It was Christmas Eve, nearly midnight when the couple settled into their bed for the night. They had tucked in the grandchildren with kisses and promises of presents tomorrow. Their excited bodies refused sleep, until grandma sang softly to them and watched them drift to sleep. There was a game of pool set up for the brothers and brothers-in-law, the four of them joking good naturedly and ribbing each other, tossing back a drink or two. The couple was smiling contentedly, happy that the family was together for the holiday, all healthy and whole. As the couple settled down into bed, holding each other after they made love, content in their own happiness, the niggling worries of a mother moved to the forefront. Neither person could easily shut their minds off. This wasn't a family that could. For this wasn't just some simple suburban house, nestled in the glow of a small town Christmas. This was the White House and the couple was President John McNeely and his wife Madeline.
As the afterglow smile slowly faded off of Madeline's face, John looked down into his wife's eyes and asked what was wrong. Her reply was simple. "I'm worried about James."
John sat up straighter and looked into his beloved wife's eyes and could only nod, for he had seen James that day too. "He's not very happy, is he?"
She gave her husband a sad smile. "He's thrilled to be here, with the whole family. He loves each and every one of his brothers and sisters and their families. But he couldn't hide the look." She chuckled. "At least not from me. He never could."
John remembered that day so clearly, almost ten years ago, when his son had come into his study at the governor's mansion. He didn't flinch, he didn't fidget, but he could tell that James was nervous as hell. At seventeen, James had the courage of many men twice or three times his own age. "I'm gay dad. I know you are planning a run for the White House, I just didn't want anything else to come up and surprise you." That something else was his older brother Sam and his excessive sleeping around. The press built it up into a media frenzy of course, but the damage was still extensive. Sam had been caught at a sex party where there were lots of drugs and willing bodies. Sam hadn't taken any drugs, the toxicology report proved it. But he had been with at least four of the women. But it was a scandal that had been weathered well. John remembered the shock and fear that entered his heart. This was his boy, his baby that he'd cradled in his arms. The words didn't scare him, but what the world could do to him did. He didn't want any of his children to suffer, and this road was going to be filled with even more struggles than any of his other children would face. He stood and wrapped his boy in his arms, sad beyond words as James relaxed against him, obviously relieved. "I don't care James. It doesn't matter. You're my son and I love you. No matter what."
John was brought back to the present by his wife's voice. "He's lonely John." Her own voice was haunted, remembering the smiles at his nieces and nephews and the longing looks that one of his siblings got when they were holding their spouse. She frowned, realizing that she didn't even know if her son dated. "He doesn't have anyone in his life. You should know, the secret service watches over him once he leaves base. All he does is captain the sub and take an occasional leave."
John looked out across the bedroom, seeing the Washington Monument through the bedroom window, lost in thought. James had gone far in a very short time. He had enrolled and excelled in the Naval Academy. He was now Captain James McNeely, skipper of the USS Baton Rouge, a nuclear attack sub, stationed in the Pacific Ocean at Pearl Harbor. He had a great tan, but little else. Madeline was right; James was alone. "I'm ashamed to admit it, but I never thought about it. With the 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy still in place, I doubt if he has much of a chance to build a relationship."
Madeline sighed and followed her husband's eyes out onto the night sky of Washington. She felt guilty for being so wrapped up in her projects to not know that her son was hurting. Madeline knew he'd never admit it, but James was not happy. "Perhaps we should get him to have more of a social life. We could ask him to the state dinner next week."
John laughed. "I doubt seriously if he'd really want to dress up and toast to the new President of Burundi."
She smacked his still firm chest, stopping for a moment to tweak some salt and pepper chest hair. "Okay, so the situation isn't the best, but it is a social situation." She stroked John's chest and looked at him imploringly. "We need to help him and this is a start at least."
John captured his wife's hand, stilling it from tantalizing him anymore. "He ships out on a three month mission on the twenty-seventh. He won't be available."
Madeline rolled her eyes and plucked at another tuft of his chest hair. "You are the Commander in Chief. I'm sure you can see to it that that trip is delayed. Say for three weeks?"
John chuckled and pulled his wife in for a kiss. "Yes, I guess I can do that."
She kissed him back deeply, savoring the rise in passion between them. "I love a really powerful man." His chuckle was drowned out by her kiss as she straddled his still lean hips and moved against him before slowly taking him inside. "Very powerful, Mr. President."
* * *
The pool game had been over for an hour, basically breaking up when Sam's wife Martine stood in the doorway and tapped her foot. Sam grinned like the devil and made his excuses before picking her up and carrying her off to one of the many bedrooms. The others followed suit quickly; this left James alone with way too much time to think. He hadn't meant to feel jealous. But that's what he did feel. It really only hit him at times like this, when everyone was together. He loved playing with his nieces and nephews and had long ago accepted that he really wouldn't be having children of his own. But it was watching his brothers and sister. They had found love. They had someone to share their lives with.
As he wandered the halls of the White House, looking at paintings and the clutter of over two hundred years in each of the rooms he passed, he wondered if it wasn't just the holiday blues. James stood in the Yellow Ball Room and stared at the portrait of George Washington, wondering how old George would have handled the concept of gays in the military. Don't ask, don't tell was a bitch, but he knew of many people who somehow made it work. In the Academy, he hadn't wanted to push it. His dad was up for his first term and all of the kids were being watched. If Sam could screw up, the media vultures hoped one of the others would too. But James kept his nose in his books and graduated with honors. Then he started his very rapid rise in the ranks, and now he captained his own sub. He was proud of his crew, of the job he'd done. It wasn't the biggest or brightest boat in the fleet, nor was it the pack leader, but it was his. He took pride in it. While on board, he funneled everything that he was into that ship. It was only when he had shore leave that he began to doubt. Those doubts were getting louder with each passing day. But it had been so long since he'd even tried to date that he knew he was fiercely out of practice. Hell, the embarrassing part was that he had never even kissed someone, let alone had sex.
James continued to stand in front of Washington's portrait for a few more minutes, lost in thought when he noticed something outside. He walked up to the window and spotted the first flakes of falling snow. His smile was near bursting and he wanted so badly to go upstairs and wake all the kids up so they could see it. But he stopped the impulse. They'd get to see it in the morning. James turned and wished his secret service guard a good night as he walked up to the second floor and into the Lincoln Bedroom. He pulled off his clothes and crawled between the sheets, chuckling at the large size of the bed. He fell asleep while watching the snow fall outside, his problems forgotten for a few hours at least.
* * *
Christmas day was a fun one for the family, only interrupted by the President's speech to the nation. For once, the family got to spend it together. The next day, James flew out to Hawaii, ready for his next mission, the holiday blues forgotten. When he got on base, he headed straight for his ship, hoping to catch his Lieutenant before they were underway. Alec Masterson and James had been sailing together ever since James got his commission. They got on well together; disagreements were few and far between. They even hung out together for a beer or two during shore leave. James had been over to Alec and his wife Corrine's house several times for dinner. He liked the man and was glad that he had found such a capable and compatible coworker. He was a few years older, and he never seemed to mind that he served someone younger. When he arrived on dock, Alec was already in place, seeing to the stores when James walked up to him. They shook hands and greeted each other warmly. They were discussing the mission when a jeep pulled up and a messenger handed James a message, calling him into headquarters.
"Uh oh James, who'd you piss off this time?"
There was confusion in his eyes as he looked up at Alec. "No one recently."
"I'll see you when you get back." He got a quick salute before James walked off. "Oh, and by the way. Merry Christmas."
James turned around and smiled. "Thanks Alec. I hope you and your family's was good too."
