1985
I knew going into my teens I didn't have any idea which sex I was actually attracted to. I had had a steady girlfriend throughout high school and convinced myself that I should be attracted to and dating women. It wasn't easy growing up in small town Iowa and always feeling different about myself. The urge to always prove to myself and others that I was just like them turned into a sports obsession and by the time I reached high school I held the distinct honor of being both the football and baseball captains. It also went without saying that my girlfriend was the clichéd head cheerleader. We were the town's sweethearts, the queen and king of the all of the proms and parties. On Friday nights we would park in the cornfields and make-out. Being the gentleman that I was I never let our relationship go past 'second base' – a little grabbing of the tits here and there but that's pretty much where it stopped. I always sensed that she was frustrated that I didn't take a more active interest in sex. I guess I was blind to it and it wasn't until she came to me three months before graduation and told me she was pregnant with another man's baby that the reality that all of my attempts at deception were most likely in vain.
It didn't really matter, I had made it my main concern to get to as far away from farm country Iowa and I was more than willing to put everything else in my life on hold to achieve my goal. I was scouted by the biggest and best schools in the country and it was the happiest day of my life when my coach walked in the locker room and announced that one of the largest universities in Massachusetts had scouted me and had offered me a full scholarship. Without giving it a second thought I packed my bags and never looked back.
My freshman year was a blur getting acclimated to college and life outside of Iowa. I devoted my time to studying and playing baseball, probably making me the first geeky-jock the school had ever known and closed out my first year with an outstanding 3.98gpa. I constantly had to fight a war within myself to stay strong at my sport, so I wouldn't lose my scholarship and the need to garner as much education as I could so I would never have to go back to Iowa again.
At the end of my freshman year I was approached to play with a summer league AAA baseball team in Boston. Having the summer off from school allowed me to start cultivating other facets to my life. There was always a woman or two that hung close by – after all jocks were infamous for being sex machines - but I found myself shying away from that type of attention. I still wasn't fully committed to what my sexuality might or might not be.
My body had developed early in life. Puberty hit me at age 10 and my body began changing quickly. I shot up, hitting close to six feet tall by the time I was thirteen along with hair on parts of my body I had never imagined hair would grow. I had a set of low hanging balls that always felt full and a dick that measure nine inches. I started masturbating soon after and found that I had an insatiable sex drive. By age eighteen I was 6'5 and my dick was a full thirteen inches long with a circumference that even my long lean fingers couldn't wrap around. I was more than capable of having 3-4 orgasms in one session and masturbated morning, noon and night.
In mid August, two weeks before fall classes were to start the team traveled to Philadelphia for a series of away games. As a team we were kept on a pretty tight schedule, but there were allotted times, normally in the evenings before our ten o'clock curfew, that we could venture out on our own. During one of these times I separated from the group and explored a part of Philly that was rumored to be known for its adult bookstores and theaters.
I walked into one of stores not knowing what to expect and was pleasantly surprised when I found it was a clean bright store – that happened to deal in sex toys, books and movies. A part of me wanted to go look through the books and magazine section but I couldn't decide if I wanted to look at women or men so I just walked around the store looking at all the merchandise on the shelves. Towards the back of the store I noticed a constant flow of men walking from the front of the store to the back.
"You'll need to buy some tokens if you want to see the videos" the store clerk said when I started to walk down the hallway. He walked up to me and recited the pricing schedule to me. I took a twenty out of my wallet, which bought me close to a half hour of viewing time.
The rooms were private, with a wooden stool securely fastened to the floor. The lights came on when you closed the door, but went down as soon as you chose a movie to watch. I scanned through the movies and found a man-on-woman movie title "The Big Fuck'. The moment the movie started the actor in the screen was already fucking the woman, his cock pounding in an out of her pussy. They were both moaning loudly but neither of them seemed to be enjoying what they were doing. For ten minutes I watched, almost to the point of boredom, them fucking until he pulled out and shot his load onto her stomach.
The movie left my cold. The lights came back up again and I started flipping through the titles again when I came to the gay section. The first title jumped out at me 'John sucks Peter's Big Cock'. I inserted more coins, the lights dimmed and the movie started.
It was the first time I had ever seen two men together. From the moment the movie started John was, just as the title said, sucking Peter's cock. Peter was a big black man that had a cock that I estimated to be in the 10" range. I was fascinated and awe stuck by the whole thing, especially when Peter shot his load into John's mouth and over his face. My cock was screaming to be released from my pants. By the time I started the next movie I had lost the battle and had unzipped and out at concrete attention.
The second video was a group of men jerking their ample sized cocks off, shooting their loads onto each other or onto themselves. It wasn't the best video, but I loved seeing all the different men with their different sizes and thicknesses. I also found myself stroking my cock the whole time.
I needed to see more cock sucking and for my last video I found a movie where one man sucked off twelve different men, each of them cumming in his mouth. At the end of the movie they all stood around the man and at the same time shot a second load all over his face, hair and chest. I shot my load just as they all did onto the floor just as the twelve of them came.
I left the room feeling oddly satisfied and just a little bit dirty. Still having an hour to kill before I had to be back at the hotel, and needing more time to get my sizable hard on tamed, I distracted myself by reading a bulletin board in the hallway between the video booths and store. Most of the messages on the board were men looking for other men or invitations to suck cock for free, none of which I found very interesting until my eyes landed on neatly written index card: NYC – SAMMIES ON 49th STREET – THE ONLY PLACE TO MEET MEN ENDOWED WITH MORE THAN A MOUTHFUL. OPEN 365 DAYS FROM 4pm to 4AM. Looking to see that no one was around I grabbed the card and left the store.
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I kept the card in my wallet, looking at it every time I took my wallet out. I became obsessed with the idea of going there. I wanted to meet other men that were like me. By the time Thanksgiving rolled around I made the decision to fore go staying in the dorms for the holiday to travel to New York for the long weekend.
I walked into SAMMIES at 4pm the Tuesday before Thanksgiving.
Being 19 and never having frequented any bar before I had no concept that bars, gay bars in particular, didn't come alive until much later in the evening. For the first two hours it was just me and the bartender, Tom. He was a nice enough guy and since I wasn't drinking alcohol he didn't bother to card me. To him I was a prime piece of meat looking to be picked up, I was good for business and he wasn't going to stand in my way.
We talked nonchalantly about the weather and where I lived. He was from Boston and knew a lot about the school I was attending and told me how smart I must be to be going there on a full scholarship. I didn't bother to tell him it was a jock-ship, my word for an athletic scholarship. It just felt good that someone was judging me on being smart and not for sports. He asked how I found out about the place. At first I wanted to lie and tell him that friends had told me about it, but I was never a good liar and admitted that I saw an index card with the bar's name at an adult bookstore in Philadelphia. He looked at me quizzically and then shook his head that he did know about the free advertising they sometimes did at adult bookstores.
"So you like big dicks?" He asked. I shrugged not committing either way. "You have a big dick?" I knew I flushed too many shades of red as I shook my head that I did.
"Ya feel like showing me?" Somehow I didn't get the feeling he was coming on to me, more like checking me out for some reason.
