When I woke, I noticed that I was in my bed. Last I remembered I was on the living room couch, listening to Corey. My mind shot up at the thought of Corey. Was he still here? I got out of bed, heading downstairs, hoping to see the sleeping form of someone on my couch, but it was empty. The idea that the whole of last night was a dream raced through my mind and I hoped to hell that it wasn't. It couldn't have been a dream could it? It felt too real, but surreal at the same time. Maybe he just left early, I rationalized, finding any excuse as to his absence. I walked to the kitchen, which was spotless. No signs of used cups from the hot chocolate last night. The trash was empty as well, void of all signs of the takeaway dinner. I rubbed my face. Had it really been just a dream? My spirits fell. I had thought that there was something to look forward to now, but nothing had really changed.
"Did you really think it would have been that easy?" I voiced my thoughts out loud, a habit I often had whenever I was alone.
"What would be easy?" I spun around, surprise to hear a reply. The owner of the voice stood at the entrance to the kitchen, his hair slightly messy but still managing to look completely edible. The sudden happiness coursing through me made me smile.
"Where were you? I thought last night had all been a dream." I said.
"Bathroom." He paused, explaining his whereabouts. "Feels a little unreal doesn't it? I mean it felt good to wake up knowing that I at least don't have to hide around you." He said, walking over to me, stopping a foot away. Slowly his smile faded and he looked into my eyes. I could have melted under the gaze of those brown eyes, that looked so vulnerable but at the same time strong. He moved a tentative hand to my waist. I didn't resist, but I didn't move either, standing rooted to my spot. "You haven't answered my question if this means we are boyfriends." He said, his face so close to mind I could feel his breath on my skin.
"You didn't ask." I choked, voice barely audible.
"Well take this as me asking then." He said, moving his lips ever closer to mine, closing the gap between them before they met. Neither of us moved at first. Slowly, he moved his lips against mine, and my lips, now acting with a mind of their own, opened ever so slightly. I felt his tongue graze my bottom lip and I opened up more. His tongue entered my mouth and I could taste him. There were hints of mint in his mouth and that brought me back to reality. I pushed at his chest and we broke apart. He looked slightly heartbroken. "Sorry if you didn't like it. It's my first real kiss." He said dejectedly.
"No, no it's not that. It's just...I haven't brushed my teeth." I explained. His expression relaxed and a wave of relief washed over his features.
"It's okay I don't mind." He said, moving his head towards mine again. I put a finger to his lips.
"But I do. I'd rather not have our first kiss with me having morning breath." I said, walking towards the bathroom. I stopped at the kitchen entrance and turned around. "And if you kissed like that on your first try, I would love to see what you can do if you actually get some experience." I said, turning on my heels and made for the bathroom. I pulled out my toothbrush and applied a fair amount of toothpaste on it. As I brushed my teeth, I felt a presence at the bathroom door. I turned to face Corey and he came up to me, wrapping his arms around my waist. "Ir tryig to bwuss ma teef her" I tried saying with the toothbrush in my mouth. I wriggled out of his grip and spat in the sink, rinsing my mouth a couple times. "What's gotten into you?" I laughed, before he wrapped his arms around my waist again.
"I'm just really happy." He said, laughing as he lifted me off the floor easily. He put me down and took my lips again. This time I participated more, seeing that my mouth was cleaner. Slowly he trailed his kisses down my jawline toward my ear, nibbling on my earlobe. "I want you." He whispered. I wanted to give into his request so much but I knew it was too soon. If he had just had his first kiss, he shouldn't be rushing to be having sex.
"I really would like to, you don't know how much I do. But..." With the utter of this word, he stopped, his head frozen by my neck. I pulled him up and looked him in the eye. "Believe me I really do, but I think it's too soon for you. You need to think about what you are doing. It's no small thing. I regretted my first time. Kept thinking it was the right person but turned out I was wrong. I don't want you to regret it." I said.
"But I won't regret it. Not if it's you." He said. I smiled and shook my head. It was a flattering statement but I know too well that he was probably thinking with his dick rather than his head right now.
"You might think that now, but you may not in a years time. I'm serious, just wait. It will be worth it." I told him. He stopped and stood there looking at me. "Okay?" I asked. He slowly nodded his head and looked down. I hugged him tight, putting my head on his chest, breathing in his scent. I felt him tighten his grip around me. "But there are still other things besides sex." I said planting a chaste kiss on his lips, pulling him out of the bathroom and up to my room. We stumbled in, not releasing each other at any point of time. We both fell onto the bed and erupted with laughter. I moved closer to him and put my head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"You always make my heart beat faster. Every time I see you." He said, looking down at me.
"You have that same effect on me." I said. We cuddle there on the bed, just enjoying each other's company. I always felt that building a relationship was what made it last and I stand by that. "I always liked cuddling. It's simple but I think it create the strongest bonds in a relationship." I said, looking up at him. "It is especially important I feel when it comes to gay couples because just being together has more pressures than a normal couple would face. People discriminate, people hate. The world might be more accepting now but there will always be that little part that doesn't want to accept us. Creating that bond is therefore more important in my mind." I said. He looked at me and smiled.
"You really are everything I could have hoped for." He said and I couldn't help but laugh. I put my head back down, listening to his steady heartbeat. "Who was it?" He asked. I turned my head to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "You know...your first." He didn't look completely comfortable asking the question.
"Just some dude. He confided in me that he was bi when I came out and we had a secret relationship. I kinda jumped into it and turns out he didn't really like me at all." I said. Corey's expression showed something resembling a mixture of anger and sympathy, the former probably more toward my ex. "It's okay though. I mean when he didn't want to be more public about our relationship, I knew it wasn't going anywhere. So I was prepared when the relationship ended." I said. Corey's expression changed at my words, now being slightly more nervous.
"Oh." Was all he said. It took me a while but I figured out what was bothering him. I put a hand on his cheek.
"You know I will wait. I can wait, until you are ready. Even if it takes a few years." I said. He didn't look any better. "If it's any consolation, I feel more connected to you in this past day than I ever did with him." I said.
"I...I just...A secret relationship is...I want you to be happy." He said and I smiled.
"I am happy. I really am. I mean what more can I hope for. A day ago I thought that we would be nothing more than acquaintances, so I am over the moon right now." I said.
"Okay but..." He stopped, thinking about something. I just looked at him, waiting for him to continue. "If...you want me to...come out. I will, for you." He said. My heart swelled. That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. It was like he was giving a part of himself to me.
