The Therapist

During the next session I found myself telling Erin how disappointed I was with my body. That I felt like I had gotten lazy and lost focus. He reassured me that if I was willing to commit to it, he could recommend a trainer he worked with.

He noted that this trainer wasn't inexpensive, but that I would get a discount on the trainer's services if Erin referred me. I said fine and we went on with the rest of the session, which I don't remember much of. When I try to remember exactly what we talked about it just seems to slip out of my grasp.

The next day I was at work and received a group text from Erin, introducing me to Alex, the trainer. The text included only the briefest of details and Erin then left us to connect on our own.

I appreciated him following through. My wife was enthusiastic about my signing up with this trainer, so II set up an appointment for later in the week, Alex' first available.

The "no-energy" aspect also applied to my work, where Michael was a god-send, covering for me when necessary and spending time he likely didn't have to spare with me. As much as I appreciated and needed his help, it was also now clear to me that I was aroused every time he was near me. His scent reminded me of something but I couldn't remember what.

He'd started touching me more during the last couple of weeks. Initially it was pats on the shoulder or back; then it progressed to a pat on my ass; one time we were going to lunch and he put his hand on the small of my back as we got into an elevator.

The memory of his hand on my back lingered with me. I leaned back into his hand just a little. It felt so good to be directed by him. Part of me wanted him to put his hands on my shoulders and push me to my knees.

I was still unable to make eye contact with him unless it was absolutely required. I would start to say something and then stop, distracted. He seemed to take great pleasure in my discomfort around him.

The day for my appointment with Alex arrived and I got to the gym a few minutes early to fill out the paperwork. As Alex and I had only texted, I was surprised Alex was a woman. We shook hands and started on the paperwork, talking about my goals. She asked about my diet, sleep, work, and more. I blushed a little when she asked about my sex life. I muttered something about not doing so well lately and having little energy or desire to take care of my wife's needs.

She smirked and said something under her breath that I didn't catch as I was glancing through the gym's paperwork. The price was surprisingly reasonable -- Alex noted that she had a referral exchange with Erin and left it at that.

I expected the first session to be used for finding my current strength and limits and discussing goals. How wrong I was.

We did 60-second interval sessions ranging from Romanian Deadlifts to rows to kettlebell swings. When we finished those she had me on the treadmill with an increasing incline. By the time Alex started winding down the running my legs were jelly. She told me she'd see me on Saturday morning.

The hot water of the shower felt so good; still other men started coming into the shower. I could not keep from blushing or make eye contact. I finished and walked out of there as quickly as I could, which wasn't very fast.

I dried and dressed. As I left the locker room, I saw Alex across the gym with another client; she saw me and smirked, then went back to working with her client. I was left wondering about her reaction as I headed to my car.