I had never ever considered myself a gay man. I had never so much as even looked at another man until I had met Abel. In light of everything that has happened in the last few months, to start the story by telling you that I am not gay seems so preposterous, but I need to start at the beginning in order to make sense of how I ended up here. I need this to try and make sense of everything, in the snatches of time that I have when I'm not under their spell. You may think I'm crazy, but please, hear me out.
I had it all; a slick, slim investment banker, living it up in the centre of London, with a fast Audi and a fast succession of women falling at my feet. The last in that long line of women, the gorgeous Shannon Tyler, had stuck around for several months and it was starting to look serious. I had the perfect life.
(You *have* the perfect life now.)
I miss my beautiful girlfriend. I miss my Audi and, shit, I never thought I would say this, but I miss my job. I miss it all. I want them all back.
(There's only one thing that you want.)
Don't listen to him.
(And I'd say that one thing was more of a need, personally.)
Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off! At least give me a chance to try and make sense of this, even just this once...
(Go ahead, Anthony. But we both know what you truly want and need. Take your time, figure it out, I'll be right here with the answer.)
As I said, try and ignore that for now. Let me just get my thoughts straight and start at the beginning. I worked at JPC Investment Banking HQ, in Tower Hill, London. There was an ongoing merger in progress with Wittington's of Essex. I didn't understand it and it was over my head, plus my job was absolutely not at risk, so I kept my nose out. I did notice a few new faces around the office, but that was it.
(Until you met me.)
Until I met Abel. He had taken over as head of Bonds, which was the department in which I worked. My old boss received an undeserved promotion, and they slid in someone from the merger to replace him.
(I just slid right in, didn't I, Anthony?)
Abel was ex-army or ex-navy, I forget which, and he was a towering, chiselled man with hard set features and pitch black hair. Streaks of grey coursed through his beard, but he was a fit and powerful man. You could just tell, especially by the way his suit hug to the shape of his body. It's not gay to notice that, right?
(The mind sees what the mind wants.)
I'd never been intimidated by a man before. Usually I can laugh off boorish lads and troublemakers with the gift of the gab, but when Abel's eyes first met mine at the introductory management meeting, I froze like a deer in headlights. I was terrified of this man; this new geezer whom I had never met before in my life, struck the fear of God in me. Nothing else in the room mattered. I just stared back at him, paralysed. After a while he smiled, and broke off the gaze. The room swam back into focus and reality resumed as if I had never parted from it.
(That was our special moment, Anthony; the very moment you first let me in.)
As the meeting progressed, I purposefully avoided Abel's gaze as he introduced himself and his methods to the team. I found that, as time went on, a stirring began deep within my core. It started as a feeling of unease, but as the feeling swelled with intensity, almost as if my guts were rearranging themselves. I began to feel empty, and I started to crave the feeling of being filled.
At first, I did not understand fully what was happening. This bizarre feeling grew with me over the rest of the day, and into the evening. I met Bazza and a couple of the droogs from accounting for a few bevvies, and as I imbibed more and more lagers, the feeling grew and grew and grew. It wasn't until I got home that night that I truly realised what was going on.
Shannon had stayed over at my flat but she was currently working nights. She was an assistant neurologist with the local trust and she was currently on a night time rotation shadowing the on call neurologist. By the time I got home, she had just finished showering and was getting ready for work.
I was lying on my bed, watching her sitting on the edge, slowly brushing her long, golden brown hair. I found myself focussing on the brush she used to complete the task. It was almost hypnotic, how she went about it; slow and methodical, yet each stroke possessed purpose and meaning.
I remember how thick the knobbled brush handle looked whilst wrapped in her tiny, petite fingers. There was something about the thickness and the length of it that slowly dawned on me and resonated with the feelings emanating from my core. Realising how phallic Shannon's brush was, the warm feeling inside of me coursed through my genitals and I knew instantly what I was going to do the moment she left for work.
You must understand that I had never done anything like this before in my life. I'd had a freaky ex from Islington who had a thing for eating my ass, but that was as far as it had ever gone. Yet, right in that moment, I wanted nothing more than to feel that brush handle up inside me, filling that gap that had ached all day.
The moment she left, I took the brush to the bathroom and slathered it in Vaseline in a fit of lust. I quickly stripped off, and stood there like an idiot. Was I just gonna jam it up my ass? Wait, would this hurt?
I re-evaluated the situation and decided to lie down on my bed. Crawling onto the sheets naked felt amazing on my skin, and before I was even lying down fully I felt much more relaxed. I rubbed the brush handle on the insides of my thighs, and teased my balls with it. With my free hand, I reached for my thickening cock to jerk it as I played around. That was when I first heard the voice.
(Like this?)
Just like that, yes. Gentle at first; warm and assertive, yet authoritative and dominant. It said to me:
(Don't do that.)
My hand shot away from my cock, instantly. I was confused, and for the second time today, frightened.
(You don't want to touch that, it'll draw your mind away from what you truly want.)
I looked down at the brush in my hand. The thick wooden handle looked as inviting as ever.
(That's a good boy.)
A wave of pleasure met the fear, emboldening me enough to ask aloud: "Have I lost my mind?"
The voice responded:
(Not yet.)
I moved the brush up further between my legs, slowly spreading them out to make room for my new friend. Gingerly, I pressed the bulbed head of the brush handle against my virgin hole. I was surprised how it instantly had a bit of give to it; the brush handle was smothered in Vaseline but I had not expected my ring to be so eager.
I took a few deep breaths, constantly resisting the urge to reach out and grab my dick, and began to press the brush handle into my ass. Slowly, but surely, I began to feel my hole open around the end of the brush, but there was a great deal of resistance.
(Push down, boy.)
I re-angled the brush and tried again.
(No, you idiot; push down on the brush like you are taking a shit.)
And so I did. Pushing inwards with the brush and pushing outwards with my muscles, the first notch on the handle popped inside me.
(Beautiful.)
Unsure how to react, I instantly pulled the brush back out, and my butthole retracted, tightening back up. I repeated the process, finding that it got easier with every stroke, and that each time, the brush worked a little deeper inside me. I felt a certain degree of discomfort, but it wasn't anything that I could not handle.