As I type this, I look back and can't quite believe what has happened. My life has changed totally but the good thing is, I regret nothing.
My name is Phil and I'm a 45 year old divorcee. I had married quite young, at 21 and quite simply, our marriage had run its course. No animosity or bitterness. Fortunately, we had agreed early not to have children, so we were able to part ways without too much hassle.
I suppose she surprised me by quickly hooking up with another guy and it did affect me, making me wonder if she'd cheated on me before.
I kind of buried myself in my work, having a limited and dreary social life. I was a manager in the accounts section at my work, which was in a period of growth. In fact, I needed a new assistant and was given the go ahead to hire a new recruit.
After doing a sift of the applications there were only a handful worth interviewing. One didn't turn up at all for his interview and one was 40 minutes late without an excuse, so we were down to three.
The first two were run of the mill, that would probably leave after six months. The last guy was different.
Ryan was around 20. He had a shock of wild blonde hair, which framed his button nose and pale blue eyes. He was 6' 2" and quite a skinny lad.
We began our interview, with some general questions, nothing too hard, before Ryan decided to make a statement.
"I'm gay, you know" he proclaimed.
"Really? I'm pleased for you." I replied dismissively.
"I thought I'd get it out there in case you were a homophobe." He answered.
I sighed. "Look, i'm no homophobe, people can do what they like as long as it doesn't affect their work." I stated firmly.
"I guess I've blown it though, haven't I?" Ryan sounded crestfallen.
"Not at all! I admire your candour. Honesty is something we look for in this job."
Ryan brightened immediately. "I'd do my very best for you. I promise"
Something about him made me choose him. At that point I had no interest in his body.
A week later, he started in our office, among the 4 guys and 3 girls already there. He was quick to let them all know he was gay and most were fine with it. All but one guy,
Gavin was a cocky guy in his 30's. He fancied himself as a jack the lad but was good at his job. He made no attempt to hide his disdain for Ryan and I had to bring them to my office for a 'clear the air' talk.
They stood side by side. Gavin was a stocky 5' 8".
"I won't have this kind of friction in here. We are a team and need to act like one. I laid down.
Gavin was first to respond. "Well tell him to stop yapping about sucking guy's cocks at the weekend."
Ryan laughed. "You're just saying that because I refused to suck your winkle."
"That's a lie!" Gavin raged.
"Enough! Both of you! Gavin, get back to your desk. I need to talk to Ryan."
Gavin gave a snide smirk as he left.
"Boss, I only said these things because he's always going on about shagging girls. I was just getting revenge."
"You can't talk like that in the office, Ryan. If this happens again, I'll have to let you go."
"Please boss no! I'll do anything you say, maybe even give you what I refused Gavin." Ryan said softly.
"Get back to work before you make me sack you." I reiterated.
When I was alone, I realised how that little meeting had affected me. I sat there with a raging boner and nowhere to use it.
It had been a barren ten months since my divorce and even the semi-serious offer of a blowjob from another guy had got me going.
I tried to focus and decided that a team night out would be a good bonding session.
I fancied a lady in our team, Janice, who was ages with me and who was also on her own.
Things picked up over the next two weeks and the night out was eagerly awaited.
We were going to a bar, a short walking distance from our office.
Being a Friday, it was dress-down day in the office and I chose to wear new stonewashed jeans I had bought the week before and a white branded polo shirt. I wore white trainers as I had no intention of clubbing it, so they would suffice for the bar.
When we left at 5pm, as a group, I tried to get beside Janice but Ryan got between us. He wasn't walking with Gavin and the other three guys as there was still friction there. The other two girls followed at the rear, giggling incessantly like young women do.
Upon arrival, I announced the first drink was on me, which raised the mood. Gavin said he'd help me at the bar and on getting back to our seats, who was sitting next to Janice? None other but Ryan. I knew my hopes were sunk when she turned to her right to engage in conversation with the other girls. Thanks Ryan, I thought to myself.
It was a good night though but as the clock neared midnight, it started to break up. First, one guy went to get his last train home, then Gavin and the other two guys left with the two young girls, announcing they were off to a club. That left Janice, Ryan and I. Maybe I could still rescue the night? My hopes were smashed to smithereens when she received a call. Standing up, draining her drink, she said her girlfriend was outside to pick her up.
I had worked with her for five years and never knew she was a lesbian. Ah well, that showed how out of touch I'd become.
Ryan was, not to put too fine a point on it, wasted. I decided it was time to leave too and helped him out of the bar, him slurring nonsensically. We hit the fresh air and that triggered it. Ryan threw up over the two of us, all over my new jeans and down his front. Shit! no taxi was going to pick us up in this state.
My plan had been to drop me off, as I was only ten minutes away, then give the driver enough to take Ryan home. There was no way I was making a ten mile round trip to walk him home, so decided he would have to stay the night at mine.
"I'm so sorry boss, how can you forgive me?" he blurted out, almost in tears.
