I had no frame of reference for what was developing between Roy and me. I'm not sure I even understood how it related to the feelings I'd had for him since childhood. All I knew was that I never wanted it to end.
The knowledge that my parents expected me to start college in the fall often nagged at me in my quieter moments. It was clear by then that time had run out on forestalling it with military service. But every time the giant took me in those enormous arms of his, he forced the quandary so far into the back of mind I could blissfully ignore it.
Initially our sex was a nightly event in which I learned my way around his massive body and developed my self-concept as a sexual being. The first time time I took his seed in my mouth stands out as an event just as momentous as that first night I slept in his arms.
I curled up between his legs and stared in frenzied lust at the bulky tool looming in my face. Having already lapped a dollop of his semen off his chin, I decided I was adequately prepared to receive it directly in my mouth.
I touched my lips to the soft ring of foreskin rolled half way up on his cock head and hungrily tongued the recessed opening that leaked his delicious pre-ejaculate.
"Beautiful," he sighed as he ran his fat fingers through my hair.
I pulled his skin back to fully reveal the head for him and slid my mouth over it until my upper lip slipped behind his pronounced corona. His cock head was so big that it alone seemed to almost fill my mouth. But once I'd gone that far, I couldn't get enough of him in to satisfy my burning desire.
My vigorous assault on it pressed the blunt thing to my soft palate with such force that I gagged myself on him a number of times. I wanted it all, like the girl in the popular big-budget porno of the day 'Deep Throat'.
"Settle down, sport," Roy nervously cautioned while he continued stroking my hair.
I took his advice and contented myself with only as much of him as I could comfortably manage, then began sucking on it. I remember thinking how odd it seemed that having my head impaled on a member as impressive as his would make me feel more like a man than I ever had.
My suction became more ardent the more that feeling swelled inside me. I took his ball sac in both hands and soon had the room filled with slurping noises from my intensity. Before long his deeply satisfied groans began to compete with them.
I started bobbing as I sucked him and thrilled to the feel of his big hands when he laid them on my head. He didn't press me down or assert himself with any sort of aggression. He just let them go along for the ride while I furiously pressed myself into the service of what I perceived to be his rightful expectation.
His breathing picked up and I responded by throwing myself at his turgid organ with even greater urgency. He began bucking his hips in steady rhythm to meet my lunges.
The soft baritone in which he delivered his words of encouragement fueled my desire to sate him. My neck was beginning to ache, but fellating the remarkable man to a successful conclusion became my sole reason for existing. I fended off the urge to rest.
I let go of his balls and slid my arms up onto his belly. Then the most wonderful thing happened.
I felt Roy tense up beneath me and his fat cock began to pulse in my mouth. I cinched my lips to its substantial girth to receive his gift. It jetted into the tight suction I'd created on him in anticipation of it.
Once he relaxed I lifted my head from his loins with a noisy slurp and proudly showed him my tongue swimming in his copious discharge. Seeing how pleased he was I gulped it down.
"Did I do good?" I asked.
"You did great, sport!" he assured me with a loving smile.
In our private time Roy gave me unfettered access to him. As hard as we worked, there must have been nights when he really wanted nothing more than to curl up with me and just relax - or even sleep. But my hunger for him and his wondrous body was insatiable in those earliest days and he never denied me.
As strange as this sounds in these enlightened times, I really didn't even think of us as gay then. Other than our sexual conduct, nothing about us or the lives we led bore any resemblance to the way gays were portrayed in the news or the arts.
Films such as 'The Boys in the Band' portrayed us as lisping, bitchy queens. My wrists didn't seem limp in any way and there was certainly nothing effeminate about the swaggering, fur covered mountain of muscle and belly I adored.
Outside of America's largest cities there were only the faintest ripples of any kind of movement for acceptance and equality, or even of community. Thus, neither of us saw ourselves as being connected to anything larger. There was only the two of us, and the joyous freedom we felt when we were alone together.
Still, I understood full well we had to be secretive and Roy never needed to caution me to rein it in when we were in public. That our physical expressions of the feelings we had for each other were illegal in all the states we traveled in was well known.
By the time July rolled around and the carnival pulled into my home town I had added another sixteen pounds of muscle and padding. At a weight of 189 I was sporting a musculature that was modestly beginning to show the kind of roundness that Roy's epitomized to me.
I bore little resemblance to the 159 pound string bean who had thrown his duffle bag into Bruce's trunk back at the end of May. I had to shave more often and there were even a few curls of hair on my chest and belly beginning to coarsen up.
My parents had gotten the idea in their heads that I would be staying with them for the duration of that stand. They were terribly disappointed during my last call to them in advance of my homecoming when I insisted that the demands of the job necessitated me continuing life on the road as usual.
As the time neared, Roy seemed more sympathetic to my parents' desire to have me home than I had been. He pointed out that it was only a week; that we would be together every day and our nights would resume as soon as we moved on.
However, in deference to my blossoming sense of independence he left the final decision to me. My desire to be with him won out.
Uncle Bruce obviously knew where the only motor court in town was. Identifying our bungalow by Roy's pickup, he showed up there to talk sense to me the evening we arrived.
As soon as Roy figured out who was knocking at our door he had me quickly roll around on the other bed and be stretched out on it by the time he opened it. Uncle Bruce seemed none the wiser when I rose to greet him after he stepped in.
He explained that he'd already taken care of the advance details, so Roy and I had no other business to conduct before the carnival caught up to us. This stand coincided with another day off anyway in order to get a weekend into it, and he'd saved us two days of work.
"I'm sure Roy can't remember the last time he had three days in a row off. Let the man have a little time to himself, Eddie," he wrongly suggested.
In the interest of protecting Roy's and my clandestine arrangement, I relented and left with Bruce to stay at my parents' house.
It was a happy reunion and they were amazed at the physical changes in me after such a short time away. My dad was particularly proud and frequently squeezed my added bulk here and there in admiration.
"Where is my son? What have you done with him?" he teased, genuinely impressed with the new sinews I sported.
The first two nights with my parents were sleepless. I looked around my room as I lay in my twin bed with its wagon wheel head and foot boards and felt strangely out of place. It was a boy's room. It belonged in every way to the kid I no longer felt I was.
As much as I loved Mom and Dad, I tossed and turned and ached for the comfort of Roy's strong arms. That was when it began to dawn on me how completely I had fallen into his gravitational pull. Life outside the security of my orbit around him was proving miserable.
My parents listened attentively during the third night's supper as I explained in detail everything the next day's set up would involve. I described my responsibilities once the carnival was in operation and sought their blessings to resume my routine.
They said they understood and agreed I could return to Roy for the remainder of my stay when Dad dropped me off the next morning at the fairgrounds.
Roy was already there revising the layout from the previous year's stand when we arrived. I introduced my dad to him. After one look at his hulking build my dad, like almost every other adult male I had ever seen in Roy's presence, immediately fell under his spell and assured me that he had no doubt I was in safe hands.
I tried not to seem too overjoyed at the sight of Roy in front of Dad, but in truth those three nights away had seemed more like years.
