It was early on a Sunday morning. JT and I had finished with breakfast and I was cleaning the dishes.
Since we were the only two in the house, we'd gotten up nude and had our meal that way, too. JT was sitting in the corner rocker with his huge cock and balls hanging over the edge of the seat, swaying as he rocked. I was standing at the sink with my back to the door when I heard JT say, "I always knew you were a Peeping Tom, sheriff."
I whirled around. Standing outside the screen door was a large black man in a police uniform.
"You should know by now how a screen door handle works, Amos." JT said. "Come on in and sit your ass down."
The man opened the door and stepped in. He was about the same age as JT, late forties. He had the kind of body that started out as hard and muscular but had gotten padded a bit from good living. He still had huge biceps and thighs, though. He was dark skinned and when he removed his hat I could see that the top of his head was bald and the remaining hair was cut short and close. He was handsome and wearing a smirk.
I suddenly remembered that I was standing there nude as his eyes roamed over my body. He turned his eyes from me to JT in the corner and he let out a low chuckle.
"I always did say that you're the biggest dicked white man I know of." he said.
"That sounds racial, Amos." JT replied. "Or, are you saying you know a black man who's got a bigger dick than me?"
"Alright, you contrary bastard." Amos said as he sat down at the table. "How about I just start saying you're the biggest dicked man I know."
"I can handle that. There's still some breakfast warm on the stove and coffee in the pot if you'd like some."
"I wouldn't say no to a cup of coffee." he replied.
I picked up one of the cups from the drain board and carried it and the coffeepot over to the table. As I filled his cup, he had a good look at my cock and balls.
"You must be the city fellow I've heard so much about." he said to me with a grin.
"I'm Ben." I said. "But, I don't know what you could have heard about me."
"A little while back I had another couple of city fellows come to my office." he said. "Told me they were down here to rescue a friend who was being held against his will by some wild hillbilly family. Said they'd gone to save him and some old coot fired a shotgun at them and tried to kill them."
"Scott and Billy." I said to JT.
"And what did you tell them?" JT asked.
"I said that if anybody in this county wanted to shoot them, they'd both be dead and their bodies would never be found. I also advised them not to go poking around where they weren't welcome or they could get arrested for trespassing and disturbing the peace. Now that I see who they were trying to retrieve, I can understand why they were eager to get him back. Shoot, I might have to rescue him myself."
He looked at me and said, "If you think that old man in the corner is a good time, you ain't seen nothing yet. I bet I'd treat you better, too, and if you can handle that big freak dick of JT's, you'll have no trouble with mine."
"And I might have a hard time coming up with an explanation of how you got shot with your own gun but I'd think up something." JT told him, grinning. "Now, did you just come out here to try to poach my boy or are you actually working?"
I went back to the sink, knowing that the sheriff would enjoy a lengthier view of my bare ass.
"I guess I got distracted." Amos said. "I need to speak with your boys."
The temperature in the room seemed to drop and JT said in an icy voice, "Willy and Tate have no interest for you. And besides, they're up visiting my sister in Louisville. Been there all week."
"Are the Brown boys with them?" Amos asked.
"If it's any of your business, yes they are." JT said.
"Calm yourself down, you crazy old briar hopper." Amos told him. "I ask because I know your boys have been running with the Browns lately. Since they're all four away from town, I don't need to worry none about them."
"Worry why?" JT asked, softening.
"There's going to be a whole lot of strangers running around these woods today. Government strangers. It seems that somebody has been farming pot back there and the harvesting started this morning. I don't mind the government boys picking up the dealers but I wouldn't want anybody else getting picked up by mistake, if you get my drift."
"That's kind of you." JT said. "How do they know all about that?"
"Drones, dummy." Amos said. "Nothing is secret nowadays and a poor man can't make a dime. I know your boys and the Browns aren't bad, they've never even been given a traffic ticket. And I know that those Brown boys have been spending a hell of a lot of time over here lately. I thought you all were feuding? Anyway, I thought I'd tell those boys to keep to the house the next couple of days and not go traipsing around in the woods."
"And I sincerely appreciate it. The boys are up in the city looking for work but they should be back in a few days. I'll pass your advice on." JT said. "I apologize if I got a little salty with you."
"It comes with the job." Amos said. He had finished his coffee and I walked over to pour him another cup but he put his hand over the cup while looking at me.
"Are you sure I don't need to rescue you and take you to stay at my house for awhile?" he asked.
"I would have been sorely tempted if I hadn't run into JT first, Sheriff." I said. "But now I guess I'm here for the duration."
"Well, if he don't treat you right, you just come and see me. And call me Amos." Amos told me. He rose and stretched and I could hear his bones popping.
He looked around and asked, "You still ain't got this place hooked up for water and power?"
"Why should I have the expense and fuss of getting something I can do without?" JT replied.
Amos turned to me and said, "If he starts telling you that you need to go hunting and trapping for food instead of driving up to the Save-A-Lot, my door is always open."
Then he turned and said to JT, "And you be careful in that rocker. That big thing of yours hangs so low I wouldn't be surprised to hear you rocked over it."
"If that should ever happen, I'll just ask Ben to kiss it and make it better." JT replied. "Now get yourself back to work before they come to rescue you."
When Amos pulled away I asked JT, "So, you and Amos seem to be pretty good buddies?"
"We came up together. There are no secrets between the two of us. And before you ask, yes, we had our little thing together years ago. He's one of the finest men I know."
I thought about the conversation and then asked, "What did he mean about the power and water getting hooked up?"
"A couple of years ago the county came through and laid in water and sewage. Had our road torn up for near a year. There are electricity lines, too, that they wanted to run up to the house. They said I'd have to pay for the lines to the house for all three services, plus have the house plumbed and wired. I never had that kind of money to throw around."
"Can't you get a grant or something? I'm sure there's free money available."
"We don't take charity." JT said. "We're getting along just fine the way things are."
All the rest of the day I had fantasies of a big hot tub with me lying in it and of flipping a switch for light anytime I wanted. I decided to look into the problem.
Monday and Tuesday on my breaks at work I made some phone calls. Sure enough, there was a grant program for installing services to homeowners below a certain income level. All the homeowner needed to do was supply the fixtures...tub, sinks, toilet. The lady was even kind enough to give me the number of a local salvage company where they sold both new and used fixtures at rock bottom prices. I was sure that JT would qualify, so I asked that the paperwork be sent to me at the office.
When I got home Tuesday evening, I was so excited that I just blurted out what I had discovered. JT looked frostier and frostier as he listened and then said, "I told you we don't take charity."
"This isn't charity; this is a government program that gives money to people just like you. It's using tax dollars to help where needed. Don't you want electricity and running water? Don't you think the boys would like it?"
