The entrance to The Diogenes stood amidst the elite of London's Gentlemen Clubs but two minutes from Whitehall. Sandwiched between the Explorers and Cavalry the unnamed and unnumbered entrance presented nothing more than another marble portico in an already abundant forest. As I descended from the hansom the door opened miraculously as if by some invisible hand. As often as I visited I had yet to see a doorman or have an inkling as to the surveillance mechanism that allowed such punctilious service. As with all things Diogenes knowledge was on a need to know basis and however close we might be genetically Mycroft felt little pull to share anything more than the necessary with a brother. I have never been a club member nor ever likely to be invited to such exulted rank but as a founders younger sibling and having some reputation with the powers that be I was tolerated when either business or melancholy led me to the door.
The lobby was impressively ornate but with a total absence of furniture and the only escape apart from the front entrance was directly into the 'Strangers Room'. I ensconced myself there with a freshly ironed edition of the 'Madras Times' awaiting the war drums to relay to Mycroft's ears my unannounced intrusion. The editorial screamed treason of course, without fail something on the subcontinent was always a stir, in this instance a question of pig fat being used by unscrupulous ammunition manufacturers. Having only recently quelled the last Sepoy revolt from exactly the same unforgivable violation of Muslim and Hindu religious protocol the mighty hand of the Raj was being exalted in the strongest of terms to smite with great speed and voracity the perpetrators of such a travesty.
The usher's arrival was much of a surprise. Mycroft's usual habit was to greet any club visitors personally and I was seriously considering enquiring after his health as politeness would demand when the flunky unaccustomedly spoke.
"Mr. Mycroft begs your forgiveness Sir and would be most grateful if you would be so considerate as to join him in the Turkish bathhouse."
My curiosity aroused I was about to press for elucidation when the man turned and began to depart. Quickly throwing my open newspaper into the roaring open hearth, as was customary in the club to ensure utter privacy, I followed in some haste. The man stopped and indicated me to sit again and with some aplomb proceeded to cover my freshly nailed boot soles with disposable cotton galosh. Happy that my footwear could no longer disturb the hush of this great hub of Empiric power we continued.
Mycroft was laying face down on a marble slab humming the Major generals song from 'Pirates'. It had been a number of years since I had witnessed the full nakedness of my sibling and was quite shocked as to the extent of his now voluminous proportions. Saville Row is quite capable of taking fifty pounds of a man with clever cutting and Mycroft's personal choice of tailor was as usual with him brilliant.
"Stop looking at me like I am a beached whale Sherlock. I am quite healthy enough yet to lead you a merry dance given the will."
"I think it might be a gavotte as opposed to a mazurka brother mine!"
"Indeed, indeed. Is your visit intended just for the purpose of spreading such precious gems of badly disguised sarcasm or is a more serious matter pressing? Myself I am amidst the necessary pummeling of my flesh by these two excellent masseurs and am quite content to enjoy the experience alone."
Brother had never taken kindly to my sometimes cajoling humor. Mycroft had two moods, serious and calamitous.
"I come to the mountain of all wisdom in search of knowledge."
"You really cannot resist a score Sherlock! Touché, I am suitably hit, proceed please."
"Very well, briefly. There appears to be a sudden large influx of young men from the East in the reaches of the London Docklands, noticeably in the areas surrounding West and East Indie basins. This might be explainable by a number of factors. Maybe a sudden increase in the number of lascar seamen employed, perhaps a widening of Imperial Chinese emigre policy. Even the substantial increase in the number of soldiers under the employment of the Triad would explain. However I doubt any of those simple extensions of logic are the correct one."
Mycroft floundered just long enough to raise himself and swivel to a sitting position on the side of the slab and thankfully for me strategically place a towel over his ample and erect genitalia that dangled openly and grotesquely between his thighs.
"This is a matter of knowledge and concern to Her Majesty's Government. Indeed is worrying to many interested parties including a sparring partner of your own."
"The Professor you mean Mycroft. Don't mince words. I am fully cognizant with the ongoing arrangement between Moriarty and the Secret Service in arenas of common interest. When I survived Reichenbach Falls there was always the possibility he would also. Little wonder with the inventive genius of the Ministry boffins to aid his subterfuge. We have come to an arrangement of sorts now. A truce if you wish, a mutual refusal to look in each others direction unless the stench becomes too overpowering."
"You are learning politics at last Sherlock. I am suitably impressed. Perhaps there is hope for you yet!"
"The point being Mycroft that both Moriarty and myself are quite in agreement on one point. Human slavery is despicable and without any possible excuse."
