The Hallmar Movie Rejects

The worst day of my fucking life just kicked me in the balls one more time. The last leg of my flight home was getting delayed due to an onslaught of freezing rain. Moments before we boarded.

A regular Christmas Eve miracle.

Fuck.

At this point, I was numb, spent... and if I heard that God-forsaken "Little Drummer Boy" song one more time on the overhead, I was going to

End

someone.

Fuck.

In a fury, I spun around to storm away... and plowed right into a completely unsuspecting guy.

All the stuff in his hands went sailing. Worse, in flailing to stay upright, he ended up crushing the cup in his hand, sending a tidal wave of burning hot coffee/tea/whatever splashing all over him in a baptism of misfortune as he crashed to the ground. It was like a scene in one of those corny rom-com movies my fiancée obsesses over.

Fiancée.

EX

-fiancée.

Fuck.

I snapped out of it. This poor guy was sprawling, drenched in a scalding dark liquid, and clearly wincing as he grabbed his foot.

Fuck.

"Aw, crap. Buddy, I am so sorry. My bad, totally. I'm having the worst day of my life, and now it looks like you're being pulled in to. Are you okay? Let me help you."

I almost expected him to lay into me. He was dressed sharp, and that watch on his wrist suggested he was both making bank and likely used to getting what he wanted. Instead, he just kinda... sat there. Looking defeated. Radiating misery. Damn.

It was such a vision of bleakness that I had to help him. I squatted down and started gathering up his phone, a few papers and a small bag that lay next to him on the floor. I looked at him. He was still just lying there on his ass, soaked. "You okay, bud?"

Finally he breathed a huge sigh. "Yeah. Fine." It wasn't convincing. I reached out my hand, which he took without really looking. I hauled him up. He again grimaced and shook his foot out, and grumbled, "Thanks, man. It's all just par for the course. Lemme tell you, however bad your day has been, mine's been worse."

I gave him a half-smile. "Oh no, you are

not

taking that award from me today. And really, I'm sorry for all this. Can I at least replace your drink, or maybe something stronger? It looks like we're gonna be here at least an hour, and looking outside I'm not even sure about that."

He thought for a moment, then gave a humorless chuckle. "You know what? Sure. What do they say, 'misery loves company' or some such? I was trying to be good since it's Christmas Eve, trying to keep my wits about me until I made it home. But at this point I think it's time for something stronger. You know, I can get us into the SkyLounge if you're interested. I get a companion in for free, and God knows I don't have anyone else for a companion. Not anymore."

"Ouch. Brother, I know the feeling. Yeah, fuck it... um, excuse my language."

He chuckled with a bit more humor this time, but waved we away. "Don't worry, 'fuck it' is exactly right."

"Sounds like a plan--I was going over to the lounge myself. And hopefully they'll have a better class of booze."

"Yeah I hope so. Let's go. Oh, and sorry, but can we walk slow? Part of my big adventure today was smashing my toe, and the walk across this fucking airport has made it worse."

"Aw shit, man. Here, let me help you."

"Nah, I'm good," he remarked, morosely.

"Look, it's Christmas Eve," I countered. "My life sucks, and when shit goes down like that, I find the best thing is to do something good for someone else. So with no argument,

you

are going to be my good deed... it will help me get in good with Santa."

That smile again. He agreed. And so, we hobbled off together companionably, with me grabbing his carry-on and putting it on top of mine. The least I could do.

I got a chance to take stock of him as we moved, and part of me found it hard to believe that he was having a bad day. I mean, as a straight guy I don't make it a point of checking out guys, but man--this guy looked like he was right from central casting. Quite possibly the best-looking man I've ever met in real life. Not like a... well, for lack of a better word, a

pretty boy

. His face was harder than that. More like a sportswear model, with a trim, sporty build. His clothes, now soaked with coffee, just really fit his body. Taking him in, I found it hard to believe his angry words about him not having anyone. I mean, damn. If

he

doesn't have anyone, what hope do the rest of us have?

We got to the lounge, and settled in. Given the fact it was Christmas Eve, most travelers were already where they needed to be and things were pretty quiet. We both ordered up their highest-octane whiskey, toasted the holiday, and downed it. And quickly asked for a refill. It was that kind of day.

And... we ended up having a great time. I played waiter, filling up his plate with food from their buffet. As we dived in, conversation came easy. We just... I dunno, just

got

each other. We shared a sense of humor. Riffed on each other. I think because we were strangers, and at the lowest of low moments of our lives, we could be free and open. No bullshit. No grandstanding. Ease. And understanding.

It struck me in the back of my mind how good it was just to shoot the shit with a guy. A

guy

. It feels like the whole relationship was mostly about my fiancée Annaleigh, and her semi-humorous attempts to "tame" me. At this moment, some of those attempts felt decidedly less humorous.

Our banter finally slowed. I think it was at that pause, all the bullshit of the day must have caught up with me. I kept wondering how my whole fucking life could unravel in a day.

How

she

could have unraveled it in a day.

My new friend was staring at me. It was... odd. He had the most... piercing... eyes. Not like in a bad way, just like... in a Hollywood way. Touched with--surprisingly, for a stranger--something like... compassion. A warmness. Even in his own misery, there was a... vitality to them.

Finally, he said, "You know, all this chattering, but I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Liam."

"Samuel. A pleasure." I raised my glass to him, and he returned the gesture.

"So Samuel, not to poke at things, but I'm curious as to why you think you've had the worse day here."

I laughed. "Well, if we're going to bare our souls, call me Sam. That's what my friends call me."

Liam smiled at the implication, and toasted me again. "Sam it is."

"Well... short version, I spent my Christmas Eve getting dumped. She ripped out my heart, fucking humiliated me, and I'm flying home to an empty house with my tail between my legs. Merry fucking Christmas."

"HAH!"

My eyes narrowed. "So glad that if nothing else, I can add to someone's amusement."

"Oh man... no, sorry! I just, I can't believe it. My fiancée just dumped

me

today, too!"

I bolted upright. "Are you shitting me?"

"Swear to God! Are you shitting

me

?"

I fumbled through my pocket. "Here's the ring she just handed back to me. Proof positive!"

"Jesus," Liam swore. "At least you have the ring. I threw mine off the side of a fucking mountain." He took it from me and gave it an appraising look and an open smile. "Hey, I'm just some clueless guy with no eye for jewelry, but this looks good to me. Hell, I sure wouldn't have turned you down if you gave me this rock!"

I snickered. "Yeah, the whole thing caught me off guard. I mean, like two days ago I thought we were fine. I... I still can't wrap my head around what happened."

"I hear you brother. Like, my breakup came out of left field, too. And Christ Almighty--it checked off every stupid cliché in the book. It was crazy!"

"I kept waiting for someone to jump out and yell 'surprise!' I kept checking my phone all the way to the airport, convinced this was just a prank gone bad."

Liam shook his head and bit back a big swig of whiskey. "Okay man, you gotta tell me what happened."

I sighed. "Fine, but then you do too." He nodded, and I took a swallow of liquid courage myself.

"It started this morning when..." I paused, considering. "No, I gotta go to the beginning. I always thought Annaleigh and I were the perfect couple. Completely aligned in... everything. We met three years ago, somewhat by chance. She had finished up her residency and had this promising job at her hospital. I had just started with my uncle's law firm. We were from different worlds; she had moved to the Big City from some small town, I was from Long Island. But we totally meshed. We were both on our way up, but totally there for each other. Neither of us thinking about kids right away, just wanting to get to a good place before tying the knot."

"So what happened?"

"I guess, at least for her, things were starting to change over the last year? I can't even... I have no idea what happened. I had agreed to take on this huge case. Huge. It took all my time, but it was perfect for us. Yes, obviously, I was working all the time. But it was going to be a big boost for me and we were going to be set. Extra money for the wedding, and extra security for my career. And, she seemed fine with it. She was scrambling herself, but we always made sure--I

thought

we always made sure--to schedule time for us. Date nights. Special dinners for birthdays. Last year's Christmas wasn't... fancy or anything, but we had a little celebration ourselves. I thought we were good. She never gave me any indication we weren't good."

Liam looked at me with knowing sympathy. I took another drink.

"I was working crazy hours, but we were almost done. I had worked out a deal with my uncle, who was going to give us this amazing trip to the Greek islands for our honeymoon, in gratitude for everything I'd done. I didn't say anything, but was going to surprise her for Christmas.

"But see, here's where it unraveled. Over the past month, she was getting... antsy. Not anything major, just... I think she was feeling pressure from work herself. Not that she said anything, just a guess. Then she said she wanted a big Christmas celebration this year. A

real

Christmas, as she called it. I... didn't think she was that serious, as we'd not really gone crazy any time before. I was telling her I had to wrap things up and couldn't get away. Out of the blue, she announces that she was taking two weeks off and going back home out West to spend Christmas with her family."

Liam looked surprised. "She just managed to get two weeks off, like that? From her

hospital

? At

Christmas

?"

"I have no idea how she pulled that off. I told her again I couldn't get away, but promised to join them for New Year's. She left bright and early, just two days ago. Just... two fucking days ago." I paused, still trying to process it. "But here's the thing. I was pretty much done with work as it was, and when I uncle heard about what was going on, he urged me to join her for Christmas. So, I scrambled to find a last-minute ticket to fly out to the small town in the mountains where her family lives. Planning on surprising her, everything. Perfect plan. And then...."

"And then...?" I could see Liam wincing in anticipation.

"And then, suddenly it was like I was in bizzarro world. No one is ever going to believe it. I get there, and show up her folks' house. I thought they liked me, but it was all awkward smiles and looking at each other. As I'm trying to talk to her, Annaleigh seems happy, but seems distracted...."

I took one more shot to get me through.

"And then this hunk comes in. Rugged outdoorsman, all muscle and scruff, picture perfect like he's from Lumberjack Vogue or something. And he... I dunno, gives her like a pine cone or something and she starts crying. Everyone else in her family starts hugging and tearing up. She goes running, me chasing her. I catch her outside this barn. It's fucking snowing like we're on a movie set or something, her hair blowing, she's never looked more beautiful. I think I'm the luckiest bastard in the world for having her, but I can't figure out what's going on.

"And then she drops the bomb. Tells me 'big city' life isn't for her and she can never go back to New York. She's gonna set up there, and fucking take over running this stupid-fuck small town medical clinic and fucking 'serve the community' because she's realized the 'true meaning of Christmas.' And I'm like, are you fucking crazy? Where did this come from? And she's all like since I'm this big shot lawyer she's 'freeing me to find my own destiny' and I'm like what the fuck are you talking about? But she goes on this monolog about 'small town values' and how having the first 'real white Christmas' in 10 years has put everything into perspective. She tells me--tells

me

--that I don't have Christmas in my heart! Because I guess last year we didn't have a blow-out celebration and it doesn't snow enough in New York."

Liam stared at me in wonder. "Jesus."

"And I ask her about the guy who came in... and yeah, she loves him, always has loved him, and even though he's 'mourning his dead mother' or something and he's not looking for a relationship, she has to 'be fair to me' by letting me go to pursue my life in the city. Like she's doing me a favor. I mean, like 48 hours ago we were fine, and now she's always loved someone else, tells me she should have never left her hometown, and throws her career away to work in this tiny clinic so the country doctor can finally retire!"

"I... I... I..." Liam was struggling for words.

"And the real kicker is that her sister texted me while I was at the airport. As soon as I left, she and this hunk got engaged and they are getting married tomorrow because 'nothing beats a small-town Christmas wedding.' She's marrying a

literal

Christmas tree farmer. On Christmas. Hours after she dumped me, her fiancé of two years. So I'm left trying to get home, and now I'm trapped in this airport in a snowstorm with diminishing hopes of ever escaping, and nothing to go back to when I'm home."

Liam stared at me in stunned silence for a minute, with those stupid amazing eyes. Finally, he put down his drink and started laughing. The first real laughter I had heard from him. Laughter that finally reached his eyes. And made those damn things sparkle. I stared back at him, indignant at first, but his laughter was contagious. Slowly, I joined him.

"Okay," he said, wiping tears from his eyes. "I thought I had the worst, craziest story. But I think we're pretty even. You can be the judge. Listen to this!"

I signaled for another round, and settled in for what I hoped would be a wild ride.

"I won't go into all the details, but... well, here we go. Like you guys, we'd been together long time. Known each other for about five years, engaged for the last year and a half. I thought we were happy, I mean we got along great, never fought. Both had jobs we liked and were making good money, so life was great. She was also from a small town, out in the mountains but loved it in the city."

"And then you got a Christmas anti-miracle, too?" I ventured.

"Holy shit. Like a dozen clichés gone wrong. She gets a call from family--like her Great Aunt Doris or something is suddenly in a coma and probably dying. I'd never even heard of her before, but my fiancée Hannah starts going on and on about how this 'maiden aunt' has always been her favorite relative. She owns this wonderland of a gift store that meant the world to her as a kid. Next thing I know, she's flying home. I agree to fly out there on Christmas Eve to spend the holidays with her."

"I think I can see where this is going...."

"Wait for it. So, it's Christmas Eve and I land this morning to find--surprise! Apparently once she landed, she randomly ran into this guy who teased her all the time when they were kids. Only now, he's grown up into the Town's Hottest Bachelor who for some reason never married. It turns out, all that teasing is because he always had a thing for her. She gets swept up in putting the family Christmas decorations up, finds some stupid ornament he made for her way back when, and suddenly she has feelings for him, too! And then Great Aunt Doris suddenly pops out of whatever coma she was in, and Hannah decides to move back home and take over running the gift store while Aunt Doris recovers because it's all a big Christmas miracle!"

I was stunned. As stunned as Liam had been for me. "All that in, like... two days?"

"Sam my man, it was like in 24 hours. I shit you not. So I woke up this morning, thinking stupidly that I'm gonna have a nice Christmas dinner, maybe sing a couple carols, and open our presents. I had planned to give her this rare vintage broach that she's been mooning over in a shop window for the past fucking year! What do I find instead? That suddenly her entire life has done a huge 180, and I'm like...

what the fuck??!?

"

"What the fuck??!?"

"SERIOUSLY! And suddenly, she's also hanging out with a bunch of kids in the store that she's taking over from her great aunt. She's talking up all these 'treasures' with the little rug rats and they're oohing and ahhing, and I'm trying to make her see sense... and that's when she lays it on me."

"Oh God, what?"

"That somehow everything about me is 'safe' and she's never taken a risk, never taken a chance and she can't live in this 'safe world' with me anymore... because

it isn't fair to me

."

I was stunned. "What the everlasting fuck?"

"I know right? And, now she's saying that spending time with these fucking kids in this fucking gift store has shown her the real meaning of Christmas. I mean, we were going to be a childfree couple at

her

insistence!"

"Did... did she hit her head...?" I asked, bewildered.

"God as my witness, I have no idea. But it was over. No discussion, she wouldn't even listen to me. And then her fucking hunk-bully bursts through the door, and they go into this passionate kiss. Like I wasn't there at all! And out the blue he pulls out a hand-made ring made out of ribbon and proposes, and wants them to get married on Christmas Day, just like your girl and that hunk she fell for. Everyone starts clapping and starts singing goddamn Christmas Carols! All I could do is leave. And I'm standing outside, and everything hits me. And I'm mad as hell at how fucking bizarre it is, and I kick what I thought was a snowman there on the sidewalk. And of course it's an industrial decoration made of fucking concrete and now I'm pretty sure I broke my big toe, too! So... of course I scramble to find a way back home, stuck with the fucking grand circle tour of the entire western US of A. I think I had to change planes in Chicago twice! And now, the last fight back to New York, and the flight is delayed from fucking freezing rain. Merry fucking Christmas."

I just looked at him. Dumfounded. Until I started laughing. And laughing. "Don't forget about me spilling coffee all over you!" And with that, I was laughing so hard I thought I was going to piss myself. Liam slowly joined me, and we in each other's arms, tears of laughter rolling down our faces. Oblivious to the world.

The only thing that stopped us was the receptionist approaching us. "Mr. Edwards? Mr. Nelson? I'm sorry to tell you this but your flight has been cancelled altogether due to the weather. They're rescheduling passengers for tomorrow. Would you like to try and get a room nearby? I'd say we should hurry, with the weather and the holiday and all."

That brought us back to reality. She was right; it was nearly impossible to find a room. We finally found one, but true to our luck we were going to have to bunk down together in suite, which only had a single king-sized bed. And even that was iffy, as there was a significant chance that the hotel shuttle wouldn't make it to the airport to pick us up at all.

We decided that as we were now each other's new best friend, why the fuck not.