The sheer excitement of being with a person you have liked for so very long, who always seemed before to be unaware of your presence - even though you have tried so earnestly to make him aware of you, by trying to start a conversation with others in his group in a hope of being introduced or whatever, but failing dreadfully; feels now to be a real achievement.
But what a perfect coincidence seeing him at a Gay Pride party and discovering that he actually had noticed me many times and liked the look of me, telling me in no uncertain terms what a lovely ass I have.
I'd never been to one of those parties before, it took a lot of courage because until then I had never been sexually active with another guy and if truth be known I was like a scared rabbit, standing there wondering why on earth I had come and was it really my scene.
But I had been confused over my sexuality for some time, ever since I was dumped by Janice after a brief relationship which was never consummated, because to be blunt I could never raise anything, despite her keen effort both orally and touch to gain my interest sexually, so she immediately took that as like I was not interested in her, so very impolitely she told me to fuck off! I liked her as a person though but she wanted much more, and I simply was not ready.
Now I understand why, I would never have been ready to be with a girl and Richard proved that. Realising now I would never be ready for a heterosexual relationship , especially as my deep thoughts invariably harped toward the male agenda.
Perhaps I should have been born a female, or perhaps I was in my last life I said to Richard in our early conversation. He aptly replied that I am what I am...
"You are the guy you feel, just that, don't worry about it - you are fucking attractive to me and I would very much like to promote our mutual; feeling for each other, perhaps at my place after the party, Pete?"
I was taken back, thinking that he would easily have someone else to take home with him, he was such a popular guy and I could see why many of the others fancied him, he was like an Adonis of sorts and I thought he was really a hunk of a guy and very masculine.
After I'd got over the shock I muttered that I would love that and he replied that it was a sure date and he would look forward to it.
I was really shaking with expectation, imagining that I would actually be sharing something very intimate with another guy, wondering what it would be like, what it would feel like. It is terribly hard to explain but like most young guys coming on to adulthood I did all the experiments and I did find I enjoyed particularly putting something inside with lots of Vaseline and really enjoying the feel of it up there, and once I became accustomed to that I secretly bought myself a male anal vibrator from the internet which was very stimulating. It seemed almost a regular happening and I loved to so it in front of a long mirror placed sideways so I could lay on the floor and position myself so I could watch the vibrator enter me with a deep and frenzied squelching sound as I realized I enjoyed the feel of it thrusting inside me. Somehow that got around to imagining just how wonderful it would be with a real live flexible cock inside me. I had wet dreams and they were so real with this really big guy fucking the ass off me.
That was it, the experimentation had been lovely but I realized I desperately wanted to move on so you can imagine my sheer delight when at last things really seem to be moving with Richard asking me to his place. I can't explain just how thrilled I am and how much I am looking forward to a real life bonding and I feel we are just so compatible and perfect for each other, he said so too so my confidence was at tip top stage and all I wanted, all I could think of for the rest of the day was that very first experience with another guy, I was so very much looking forward to it, the thought of having something love and not a mechanical plastic thing that I had grown tires of anyway.
I can't really see just how vibrators in general can be so gratifying long term, I guess some use them who don't want to be emotionally involved or indulge in a close ingoing relationship or even a one night stand.
Or it simply may be that now I have at last found a guy who has the attributes well used vibrators are just a no go than you very much because I now have a real cock (hopefully) not been there yet but I know later it wont be long before I get that first taste of hard cock orally and up inside me.
