Saturday morning saw me at Dundee railway station, walking my bicycle towards the large group of cyclists which had gathered beside the Tay road bridge.
This was the weekend charity cycle from Dundee to Pitlochry and back, to raise funds for testicular cancer research. There were dozens of cyclist gathered, waiting for the cycle to start. This was going to be a hundred and eight mile cycle, returning back to the start on the Sunday.
I had been training for this as it was quite a feat, particularly at my age. Now, the day had arrived, the sky was blue, quite warm and very pleasant to cycle in.
Once everyone had arrived, photographs were taken and energy drinks consumed. And then we were off, the shrill of the starting whistle rang in our ears as we all started cycling.
It was nice to see people lining the streets of Dundee as we cycled, cheering us on. The cycle from Dundee to Perth was so pleasant. They call this cycle route The Salmon Run because it mostly follows the river Tay, a famous river for salmon fishing. I was sitting up in my saddle, admiring the view as we cycled by. It was so easy, the road was quiet and flat, that it was most enjoyable. But then, the terrain changed.
As soon as we got to Perth, the flat road changed to a very long and steep hill, which was exhausting. In fact, from Perth to the final stage in Pitlochry, it was pretty much uphill all the way. The speed of the convoy of cyclists soon slowed right down as people struggled with the hills. To compound things, a strong north westerly wind started up, and we were heading right into it. Then the rain added to the misery.
We arrived in Pitlochry, pretty much drenched and exhausted. I had really stiff and painful legs, right up to my ass. I was looking forward to something to eat, and a long hot bath, try and recover for the return cycle to Dundee, which would thankfully, be downhill.
I followed the crowd, struggling up the steps of the hotel we were staying in and waiting in turn to check in. A receptionist was calling out the names of the people that were sharing a room. I heard my name called out followed by a guy called Graham and we walked up to collect our key cards and headed to the room.
The first surprise we got was the large double bed in the room. I was expecting a twin room. Surely they don't expect us to share a bed? I left Graham as I hurried downstairs to see the receptionist. I had to wait until she had finished sorting out the rest of us. I explained the problem to her and she sympathised but said they were fully booked now and other than trying elsewhere, there was nothing else she could suggest.
All I could think about was that I didn't have pyjamas with me, trying to keep the weight down. I was wearing lycra padded cycling shorts and you wear them next to the skin. In other words, I had no underwear with me. I had fully expected to sleep naked. All I had was a change of lycra clothing, I didn't bring anything else. I'll need to go elsewhere, I thought, but my legs were agony and I didn't fancy walking far. I can't sleep naked in the same bed as another guy I hadn't even met before.
I let myself in the room, just as Graham walked completely naked from the bathroom. I couldn't help but see him, quickly turning my head to look out the window. In that fraction of a second, it was like a photograph in my mind. I was stunned. I knew cyclists shaved their legs but he was completely shaved, every part of him.
I was no stranger to naked men but I had never seen anyone completely shaven before. I couldn't get the picture out of my mind. I explained to Graham, who was drying himself off as I spoke, that there were no more rooms available. Short of going elsewhere, we were stuck with this. I came right out with it and revealed my predicament. I wasn't keen to share a bed, particularly as I would be naked. Graham revealed a problem of his own, he too didn't have any underwear or anything. God, I thought, what would people say about two middle aged guys, naked and sharing the same bed?
I was sore, I just wanted to have a bath. Reluctantly, we agreed there was no realistic alternative and we would just have to make the best of it.