I was in a real hurry to get to the library: I needed the textbooks. I was a student at the local college and my summer assignment had got way laid and forgotten about in the heady season of long summer nights. When you are 19 years old, schoolwork doesn't hold your interest for very long.
If I didn't start work today, I wouldn't have a prayer of finishing the project in time. I arrived at the library and went inside. The cool and refreshing air-conditioned interior was a godsend. I made my way along down the aisles. I reached the biology section and began searching the racks. There was no one else about which made a nice contrast from the hustle and bustle outside.
The books on the top shelves caught my eye. A whole row of books about gender studies and sexuality and stuff like that. They were of absolutely no relevance to my project but I'd always been quite interested in the subject, issues like 'what makes people gay' and 'what percentage of the population were gay'.
I remember having a discussion with a friend - well not really a friend, more of an acquaintance, about what percentage of people were gay. He had insisted that it was 1 in 10. I thought this was just a made-up figure. I'd been sad enough to look the answer up on the Internet. It said around six percent of people were gay or bi. When I mentioned this to the acquaintance he just dismissed my research with 'most fags won't admit it'. He was a complete idiot - as were a lot of boys around my age. It was kind of depressing and I sometimes longed for more sensible minds to mingle with.
It was dead quiet in the library. I looked at my watch: - 11.12am. It would take me 25 minutes to get back to my digs so a few minutes leisure browsing wouldn't upset my schedule too much. I reached up and picked up an interesting sounding book about 'the gay gene'. I began flicking through the pages looking for chapters that would interest me.
Just then, out of nowhere, a man appeared at the end of the aisle and began walking towards me. I pretended not to notice him as he got closer and closer. I focused my attention on the book but began to feel mildly embarrassed about what was in my hands. 'What if he thinks I'm gay?' I thought. Thankfully, he passed by me without breaking stride. He stopped just a few feet up the aisle and started browsing the shelf where all the biology textbooks were. 'He looks a bit old to be a student' I noted to myself.
I browsed 'the gay gene' for a few minutes more then glanced round to make sure he wasn't watching before I slipping it back onto the shelf. I edged towards the man, keeping my eyes on the bookshelf. It was awkward: he was standing right in front of the books that I wanted to look at. I edged closer trying to eye up the books in front of him, whilst pretending to look at the books directly in front of me. I could just see the textbook that I wanted out the corner of my eye. 'I'm in luck' I thought - it was the last one on the shelf.
Right at that moment, the man plucked that very book from off the shelf and made off with it down the aisle. 'Oh-no!' I panicked. My project would be impossible without that book, but I was unsure about what to do. 'Umm, err' I hesitated for a moment. I decided I'd have to ask him for the book and set off after him, jogging down the aisle, hoping to stop him before he got to the front desk.
I called after him: "Excuse me." He stopped and looked at me.
"Yes?" he asked in a confident assured tone.
"Err, yeah, sorry." I said, a little unsure. "It's just that book, I'm really stuck with a project I have to do and that book would be a great help to me. I noticed that it's the last one on the shelf and I'd really like to take it out."
"Oh" said the man, "I see. Are you a student up at the college then?"
"Yes."
"I don't suppose it would hurt me to let you have it" he replied. "It's just a bit of a hobby for me, go on you take it, I can see that you really need it." He said, handing it to me.
"Thank you so much." I smiled. "Thank you."
"Perhaps I'll look up that book that you were reading." I blushed, a little embarrassed, but smiled at the man. He made his way back down the aisle and I thanked him for the book again.
I checked the book out with the librarian and made my way back out the library into the baking hot sunlight. It felt doubly hot after coming from the air-conditioned haven of the library. The streets and shops swarmed with people. I needed to get some groceries and made my way to the local 'cheap mart'. I did my shopping and got out a.s.a.p.
I made my way along the streets laden with two heavy bags of shopping and a textbook as thick a brick. Ok, I was plenty fit enough but still struggling in the heat. I'm the slim, toned, tall, good looking type, with dark hair and eyes - the cute, boyish type, usually being mistaken for younger than I actually am. I stopped walking, put the bags down on the baking hot ground and wiped my brow.
Just then, a car pulled up alongside me. "Hello" I heard the driver call - It was the man from the library. "Can I give you a lift, laden down with those heavy textbooks?"
He seemed like a nice man and past the age where he'd be a serial killer, plus, I needed to get out of the sun, get back and start on my project - so, 'yes' I decided to get in the car with him.
"Thank you, that would be great."
He pulled over and swung the passenger door open. I climbed in and sat on the plush leather seats. "Oh!" I exclaimed in relief, "you have air-con." It felt so refreshing.
"So where do you live?" He asked. I told him. He looked across and smiled, then said "And where do you want me to take you?" He had a cheeky grin and glint in his eye.
I was a bit taken a back but smiled at the man's joke. I decided to play along for a little while and said: 'Take me somewhere to cool down,' half-thinking he would just drive me home. He put the car in gear and drove on.
He asked me about the project I was doing and I told him about it. He seemed quite clued up on the subject and revealed that he'd done a similar project on an adult learning course about 10 years ago. He introduced himself as 'Peter', then asked me about the 'gay gene' book I'd been reading. I told him that I was just curious about the subject, issues like 'what makes people gay' and 'what percentage of the population were gay'. He listened to what I said and I spoke a bit about what I'd researched on the subject. The atmosphere in the car seemed surprisingly relaxed.
"Of course when I was your age, people simply didn't talk about it, they knew it was about but nobody ever talked about it." I listened: interested in what he had to say.
The conversation flowed and he began to reveal things about himself. He told me that he'd been married earlier in life, that he'd had kids. He told me that he was now definitely sure he was gay and how he took an interest in the research coming out. After we made it out the congestion of the town roads, he suggested that we go back to his house and he'd be able to find out his old project for me to have a look through.
"You'll be cool enough there," he quipped.
I felt ok in this man's company, but wasn't sure if agreeing to go back with him was the right thing to do. I didn't want to feel like I was 'leading him on' in any way, after all, I was strictly heterosexual - or so I kept on telling myself. My interest in gay issues was strictly academic. I did like the idea of spending time with this older man: he seemed relaxed and easy to talk to, confident without the arrogance and bullshit of people my own age. I also liked the idea of having an older admirer. He sensed I wasn't totally at ease with the idea of going back to his house and offered me a get out.
"It's ok, I could drop you off at your accommodation then bring my project round later - if I can find it." This gesture made my mind up that there it would be 'ok' so I suggested the alternative.
