behind me and be enveloped in the warmth. I pulled off my boots and jacket, and started stripping down as I made my way to my room. Alec worked at a veterinary clinic until ten thirty or so most weeknights, and it was nice to have the place to myself. I was whipped from class and then a short shift at the local coffee shop, and I got into my room and fell on my bed in nothing but my boxers, pulling a blanket over me as I rolled over. I heard a noise and opened my eyes with a start, to see Alec standing at the door to my room.
"Hey buddy, the clinic is closed cause of the storm and I was going to ask if you want to order Chinese and put on Zombieland or something, but looks like you're beat. That was quite a striptease, by the way."
I tried not to blush as I threw my pillow at him, hitting him right in the face.
"Glad you liked it, but next time you should consider tipping, asshole." I joked.
He laughed and caught the pillow, throwing it back.
"Get some rest, Trey. Don't want to keep you from your beauty sleep. You have to maintain those girlish good looks of yours."
I grumbled and rolled over, too tired to give him the sassy comeback I usually would have been able to manage.
"Close the door when you leave."
"Sure." He whispered, and I jumped. His voice was coming from right behind me. I flipped over quickly and sat up.
"The hell are you doing?" I asked, looking at the beautiful man standing right next to my bed.
"Dude, chill, your hair is wet from the snow. Thought you could use this." And the next moment a soft warm towel was put over my head and I could feel him ruffling my hair, drying it.
"Uh... Alec?"
"Trey?"
"What the fuck?"
