It was almost three o'clock in the afternoon and I had just checked in at a hotel on the edge of town. I took a good look around the room to ensure it was as bland and impersonal as the rest of this franchise hotel. I stowed my luggage bags in the closet. I closed the blinds and drew the curtains, rendering the room quite dark. I turned on the bathroom light, letting the glare cast one spear of light but overall, the room was heavy in shadow.
I received a text notification. I swiped my phone open and read the message. It was one simple word: "Here."
My nerves twisted my guts. My hand shook and my lip trembled. A desperate thought surfaced. The man didn't know where I was. I could still chicken out. I was tempted to turn off notifications, call up room service and pretend for the next few hours I was here on a holiday. But I was tired of being 'curious', so instead, I tapped out a reply on my phone: "2nd floor, room 208. Card key is under the door. Let yourself in."
It was done then. I stripped off everything I was wearing except for a flimsy pair of boxers. I didn't want to be totally naked. This visitor considered himself straight; in chat he told me he wasn't gay but he was interested in my offer because "sissies give better head than women". This guy doesn't want to see my cock and to be honest, I had no desire to show off my organ. As I had gotten olderβI had just turned fiftyβand put on weight, my cock seemed to shrink and hide more in its nest of pubic hair. It made me feel slightly inadequate.
All that remained was to place the pillow on the floor, kneel, face the door and wait. I set the pillow between the bed and the door, and just out of the direct light streaming into the room from the bathroom. I interlaced the fingers of both hands on the top of my head like a man awaiting arrest. I didn't know if my visitor would be nervous and I thought he might be comforted if he saw me in a completely non-threatening pose. I was posed away from the light so my face was in shadow. I didn't mind appearing anonymous in this endeavour and from some of my research, the men who would visit me under these circumstances might also want to go unremarked.
What kind of men, you may ask? They were the kind that answered an ad like mine of course.
I posted a very straight-forward greeting on several dating websites: "Hello. I want you to put me on my knees." I filled in the 'about me' section as well. "Now that I have your attention, I am a chubby, somewhat hairy bi-curious male looking to play. I am new at this and need a good teacher who will instruct me while I'm on my knees before him. I will suck him to completion, and if he wants, I will suck him again. I want to meet discreet, married and mature males for oral sex only. Reciprocation would be nice but is not essential." I added a picture of my somewhat doughy dad-bod in a light that showed off my body hair. I understood some guys really liked that.
I had multiple responses to my ads. Most were time-wasters from distant cities or even out of the country. Others just wanted to chat with someone of like mind. I did participate eagerly in such chats many times, often tugging myself off to a powerful orgasm. It wasn't the real thing though and I was craving a real man's cock in my mouth.
There were sounds at the door. A card key beeped and "John" entered. Everyone meeting on these websites provides what is likely a false name for convenience. The hallway illumination backlit him and my first view of him was his silhouette. He was a stout lad, but he had said he carried "a few extra pounds" in his profile so I was expecting that. He closed the door and turned around to face the room. It took a few moments for his eyes to adjust. He threw the card key on a nearby desk.
I was still kneeling on the pillow. His vision adjusted and he looked around the room, perhaps satisfied that I hadn't set up a camera in a corner. He walked over to me and popped the button of his pants. He pulled down his fly. When he saw me reaching out to help, he stepped back. When he turned, I thought he was leaving, but instead he just walked into the washroom and pointed his tool at the toilet. He left the door open. I remained kneeling with my mouth watering while he urinated. You could tell by the way the piss sounded in the toilet water that it was expelled powerfully. When he was finished, he made no more effort to clean his penis than to shake the organ. He left the toilet unflushed but at least he washed his hands.
I could more easily see him under the bathroom lights. He had a slight gut, but otherwise he looked to be in shape for a man who claimed to be nearly fifty. He had dark curly hair and a well-trimmed beard. He felt like a man who made his living with his hands, perhaps a tradesman or mechanic. He wore a wedding ring.
He stalked his way back over to me with his dick hanging out. It swung like a pendulum. When he stopped in front of me, I could just barely see his hairy balls in the dim light. I reached up and tried to expose more of John's genitals, but he pushed me back and grabbed his swelling erection at the root. He wasn't interested in making my first cocksucking experience comprehensive; he only wanted to get off.
That was okay with me. With his dick in his hand, he started feeding it to me. My lips touched the head of his cock, kissing and nuzzling.
I was surprised at myself. Whenever I had dreamed of the moment of sucking my first cock, I always imagined I'd be hard during the experience. God knew I had been walking behind a boner the whole week since this day was arranged. When aroused, I normally drool copious amounts of pre-seminal fluid as well. Instead, I was shriveled and dry. I knew the reason. I was scared; scared I wouldn't be able to do this, scared I wouldn't be able to bring him to a finish and scared that I would be sick if my lover ejaculated in my mouth.
The fear seemed to fall off a little as I began to get into my very first blowjob. I began exploring the head of John's cock and tasted another man's salty pre-cum for the first time. I massaged his shaft with my hand while I concentrated my oral efforts on the glans of his penis. John was not oblivious to my actions. A minute after my tongue touched him, he was already groaning. I didn't want to seem overconfident and I didn't want to get him off too quickly.
I dragged my tongue down his rod and began to feather it with kisses. He seemed to like this for a few moments, but then he reached down with both hands and repositioned my head so that my mouth was once more at the tip. As I leaned in to resume my efforts on his cock-helmet, it became clear my feeder had other ideas.
He thrust his hips forward and his five-inch dick penetrated my face to the depth of my tonsils. I gagged and my eyes snapped wide open, issuing tears. He seemed to sense he had exceeded my current skills and he backed off a little, almost pulling out. Without even thinking, my tongue resumed its massage of the sensitive tip of his cock. Again, he pushed himself to the back of my mouth, but this time more slowly and not as deep. I ran my tongue along the underside of his meat. He sawed in and out of my mouth, slowly picking up speed as I tried to suppress my gag reflex. We came to a compromise in which he was face-fucking me as far as I could manage while I began to apply suction to my efforts. My cheeks hollowed as my mouth pleasured John's dick.
Up until this point, I had no time to think. I had just been dealing with the situation one moment at a time. Now I was getting the hang of this and my confidence was increasing. I was adapting and I began to realize that I liked the feeling of my tongue smoothing the wrinkled edges on the underside of John's cock. I enjoyed the taste of pre-seminal fluid in my mouth. I liked having my mouth treated like a pussy.
My dick was no longer disinterested. As I envisioned, I was sufficiently aroused to have a full-on erection as I sucked the cock of another man. I felt the occasional twitch in my penis as I thought about what I was doing.
I had taken some classes teaching Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. There I learned about mindfulness. Some people call it a fad, but it's been around for thousands of years. You can mindfully wash dishes, feeling the water and its temperature on your hands, experiencing the scent of the detergent, immersing yourself in the moment. You can eat mindfully too, inhaling the scent of your food, experiencing its flavour and texture in your mouth. The key is to live in the moment and not only will you worry less about past and future, you enrich your present. At least, that's what I got out of it.
I was living in the moment now. I had no thought of being embarrassed or discovered and exposed. I had no thought of the needs that drove me to meet this man in this room. Instead, I was immersed in the feeling of it: the spicy male scent of his pubic hair; the slurping sounds I was making over his dick; the taste of his clear, slippery pre-cum; the sight, seen through the top of my eyes, of my lover's face drawing a map of lust and ecstasy. I had discovered a technique and a rhythm. Everything seemed perfect.
And then it got better.
John pulled his dick out of my mouth. His knees were slightly bent and every muscle taut. He threw his head back and gave a mighty groan. He ejaculated great ropes of semen over my face and hair; some landed on my chest. The semen was hot on my skin. His jizz smelled vaguely earthy, a little like the smell that hangs in the air after you mow the lawn. I heard my own voice groan, "Yessss, God... yes."
When he was done, John remained standing in front of me and I quickly realized he wanted me to lick the saliva and semen off of his dick. I rose to the occasion, licking until I thought he might go hard and feed me again, but no such luck.