For men, sexual acts can make friendships grow closer (or it can tear them apart).
In the aftermath of my adventure with Zafir and Franz, I jerked off to gay porn every day and had taken upon myself to practice with a dildo everytime. I blew a lot of loads staring at moving images but thinking of how two of my best friends had cum using me as their sex toy. It filled me with a stronger sense of purpose than almost anything before it. Of course, neither returned my texts. My jerking sessions off that experience kept going, but when contact returned to normal between us three, I realized it was a solitary experience. Neither Zafir or Franz acknowledged what happened and I obeyed.
Christmas break came around and that meant Jerry and Jacob would return from college, bringing the entire crew back together again. We had rented a cabin again near the lake, like we always did. We would do nothing else for the first week of the year than drink, play video games and smoke weed. I was excited on a friendship level, but something inside me hoped I would room with either Zafir or Franz.
Of course, my real desire was to room with Darryl, but Darryl had grown significantly distant in recent weeks. The holidays only further underlined his newfound singledom and it tore him apart. Seeing Darryl sad is such rarity it will deplete you of any sense of hope or faith. He no longer played for us, he no longer wanted to hang out even. Out of sight, it was easier to not think of him romantically, but I worried all the same.
No luck at all. Darryl opted out of the weekend for the first time since we were sixteen. Everyone understood and no one was as devastated as I was. Still, my tingling balls were somehow even more excited that I could enjoy either Zafir or Franz guilt free of my feelings for Darryl. How awkward it was that in Darryls absence, the guys had decided girlfriends were allowed. Jerry had brought home a chick from college whom, he claimed, was definitely "the one" and would bunk with her. Which prompted Franz to take a sleezy girl named Suzanna along too, though neither of them claimed anything other than to be fuck buddies. Which left me bunking with Zafir and Jacob. Whatever chances of me getting some this weekend were, were gone out of the window. Jacob had never had a girlfriend and I'm sure he never even had sex. Basically he was so sophisticated I am sure he thought natural desires like Zafir had with me were for uneducated morons only. Perhaps he was right.
The New Year was only five hours old when all of us were completely wasted on the couch. My head was spinning from the bad mixture of weed and alcohol. I couldn't imagine being fucked right now, though my body still ached for it. Even more so because I now cleaned to prepare myself and purposefully hadn't eaten anything just to be ready, inevitably only worsen my intoxication. However, with the girls around there was no porn and no one seemed very keen on doing exciting stuff. In fact, the mood had worsened as Jerry and Franz were in a stand off over who had the biggest cock, or at the very least, who had the best relationship. Their cockfights were funny at best and exhausting at worst.
"I've known Suzanna for all my life, how long do you know... what's you name again?" Franz said belligerently to Esmee who was too quiet and probably intelligent to respond.
"You're embarrassing yourself with that ho bag, dude," Jerry said with his usual contempt for anything cheap.
"Do you always feel so threatened?" Suzanne said, unexpectedly. Everyone had turned silent. Franz and sometimes Jacob were the only ones to ever stand up to Jerry. Jerry was a bully, big football jock with broad shoulders, muscles everywhere and a strong jawline. But his charm would make you forgive him anything, and thus there wasn't a person in the world who disliked him. I certainly didn't. Since my newfound desire for dick I fondly remembered all the times Jerry would pick me up and sling me over his shoulders, messing around. I realized I entered wrestling matches with him not because I stood a chance but because him tackling me and dominating me was as close to my true desires as I could get denying them. Yet here Jerry was, tackled himself by Suzanne, who with her piercings and uncombed hair tricked you into underestimating her.
Jerry didn't respond, instead he leaned back and forced a very uncomfortable Esmee into a long, overtly public display of tongue fighting. Meanwhile, Suzanne smiled softly at Franz and gave him a tender kiss on the lips.
"I gotta go to bed," I said, realizing the night wasn't getting more interesting. Jacob and Jerry soon started talking politics and Zafir was still on a cloud somewhere by himself. After the mandatory name-calling and protest I finally went to bed.