After I left Matthew's house that day, I went straight home and lied down on my bed. I began to feel guilt because he was basically cheating on his girlfriend. And I honestly didn't want to be part of something like that. Maybe this had to end for the greater good. I didn't want to be the reason why he and his girlfriend broke up. It was fun while it lasted but I felt this was the right choice. I sighed and then sat up to turn on my Xbox and played some Call of Duty.
Two days later, I received a text message from Matthew asking if I wanted to sleep over. I knew there was a big chance I would be having sex with him. But maybe this was the opportunity to tell him how I felt. That I didn't feel so good about this. So I told him, "Yes."
He had told me to show up any time after 8pm because his mom's flight was at 7 and she would be gone the entire weekend. Which gave us the entire house to ourselves.
I arrived around 9:15 and when he opened the door he was only wearing a pair of white shorts. "Hey, come in," he had a smile on his face.
When I entered the home he told me to make myself at home and offered food and drinks. Which I declined, I wasn't hungry at all. He then sat down on the couch and put his feet on the coffee table.
"So I was thinking you suck my dick and then we play some CoD for a bit, then later we do some fucking?" Matthew said.
"Hold on," I said moving to the couch to sit, "I think we should stop this."
He sat up and said, "What? Why?"
"I don't feel comfortable having sex with you while having a girlfriend. Getting cheated on isn't a great feeling," I knew from personal experience.
Matthew rubbed his forehead for a bit. It was clear he wasn't happy about it, but it wasn't fair to this girlfriend. I had to take a stance on it. He then turned to me and said, "Come out back, I need a cigarette."
He stood up and walked to the back door and I followed. We went into the back patio and he sat on the bean bag chair, then lit a cigarette. I sat down on the futon next to the bean bag and waited for his response.
After taking one long puff he said, "Look, my girlfriend and I broke up the night before you came over."
"So you lied?"
"Yeah, I am sorry. But it's just I wasn't in a good place. I was upset. I hated the reason why she did it."
"And that is?"
"She found pictures of guys on my phone," I was taken back by this information, I thought he was just a horny straight guy. But I let him continue, "See, one day out of sheer boredom I made a Grindr account and then I had a match. This guy and I started to exchange pics and for some reason I liked it. But I was confused, I had always been into girls. I fucked so many girls in high school, but I'm not going to lie, there have been times I've checked out a guy."
"So you're bisexual?"
"I guess?" he shrugged.
"And she dumped you because you were talking with guys?"
"Yeah, she called me a faggot and said that I was a closet gay. She also said that bisexuals aren't real, they're just mentally challenged."
"Ouch!"
"Yeah, she is very conservative. She actually rallied with her Church to keep gays out."
I placed my hand on his lap and said, "I'm sorry about that, I really am. She shouldn't have said that."