I laid there in my element. At last I had found someone in John who understood me and my loneliness on this planet earth. I was just so terribly shy it held me back from making friends.
I thought at first John was taking advantage of my disposition when, what I thought was going to be just a plain and simple friendship, turned out to be much more than that.
But I was so hungry for some sort of companionship I was ready to accept anything. At the time I was at a loss even to understand my sexual leaning. I had made a complete mess of trying to make it with girls, who just didn't seem to want to know and, although there was something inside me that made me aware of being attracted to other guys it was blurred and unclear.
After my teenage years I got along with managing my sexual needs by masturbation and using other means to stimulate myself in a frenzy of divine body reactions, like when I used to experiment with myself, discovering how nice it was to gently plunge different things into my back passage and take them out again. I guess I ought to have realised my true sexual leaning then but I was so naive the notion never occurred to me until much later when I met John.
Thinking back it was remarkable how I used to enjoy just being me, alone with a couple of cushions on the floor, a side mirror so could watch what I was doing to myself. Trying things like screwdriver handles gradually increasing in size and watching how my anus stretched with lashings of lubrication plastered over the insert.
Then I went on to boom handles and anything I could find which I thought may be exciting, like curved handles and things, sometimes with ridges which would make the feeling more sensual.
Then I discovered just how good was the feeling to walk about with a thing still inside. But the problem was it kept popping out so I made some sort of elastic contraption which I tied and arranged around my hind, so as to keep the cheeks together and prevent it slipping out.
I created a real nice feeling I remember and not long after that, when I discovered I could buy anal vibrators from a local sex shop it started a while new world for me alone in my bedroom and I discovered all sorts of ways and methods to fuck myself.
I cannot imagine now, just why I did not imagine what the real thing would be like. The vibrators were always a substitute for a real time relationship when my shyness always got in the way.
This way I had no need t get involved in a committed relationship, but of course I was unable to realise just how emotions can add to the sexual experience.
Looking back, I guess I was a sad guy and now, meeting John and having him take such an interest in me I was ready to take on something more than just substitutes could give me. So when he touched me for the first time in the back row of a cinema, I lost all concentration on the Bond movie playing and felt the so wonderful sensual reactions which were accumulating in my body.
"Is that nice Alex?" John whispered, his hand gently squeezing me there.
"That is wonderful, John."
It was nice feeling him fumble over my jeans knowing that an erection was beginning grow. "Feels good, let me just unzip so I can feel you properly." He said.
And all of this started with a chance meeting in Asda, when I dropped a bottle of tomato sauce and he helped me clear it up.
He said that I looked like I needed assistance the way I just stood there looking helpless and awkward and he said later when we arranged to go to the cinema, that was when he first realised he liked me very much - and now there he was, touching me like that, so very bold, the opposite to me being so very shy.
It felt so wonderful, just feeling someone else doing it, unzipping my jeans and easing his hand beneath, rubbing me up over my boxer shorts. Something I had done to myself so many times, feeling myself gradually rising, masturbating until I reached a real nice ejaculation.
But now I realised just how much better it felt having someone else do it. The cinema was quite empty and there was no one sitting nearby so I felt no embarrassment when John started to massage me and suck me. It was so very captivating realising too that unlike when I was massaging myself I could not know the next move, and that was thrilling in itself.
I loved the way he felt and teased me there, his hand delving beneath my balls, cupping them as he gave me the most divine sucking. This was something I could never achieve with just me, myself and my play things. Thinking how mad I was in trying to suck myself off - and once, using a Hoover to assimilate the feeling, which was a complete disaster leading to an injury which I had to nurse for a couple of weeks, during which time just the thought of sex made me hurt.
But now I closed my eyes and just felt the surge begin as John's suck became stronger. I knew I could not hold back and he knew it, he showed me a handkerchief and after another short sucking he wrapped it around my erection and found a delightful way to jerk me off to oblivion and soon I was there, so full and strong. John's hand gradually slowed and I still felt the surge.
He whispered it was wonderful and I knew then I could no longer be happy with just myself and I, because John had really brought me out and we were about to share a whole new and wonderful relationship together.
I zipped myself up and felt good and so happy. But I wanted to do something for him, but he would not let me. Instead he suggested that we leave for his place and then we could really relax and discover each other completely.
I did like the sound of that. It was like all my former inhibitions which were mainly due to my acute shyness were quickly dispersing and I was starting to think how stupid I had been, that I had missed so much in my adolescence because of it. But now was the time to put all that to rights and who better with than divine, wonderful John who had really showed me just how right and good it was to be with another who shared equal aspirations.
He gave me another quick squeeze as I arose from my seat which was so heavenly. It made me feel wanted and desired and already the emotions were coming into the picture. It was one thing to be satisfied physically but it was the full works knowing I was now emotionally involved too.
John wanted me to understand that. He wanted me not just for my body but for the person I was. That somehow he found my shyness very attractive and sexual.
He was some lovely guy and driving home with him in the driver's seat I felt right. I knew what all this was leading too and wanted that. Somehow my whole system was geared up to it.