Chapter 15: Yes.
"Okay, so that makes...fourteen shows next week then." Amy confirmed.
"Oh, add the one I'm doing for Vida. Makes fifteen." Tyler added, reminded Amy of the show they promised at the
Lions' Den
.
"Fuck, that means we'll have to move the gig on campus." Amy checks the book. "Unless you think we can get all the way up to MLK in ten minutes."
"We can make it work, have Kaylee do a longer set. We can do both." Tyler goes through his own schedule to make sure he isn't missing anything. "I've got a lunch shift the next day though, so I'll have to leave right after."
"You're quitting soon right?" Amy asked as she penciled in some more things and typed away on her laptop.
"As soon as I can." He replied.
"You know, considering we now don't have a lot of bills - thank you Clark - we can both afford to quit our jobs. I'm put my two weeks in next Monday." Tyler gave Amy a look at the reference.
"I still want to make sure I'm carrying my weight." Tyler assured. "I had to fight Clark tooth and nail nearly to pay the water bill. Do you know how much a water bill at
The Avenue
is?"
"No."
"Triple digits Amy, triple digits."
"How much do y'all fuck in the shower?"
"Not as much as you'd think actually?" Tyler rolled his eyes and took a sip of his drink.
"Oh? Trouble in paradise?"
"Actually a little." Tyler groaned his frustration. "Ever since we fought over the whole Jason debacle, and him being wrapped up in some big project at work, we've been arguing almost every day. Well, the days we see each other anyway. By the time I'm getting home from work, he's getting up for the day. Then I'm off to work at the restaurant before I go out until three am, and repeat and repeat and repeat."
"Have you tried maybe not arguing about it?" Amy tried to diffuse.
"Amy."
"Sorry, I just - I really don't know how to help you here. I get your frustration about him shoving money at you, but I don't at the same time. Let him be your sugar daddy sis." She closes the books and laptops.
"It's not about the money really. At least not
all
about the money." Tyler leans back in his chair and lets out a long breath. "I feel like he's put a leash around me, or bought me from a department store. He's given me things that, yes I truly appreciate, but also make me feel smothered. Like I have to stay because I owe him, not because I love him."
"But you do love him right?"
"Of course I do, it's just this fear, this ball of anxiety I've got in the bottom of my stomach that...that I have to stay with him, not matter what because he bought me a car, bought me this apartment."
"Technically he bought me this apartment."
"Not the point, he just keeps opening doors for me that I don't know if I deserve to walk through."
"Imposter syndrome, I heard about it on a podcast." Amy nodded. "Look, Ty, he bought you a car. Yes, insane of him to do. He bought this apartment; I will say not as insane however because it was also a business decision on his end. But this also kind of how relationships work, the people take care of each other."
"But what do I do? Contribute? How do I take care of him?"
"I hear you give great head."
"Amy I'm serious."
"Do you love him?" Her tone gets serious and Tyler nods. "Then maybe that's all you need. He needs." She corrects. "People require different things; they offer different things. Maybe to him, an equal partnership is him spoiling you, and you giving him the best head."
"Amy."
"Sorry, but you get my point right?"
"I suppose, but it's just...what if I can't?" He asks.
"Can't what?"
"Accept his 'style' of love."
*****
Tyler and Clark sat in the shade in Zilker Park. Clark had brought them here on his day off and it was such a nice day. He'd prepared a picnic. Sandwiches, chips, sodas. Grapes. He thought it would be cute to feed them to each other. It had been. It had been sweet. The date had been wonderful, it had made Tyler forget the argument they'd had the night before.
"I love you." Clark said. He had been staring at Tyler, and Tyler hadn't noticed. Until now.
"I love you too." Tyler responded, turning his attention away from the parents playing catch with their children nearby. "Are you staring at me?" He asked.
"I am."
"Why?"
"Because you're beautiful."
"I know I am." Tyler rolled the compliment away with a joke. Clark still sometimes made him uncomfortable with his adoration. "You are too, not as hot as me. But still quite the looker." He reached over and pinched Clarks cheek playfully. Clark caught Tylers hand before he took it away.
"I love you." He repeated, squeezing Tylers hand. Running his fingers over his.
"I know." Tyler stated, he saw something in Clarks eyes. "I love you too. What is it?"
"Do you know why I love you?"
"Uh...because I have a big, juicy ass and a tight gorilla grip puss puss."
"I'm being serious." Clark reached over and tucked some of Tylers hair behind his ear.
"Then I don't know." Tyler conceded.
"Because you are kind, funny, sweet, and way more forgiving towards me than you should be." Clark said. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."