*****This is a follow up to The Dairy State Boy, not a sequel. This follow up finds Kevin in Chicago, after law school and committed to an adulthood of "good friends and casual sex." This is a casual sex follow up.*****
After Carleton, I committed to a life of "good friends and casual sex." Love was hard, and unrequited love was harder.
Looking back, I was wrong about the unrequited part. Kip had loved me, in his way. So had Attie.
But, they had not loved me like I had loved them, and the imbalance wounded me deeply. The need to protect myself from further wounds led to my new commitment.
I am now 35 and living in Chicago. I satisfy my emotional needs through Thomas, my best friend. I satisfy my physical needs through hookups. If I start getting "the feels," the hookup gets "curbed," a shorthand Thomas an I use for "kicked to the curb."
Thomas insists "everyone needs a theme song" and that mine was or should be Simon & Garfunkel's "I Am A Rock."
"You are walled off," he opined. "You romanticize a relationship long since dead that, when alive, didn't actually last very long. You hang only with those who don't want in, the straight boy in college, the married man on the down low, the coupled guy who is looking for something on the side. You never hang with an available, single guy. You never hang with someone who may actually want you, Kevin, as a life partner, not a sex partner."
"I like being a sex partner. I like being able to cum and go, no strings attached."
I had gotten "no strings attached" from Attie. I had made it my mantra.
"I just don't want you to wind up old and alone."
"I'm, not afraid of it."
I wasn't. I wasn't Thomas, who fell in and out love like a teenaged girl.
Early in our friendship, Thomas and I had taken each other for a test drive.
Of course, we were drunk driving, Thomas in my kitchen after we had day drunk a winter day and a bottle of Ketel One away. Thomas asked why we had never fooled around, I answered that I didn't know, he asked if I wanted to try, and he answered "Why not?"
We kissed in the kitchen, groped each other through our clothes, and wound up making out and jacking each other off as we kneeled on the kitchen floor. After, Thomas was thrilled, and I wasn't.
We lasted two dates and then stopped. I didn't want to ruin our friendship when I inevitably curbed him.
At 8 p.m. on Monday nights, Thomas and I met at a local eatery, where we sat at the bar, ate, and ogled Josh. When we first started, Josh had a full head of curly brown hair, a face that suggested he'd been in a fight or two, hands that suggested he knew his way around a worksite, and an ass and legs that suggested he had been heavily involved in competitive soccer.
As the years passed, Josh's hair thinned and his waist thickened a bit, but that ass and those legs retained their muscled glory.
Josh was straight, but he played along with our ogling and tolerated Thomas's flirting, even when it was wildly inappropriate.
"Josh, have you ever had a tossed salad?"
"Of course," Josh responded, not knowing that Thomas was referencing analingus, at least not until Thomas sniggered like a child at his response and then explained what it was.
"Josh, how do you know you don't like it if you have never tried it?"
"The same way I know I don't like haggis. It does not even sound good."
On and on they went. I think Josh credited me for not bowing down.
After about three years, Josh disappeared. Thomas was crushed.
"He moved one," Claire, the owner and hostess, told us. "Your boy had to grow up. He's getting married and is going to be a father."
I barely gave him another thought until, about two years on, I was at a high top alone, and he was at the bar, talking wine. I must not have taken my eyes off of him because, after a bit, he asked if he could join me at my table. Of course, I said "Yes."
"Do not worry," I said when he did. "Thomas's not coming."
"You were the one staring a hole in me."
I blushed and then choked out "How's married life?"
"Rough, can't you tell?" he asked, pointing to his now totally bald head.
He was wearing a white shirt that was open too far and that had short sleeves, which showed that he had clippered his arm hair. He was also wearing yellow khakis.
"You clipped your arm hair," I said.
"You noticed that?"
"I notice everything."
"What else have you noticed?"
"You have great chest hair."
He did. It was flat, not curly, thick without being a thicket.
"It's not as great as you think," he said, unbuttoning his shirt a little more and spreading it wide to show me that his great chest hair was concentrated in the center of his pectorals.
"You don't clipper your chest?"
"Nope. Just my arms -- it makes 'em look better -- and my, you know, which makes it look bigger."
I almost said "It's too bad you feel compelled to make it look bigger," but I didn't. It seemed too much.
He ordered a bottle of wine he was certain I was going to love. In exchange, I offered to buy him dinner.
He showed me pictures of Cora, his two year old. He also showed me pictures of Melody, his stunning wife.
"I hope she loves your dick," I offered. "Every man's wife should love his dick."
"She used to. Now that we have Cora, it's more toleration than love."
We were quiet across the table, his eyes on mine and mine on his. I smiled, and he smiled back.
"Excuse me," he said, standing and gesturing to the Men's Room.
While he was gone, I talked with Claire.
"God, Thomas and I used to sit at the bar and dream of that ass and those legs."
"You and everyone else," she answered.
When Josh returned, Claire betrayed me. "Kevin was just reminding me how he and his buddy used to stare holes in your dockers," she said.
"Back or front?" he asked, immodestly.
"Back," I joined in. "You always had an apron covering the front."
"I don't now," he said, standing and showing me the front, including a visible penis line stretching toward the right pocket.
"Jesus," I moaned, when he sat back down. "Do that again and I'll chase you to the bathroom next time."
Without skipping a beat, he stood up, showed me his line again, then slowly turned around so I got a 180 of his backside.
"You sure know how to tease an old man," I said, raising my eyes to his.
"You're not an old man," he said. "And, who says I'm teasing?" he asked, standing, whispering "keep your word," and stalking toward the bathroom.
I chased, elation mixing with fear. As soon as I entered, Josh pushed me back against the door, his left forearm across my chest.
His face was close to mine. His breath was acrid, a combination of coffee, tobacco, and the rest of his day.
"My dick is so fucking hard for you," he said.
"I noticed."
"I noticed you noticing.... Do you want to feel it?"