The Human Condition

I left Joe turning slowly on the tire swing and walked into our shared home office and logged onto the Internet to check my email.

Yeah, I admit it; I'm hooked. Funny when you know that I made fun of Joe when he first got so caught up in the Net. I never even had a screen name until a few years ago. Amazing when you realize that I've been using computers for my work since the late 80's. Or maybe that was the reason. After all that tedious crap, I just couldn't figure out how they could be any damn fun.

But Joe finally convinced me to at least try and pretty soon I found myself addicted. I try to control it, and only do the whole cyberspace surfing, games, music, hi to my good friend, Eddie in New Zealand, one or two nights a week. But email doesn't count and I find myself checking compulsively, deleting spam and looking for messages from people I probably wouldn't even keep in contact with, if it weren't for the Net.

Joe came up behind me and looked over my shoulder. "Anything interesting?"

"The Men's Institute of Lucerne says they can guarantee to make my penis grow by 30% in just seven days."

"Big deal," Joe snorted and slid his hands around my waist. "I can make it bigger than that in just 5 minutes." And as if to prove it, he slid his hands under the waistband of my shorts.

God was I tempted, but I sighed and stepped back away from his talented hands. "Much as I'd like to see you make good on that, we'll have to leave it for later. We should get our gear together, they'll be here any minute."

Joe groaned. "Does it make me sound like a shit if I say I wish we could get out of this?"

I shook my head no. Because honestly - I felt exactly the same way. Last night and this morning had been so nice, so peaceful. Joe and me - alone, no family, no friends, no commitments to anything, but each other. It had been too long since we'd been this selfish and one night and a morning hadn't been nearly enough to make me happy.

"Listen," Joe said. "Let's plan a long weekend for July, just us."

I grinned, I'd been wondering when he was going to try and work this in. "When?"

"Um, the twenty fourth?"

I shot him a look and noticed his flushed cheeks. If you were to ask him, Joe would deny having a romantic bone in his body. But it wasn't me that always seemed to magically plan something special for us on our self proclaimed anniversary.

I frowned like I was thinking about it. Actually I always kept that whole week free, just in case

"Sounds good," I finally shrugged, pretending I didn't know what this whole deal was really about - because that is how we play this game. "It's a date."

"Cool," he grinned. "And I know just where we can go."

"And where might that be?"

"Well, Lucy told me she wasn't renting the carriage house this summer..."

I laughed. "Don't you think we're a little young to start taking trips down memory lane?"

Joe growled and pulled me to him. "Fuck memory lane, all I know is there's no phone and nobody would ever think to look for us there."

Which was bullshit and we both knew it. Before we'd leave, we'd give Lucy's number to half a dozen people and then we'd still take our cell phones and at least one back up pager. But it was a nice gesture, going back to our first home together. And if it turned out anything like our first weekend their together, both of us would be very satisfied...

July 25, 1989

I thought I was dreaming. Joe was leaning over me, grinning his Cheshire cat smile. The sun was shining through the windows and backlit him so his tan skin glowed. I smiled. I liked this dream! But when I closed my eyes again to keep it going, it was his voice that spoke to me.

"No way you bum! You do not sleep when I'm starving. Get your ass out of bed so we can get some food."

My eyes flew open. God, it wasn't a dream. Then it all came back to me; everything about the night before. I opened my mouth to speak, but Joe waylaid that idea by kissing me.

"Good morning!" He laughed. "How are you this bright and beautiful morning?" He knelt by the side of the bed and propped his head on his hands.

"Jesus Christ!" I whispered hoarsely. "When did you turn into Susie Sunshine?"

"Today, just now," he kissed me again and tried to stick his tongue in my mouth, but I pushed him away.

"Hey, no fair," I grumbled. "You already brushed."

"Yup," he agreed amiably. "And showered and shaved." I noticed then he was only wearing a towel. "Now get your ass out of bed so we can go get something to eat."

"With what?"

"Huh?"

"No car, remember? That's why I had to pick you up with Lucy's. And I know she has plans today, so I can't borrow it again."

"Oh," Joe sat back on his heels and thought about it for a minute. "Well, go get prettied up anyway. I'll figure something out."

He kissed me again hard and fast, and then stood quickly and went to look in the fridge. I could have told him he was wasting his time, but I was too busy admiring his ass and wondering how long his good mood was going to last.

Not that I was complaining. Shit, it was a relief. I'd been half worried that this morning might have been awkward. Joe wouldn't be the first guy who regretted deeds done in the dark of night.

Oh well, I shrugged and stood and only then remembered my hard-on that was no doubt making it's usual morning appearance. I looked down. Yup.

"Are you up yet?" Joe turned away from the empty fridge where he'd been squatting.

Since he didn't bother to stand, this put him in direct line of sight with my cock. I watched as he flushed, but that seemed to be the only evidence that my display might be having any effect on him. In fact, his eyes were cool and appraising, and when they finally lifted to meet mine, there was humor in them as well.

"Yeah, I guess you are," was all he said, and then he smiled and turned back to the kitchen to root through the cupboards.

Yup, I thought, he is adjusting nicely. It appeared that now that Joe had finally made his decision he wasn't going to waste any time pretending otherwise. I smiled to myself, as I remembered again how he'd been last night in bed when we made love for the first time - and the second - and the third. Nah, he wasn't wasting any time.

I shuffled to the bathroom and started the shower running. Then after staring at it a minute, I turned it off again. On second thought, I had a better idea. Instead, I shaved and brushed my teeth, and took care of the rest of my preparations for whatever the day might bring. I didn't dress though. I wasn't sure what Joe was thinking of doing, but I sure as hell wasn't going to discourage any possibilities.

I wrapped a towel around my waist and went into the main room. Unfortunately Joe had not only rummaged through my kitchen cupboards, but had also taken a minute to throw on a pair of jeans. Well damn! I sighed and went to my dresser and pulled out a pair of sweats. It was probably for the best, at least comfort wise, but I was still disappointed.

Joe was at the stove cooking something that smelled great though where the hell he'd found real food in my kitchen was anybody's guess. I walked up behind him and peaked over his shoulder.

"Mmmm, smells wonderful, what the fuck is it?"

"Corned beef hash. You had a can of it in the cupboard."

I shrugged. "If you say so, my mom always sends that kind of crap with me whenever I go home. Most of the time I never even look at it."

"Obviously," he said dryly. "I think I unpacked this when you moved in."

"I doubt it," I snorted, as I grabbed some plates and silverware for the table. "The way I remember it, the only thing you unpacked was the pizza."

I sat down and watched as Joe split the hash onto our plates, then went back to the stove and grabbed another pan and walked back over. He used a spoon to carefully scoop up a white gelatinous mass that wiggled alarmingly as he slid it onto the pile of hash on my plate.

"That's disgusting."

"It is not. It's a poached egg and it's good for you."

"Whatever you say Felix."

It took him a second, but he finally got The Odd Couple reference. "Asshole." He slid the remaining egg on his plate and sat down to eat.

I watched as he took a bite and then closed his eyes in appreciation. Suddenly, I forgot about being hungry. I was too busy staring at Joe to worry about something as mundane as food. Joe, who was here, with me, this morning - full of jokes and smart-ass comments - sitting across from me at this table, eating my food - things we'd done a hundred times before. It was all so familiar, so normal, and yet, everything had changed.

"What are you smiling at?" He asked. I focused on his eyes and watched as he got a little flustered, and I felt my heart flip over in my chest when I realized that I could make him blush like that.

"Eat your breakfast," his tone was gruff, but I could see the smile playing around the edges of his mouth. "It's getting cold."

Obediently I took a bite. "Hey," I looked at Joe, "this is really good."

He shrugged, but he smiled.

"I had no idea you could cook."

"This is not cooking," Joe snorted. "This is opening a can. But yes, now that you ask, I'm a pretty fair cook. I just never lived any place where I needed to show it off before."

The coffee maker had been chugging away this whole time, but now it gave a loud gasp to tell me it was done. I went over and fetched us both a cup.

"So that's what you're planning on, living here?" I was teasing, but he answered half seriously.

"If you'll have me," Joe smiled, but in back of his eyes was a little flicker of uncertainty.

He had nothing to worry about. The thought of him living anywhere else had never even occurred to me.

"Well, let's make it for a trial period, shall we? Like the next 50 years or so?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly.

Joe grinned happily. "It's a deal."

I lapped up the last of the hash. "But you have to cook."

"Hey, I thought this was supposed to be an equal partnership?"

"You," I went over and grabbed his empty plate. "Were misinformed."

I went over to the sink and filled the dishpan and gave it a squirt of soap. Joe brought the rest of the dirty pots and pans over to me.

"You wash, I dry?" He said.

I turned off the water and carefully dried my hands. Then I turned to him and wrapped my arms around him. I waited a minute to see what his reaction would be. He just grinned.

"No, they soak and we ignore," then I added suggestively. "I have other plans for us."

"Oh really?" Joe tried to sound sexy but his eyes told me he was still a little nervous. Sure we might have sucked each other's cocks the night before - several times. But daylight was different. And we both knew it.

"Uh huh," I pushed myself closer to him and twisted around so his back was pressing into the sink.

I pressed my groin to his and was gratified by the little lurch I felt under the worn denim of his jeans. I rotated my ass and ground in a little harder.

"Sweet Jesus," he purred. "If this is the plan, then I'm all for it."

"Only the beginning," I murmured into the ear I was nibbling.

Joe stretched his neck to give my mouth more room to work and laughed softly. "Goody. Shall we retire to the bedroom?" He waved his hand in the direction of my, no our bed.

I pulled back and looked at him. "I think I have a better idea."

I ignored his questioning look and slid my hand around the waistband of his jeans. I watched as his grin changed to a puzzled expression, as I didn't take the opportunity to grab him, but rather, turned my back and pulled him by his pants towards the bathroom.

When we got to the doorway I turned back towards him. "You still owe me a shampoo."

Light dawned in Joe's eyes and then they darkened as the suggestion took hold in his mind. Now it was his turn to pull me towards him and his kiss was fierce.

"You're right, and this time, I plan on finishing what I started."

His hands slid down over my ass and he pushed my sweats over my rump until gravity took over and they fell into a pile at my feet. I returned the favor by using both my hands to unsnap his jeans. Then looking at his face, I watched every click of the teeth register as I slowly lowered his zipper.

We were still in the doorway, but now we both moved to go into the bathroom at once and...

"Damn!" Joe laughed as our shoulders got stuck in the doorframe. "Are you sure we can both fit in here?" He pointed to the room in general and the shower specifically.

"Trust me, we can fit," I assured him. "We just have to turn in unison and make sure not to make any sudden moves." I gently pushed him into the room. "And we have to be willing to be close - very, very close."

"Mmmm, I like the sound of that," Joe practically purred.

I turned on the shower and then, knowing the limitations of my water heater, didn't waste any time stepping in and dragging my boy with me. The feeling of his naked and suddenly wet skin caused a shiver to run through me even though the water had already reached it's optimum heat. Joe was behind me and he snaked his hands around my chest and squeezed me to him.

"I guess there is something to be said for small spaces," he murmured into my ear and then gently bit down on my lobe.

"Oh yeah!" I moaned happily.

Reluctantly he let go and reached for the shampoo and filled his palm with a big dollop. A second later he began kneading my scalp. I bent my head back as far as I could and let him show off his specialty. The last time he'd tried this, I'd been too tense to fully appreciate how talented he was, but now I could feel my muscles relax as he worked the suds through my hair.

"You know," Joe whispered. "I used to dream about doing this when I was in Italy. Some nights I'd wake up and I could swear I could feel your hair tangled in my fingers. I love how it's so silky, and how the ends get all twisted and curly around my fingers."

That surprised me a little. I was still wearing my hair down to my shoulders and I'd been half expecting Joe to make some smartass comment about that.

"You still have it long, I see," there was that mind reading trick of his again.

I sighed ostentatiously. "Okay, I give up. I'll cut it."

Hey, I was in love with the guy. He liked my hair short. If cutting it would make him happy, then I could make the sacrifice. And if the truth be told, I was getting tired of frogging around with it, though I wasn't going to tell him that.

"Don't do it on my account," Joe said.

Huh? "I thought you hated it so much?" I struggled to turn around until we were facing each other.

Joe grinned sheepishly. "Well, um, yeah - I said that..."

I looked at him until a dull red stain showed on both of his cheeks. "You shit!" I said as the light dawned. "Are you telling me you actually liked it all this time?"

"Look," he pulled my head back under the water and started to rinse - mainly, I'm sure - so I wouldn't be able to look at him anymore. "I told you I was a liar. This was one of those things I lied about."

I grabbed him and pushed him back against the wall and then leaned in. "So what's the truth here? How do you really feel about my hair?"

"It's okay," he laughed, but he wasn't looking at me.

"Just okay, huh?" I got my face right into his and arched an eyebrow. "I'm supposed to believe that?"

"Yeah, it's... nice," Joe waggled his own eyebrows back at me.

"Nice? That's all you can say, nice?" I upped the ante by sliding a hand over his chest until I felt a nipple. I slid the nub between two fingers and lightly squeezed.

Joe's face immediately showed how much he liked that. "Umph! Okay, okay, I think it's hot."

"And so you don't want me to cut it off?" I rotated my palm, lightly twisting his nipple.

"Oh God," Joe sighed and pressed his rapidly filling cock into mine. "Don't cut your hair - don't change a thing."

"K," abruptly I stepped back and Joe almost whimpered. He may have been one of the slowest starters the world had ever seen, but now that he'd finally cleared the gate, the boy was putting his all into it.

I handed Joe a washcloth. "But your punishment for lying before, is you have to wash me."

I could tell by the expression on his face that Joe didn't think I was exactly a tough disciplinarian. He grabbed the soap and started to lather me up. After a couple of minutes, I wondered who was torturing whom here. He'd foregone using the cloth and was only using his talented hands on my slippery skin. He was very thorough, exploring every crack and cranny. It wasn't too long before our two rods were doing a sparing match that was going to end in both of them going down for the count if we didn't call an end to the round soon.

"Turn around," Joe's voice was husky. "I need to do your back." I was pretty sure he wasn't just talking about washing it either.

I turned, but slowly. This may sound stupid, but for the first time I realized that Joe might be ready for something more than a blowjob, and it was not an altogether happy thought. Like I'd said before, I hadn't had anything in my ass since Elliot - before that, if you meant anything even approaching consensual sex. Even with Kevin and Saul, I'd noticed how careful they were around my backside, barely touching it, which had been okay with me. Yes, I wanted it again and of course I'd dreamed it would be with Joe, but I'd never considered it would happen so soon.

Funny, I'd been so concerned about his being at ease, I'd never thought about my own issues. Now it seemed that maybe it wasn't him that was going to back away, but me.

"Joe, I..."

"Shhhh," his hand stroked my back and chuckled. "I just want to explore another side of you."

I relaxed a little and let my senses take over. I shivered as I felt his fingers brush the small of my back and then linger over one of my globes. He was delicate as he touched my surface with the soft soapy pads of his fingers, tracing skin and the muscle underneath. It tickled and yet at the same time it seemed to leave trails of fire that burned just under my surface. I realized I'd spread my legs and leaned up against the wall, shoving my ass further and further up in invitation.

So, I thought, through the haze of heat, love really does overcome all obstacles.

Joe's hand stilled as he came to the raised and angry looking welt at the top of my hip. The rest of my ordeal might be just becoming a hazy memory, but Elliot had left me with a permanent reminder by way of a six inch scar that puckered and pulled and itched like crazy, deep down where no amount of scratching could reach. Gently I felt Joe's fingers trace the jagged edge.

"It's okay," I whispered. "The doc says it will take a while, but it should get better in time and if not, I can have surgery done to take out the extra scar tissue."

Joe didn't say a word. Instead he moved in closer and wrapped his arms around me. His cock slipped between my legs and I sighed as I felt it slide into my hot crack. I thrust back as he slid forward and the feeling was so exquisite my knees almost buckled.

"Oh God," I gasped. "That feels so damn wonderful."

"I'll never let anyone hurt you again," Joe's voice was fierce, almost savage and I wondered how he much of that was a promise to me and how much was an acknowledgement of his own failings. At any rate, it wasn't something I was willing to pursue in the shower.

"Joe," I whimpered. "Right now the only thing I'm really interested in is that you've got your cock between my legs and it feels damn good! So do me a favor and just shut up and let me enjoy the moment."

He squeezed me hard and then chuckled. "Okay, you have a point," and to prove it he thrust hips into me making me groan again. "How much hot water do we have left?"

The question brought me back to the real world. I stood upright and turned to face him. "Not enough," I agreed sadly. Much as I was suddenly sure I was ready for Joe to fuck me, I didn't want it to end up being a race against a cold shower.