By the time I woke up, it was Saturday afternoon. Even after staying in bed for close to 16 hours, I was still exhausted. The sleep I had wasn't a restful one, with me waking up every hour or so, only to be reminded that whatever happened the previous night was no dream. I felt the cold bed beside me, wishing that Corey were in its place. I got out of bed, telling myself that moping around was only going to make me feel worse. I would get through this and Corey would be nothing more than a face of my past; at least that's what I kept telling myself. On more than one occasion I had the urge to call him, just to see if his phone was turned on but I resisted. I stayed home all day, going about my usual stuff, pretending to myself that I was fine.
Scott and Zack both called me and I acted cheerful enough, not letting on how hurt I was. Scott stopped by later that evening, bringing a pizza along with him. We talked as we ate and I could see the sympathetic look in his eyes but I ignored it acting like nothing had happened the previous night.
"You know he's just being crazy now right?" He asked, clearly wanting to say that for some time since he arrived. I sighed and shook my head. I didn't want to talk about him at that moment. Scott sighed and kept quiet for the rest of the time as we watched TV. I would at least say that his company was a huge comfort. It reminded me that even if things between Corey and I weren't how I hoped would turn out, the world would go on. When it was 9 Scott took his leave. "Take care Kyle." He said and I gave him a small smile. I watched as his car pulled away and I crashed back on my couch looking at my phone, the urge to call again clawing at my insides but I shook my head once again. I would talk to him in school on Monday I told myself.
Sunday came and went much the same as Saturday. I kept myself busy and Scott dropped by that evening. He stayed away from any Corey related topics though, which I appreciated.
Monday rolled around and I honestly thought that I was okay now. I would talk to Corey, reassure him of anything he was unsure of and if he still wanted to break things off after that I wasn't going to stop him. I went to school, knowing that I would finally be able to see Corey. We had a class together that day so he couldn't avoid me even if he tried. Unfortunately, that class was the last of the day. I went to my classes and kept an eye out for Corey, walking down a hall or something but I never saw him. The optimism I felt that morning was slowly seeping away. When time came for my last class of the day, I stopped outside the room and took a deep breath before stepping in. I scanned the faces in the room but didn't see the one I wanted to. The last drop of hope I felt evaporated right there. I sighed and took my seat at the back of the class. I kept waiting, wishing that Corey would walk through the door and apologize to the professor that he was late but he never did.
After class I wanted to just go home and crawl into bed again, to once again think about what might have gone wrong. It was then that I knew why this was affecting me so much. I loved Corey and I knew I would be feeling some sort of sadness to our break up but what was eating me up the most was the lack of closure. I just needed some explanation and I wouldn't be beating myself up so much. It's the same reason I was so hopeful for the day because it was the day that I would get my answers, that closure that I so desperately sought. I was almost to my truck when I heard a familiar voice.
"Kyle!" My mind was so out of it I couldn't place the voice, but at the back of my mind I wished it were Corey's. I turned a little too excitedly and realized that it was Angela. I cursed myself for getting my hopes up.
"Hey Angela. What's up?" I asked.
"What's up? Didn't we agree to hang out today?" She said.
"Oh shit, I completely forgot." I ran a hand over my face. I didn't really feel like doing anything in my current state but I knew I owed Angela better than that.
"Hey you okay? We can reschedule if you want." She said.
"Nah I'm fine. C'mon let's grab something to eat in town. How about that French restaurant in the mall?" I asked, unlocking my truck.
"Sounds good, I'll just go grab my car so you don't have to come back here later." I nodded and hopped into my truck. I was glad Angela was driving as it gave me more time to myself. Time where I wouldn't have to pretend I was fine. I drove to town and headed for the mall, parking my truck in a lot. The mall was quiet today, which was the first good thing to happen all day. I waited for Angela outside the restaurant for a couple of minutes before she appeared. "Shall we?" I nodded and went to the restaurant.
After the waiter brought us to a booth he left us with the menu and left. I looked at the menu even though I wasn't really hungry. I decided on a small salad and waited while Angela decided her order. She asked me of my opinion of what she should eat but I simply shrugged my shoulders, after which I knew I was acting a little too down on myself. I seriously made an effort to keep myself cheerful although it did come off as fake a couple of times. Angela must have noticed too because after dinner she asked me, "Is something bothering you Kyle?"
"No why do you ask?" I lied.
"You just...seem really down. You didn't talk much throughout dinner."
I shrugged my shoulders. "So you wanna catch a movie or something?" I asked, trying to change the subject. Angela looked at me with concern but I ignored it.
She sighed. "How about we rent a movie and head on over to your place?" She suggested. I nodded; glad that I could at least go home, even if Angela was there too. We headed over to the video store and I let her pick out the show, seeing that I was pretty sure I couldn't pay much attention to it if I tried. To my dismay she got a romance comedy. Just what I didn't need, being reminded of my failed relationship and having to pretend to laugh along. We headed back over to my place, Angela trailing in her red sedan behind me as I drove the familiar road home.
When we arrived at my place, I let her in, asking her to get the movie playing while I got us some snacks and drinks. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a few packets of potato chips, avoiding the one Corey had bought for himself. I got a couple of sodas out of the fridge and carried them to the living room. Angela was seated on the couch, the movie had just started and she had her legs crossed underneath herself. I walked over and laid the snacks of the coffee table, which was a complete mess with letters and magazines strewn everywhere. I was however, in no mood to tidy up. I sat down on the couch, put my feet up onto the table and tried to pay attention to the movie but my mind kept wandering to Corey and his absence.
I heard Angela laugh beside me and realized a joke was just said in the movie and I faked a chuckle to make it seem like I was paying attention. I guess I wasn't really convincing since Angela looked over at me and raised an eyebrow. I acted like I didn't notice and kept my eyes on the screen. A few seconds passed before she turned her attention back to the movie, or so I thought. "So I didn't see Corey today?" She asked. I tensed. I didn't want to talk about him, especially when Angela didn't even really know of our relationship.
"So?" I replied, pretending that it wasn't a big deal. Angela opened her mouth and looked like she wanted to say something but she didn't say a thing. "I need to use the bathroom." I said and left for the bathroom, leaving Angela to herself. I locked the bathroom door and leaned over the sink. I needed to pull myself together. With how I was acting, it's no wonder Angela was getting worried, possibly even suspicious. I mean why did she bring Corey up? Does she know? I shook the thoughts away and splashed cold water on my face. I exited and headed back to the living room. Angela was no longer in her previous position; her feet were planted on the floor and her elbows resting on her thighs. As I walked around her I saw that she was reading something in her hand. My eyes widened as I realized what she was reading.
"What are you doing!?" I shouted snatching my test results out from her hands, regretting that I hadn't tidied up when I had the chance. I glared at Angela as she blushed. I mean it wasn't like this was anything I would have minded her seeing but I was a little pissed that she went through my mail. Angela sat there, looking at her hands where the letter used to be. I tossed the letter onto the table and crashed onto the couch. I didn't want to deal with anymore of this.
"What happened?" Angela finally asked after what seemed like a long silence. I hadn't even realized that the movie had been paused.
