The Ultimate Muscle Hun Challenge

One night I was really bored and I flipped on the TV. It had been a few years since I'd watched any TV show religiously, and I wasn't even sure there was anything good on. "500 channels and nothing to watch," I mused to myself as I flipped through the channels lazily. But then, just as I was about to give up, I saw a brief scene of two shirtless, heavily-muscled guys locked in a bear hug, apparently attempting to wrestle one another to the ground. It was the opening credits scene of some new reality TV series. As more scenes flashed by - a half-naked man straining to lift a huge bar-bell, a shirtless hunk hanging from gymnasium equipment, and an oiled bodybuilder posing in front of a roaring audience - my interest was piqued.

The credits sequence ended, and the camera zoomed in on a stage where two men in business suits stood holding microphones.

"Welcome everyone to THE ULTIMATE MUSCLE HUNK CHALLENGE," stated one man, clearly one of the show's announcers. He was tall, dark, and ruggedly handsome. His cocky, tanned face started getting me hard. "I'm Alex Matthews."

"And I'm Scott O'Donnell," began the other man. This guy was shorter than Alex Matthews, and a blonde, but he was in my opinion equally handsome. His teeth were very white, and he grinned as he spoke. "This, our third season, promises to be our most exciting ever as we hunt for the ultimate muscle hunk." Third season? How did I never hear of this show?!

"That's right, Scott," said Alex. "This year, the competition is stiffer than ever, as four muscle hunks will take the challenge, and a combination of judges' scores, studio audience participation, and home viewers' votes will determine who will become the ultimate muscle hunk, with a shot at winning a half a million dollars at stake."

"Now let's go ahead and introduce this season's four contestants," said Scott, "Starting with Peter Cox, a 20-year-old male model from Riplinger, Wisconsin." As the announcer spoke, the camera changed to a view of a man, who must have been Peter, walking down a staircase to the stage floor. He was a short-haired brunette man, very handsome, wearing a low-cut blue tank top and matching blue posing trunks, blue athletic sneakers... and nothing else! My cock was hard in my pants as I watched this hunky half-dressed man advance to the center of the stage where the announcers were standing. The studio audience cheered as this heavily-muscled young man walked across the stage. As he reached the judges, Peter flexed his arms in a double bicep pose. His huge arms were amazing, and his spread lats bulged with muscle. The audience roared. A close-up shot of his face showed how achingly beautiful this man was. His high cheekbones that looked like they could cut glass, his striking blue eyes, his tanned, beautiful skin, his short-cropped hair... the man was stunning.

"Welcome to The Ultimate Muscle Hunk Challenge, Peter," Scott (the blonde announcer) said. "The show's producers have put together a short video clip to introduce you to the studio audience and to the viewers at home."

The scene switched to an obviously pre-recorded scene of (unfortunately, fully-clothed) Peter sitting on a weight bench, doing biceps curls with what looked like very heavy barbells, then a tighter shot of him facing the camera. "Hi, I'm Peter Cox, I'm a 20-year-old male model, and I'm from Riplinger, Wisconsin," he stated (unnecessarily, as the announcers had already stated this). Then the scene switched to candid shots of Peter working out and doing a photo shoot. In a voiceover, Peter stated, "Although I'm from Wisconsin, I recently moved to Hollywood to pursue my career in modeling. I spend a great deal of my day maintaining my body, working out, and spending time at the gym." Then a shirtless scene of Peter is shown... fuck he is hot... he's in some photo shoot, posing in a pair of blue jeans and nothing else, smiling rogueishly at the camera. His jeans are unbuttoned, and, although it's hard to tell, and the scene is very brief, there's no sign of his underwear (I couldn't see anything, though). Then the voiceover says, "I hope that this year's experience on the Ultimate Muscle Hunk Challenge will show that a small-town boy from Wisconsin can become the Ultimate Muscle Hunk."

The audience cheers as the scene goes back to the studio. One of the announcers, Alex, says, "Now let's introduce contestant number two, Rod Dixon, an 18-year old rancher from Dumont, Texas."

From the back of the stage, a second man appears. As he walks down the stairs, it is apparent that he is a blonde stud. His thick muscles bulge as he walks down the stairs confidently in a red tank top, red posing trunks, and red sneakers. "This guy is just 18?" I think to myself, amazed. It's a little hard to believe. He's incredibly built, muscle on top of muscle. His low-cut tank top can't really conceal his incredibly thickly-developed pecs, and his arms are veiny and huge.

As Rod approaches the announcers, he passes Peter, and strikes his own double biceps pose. Peter, not willing to be outdone, stikes his own pose, and the two contestants vie for the studio audience's attention. The crowd cheers as first Rod, then Peter, flex harder and harder, their biceps bulging, their thick necks getting veiny with the strain of flexing so hard. The studio audience loves it, and at home, my dick stands at attention, straining for release in my pants. These two men are HOT, and the audience is eating it up.

"We'd like to welcome Rod to the show. The producers have prepared a short clip," says announcer Scott, smiling. "Let's watch."

Again the camera goes to a pre-recorded segment, this time of Rod sitting in a rustic-looking living room. "Hi America, I'm Rod Dixon, I'm 18 years old, and I'm a rancher in Dumont, Texas," he says. Then there are candid shots of Rod, with a voiceover. Over a shot of Rod walking down a small-town street, Rod's voiceover states that he is a Christian, and he goes to church every Sunday. "But I spend the rest of my week workin' hard on my ranch," he says. Then a nice shot of Rod, shirtless, pitching hay, his amazing pecs bulging as sweat trickles down between the two huge mounds. Rod is shirtless, a gold crucifix visible between his huge pectoral mounds. the voiceover says, "I'm going to prove that a Christian guy from the Lone Star State can win this competition and earn that half-million dollar prize!"

The audience cheers as the camera goes back to the Ultimate Muscle Hunk Challnge state, where Rod and Peter are still attempting to out-flex one another.

"Now it's time to introduce contestant number three," says announcer Scott. "Here he is, from New York City, New York, 28-year-old bodybuilder and former longshoreman Jack Offerman."

From the back of the stage comes a huge (really huge!) man. He's wearing a white tank top, white posing trunks, and white tennis shoes. Jack's white outfit is offset by his incredibly dark tan. But it's his bulging muscles which really attract my attention. As he strides confidently down to the audience, the camera zooms in. He's got a square jaw, a muscular face, and short-cropped red hair. As he reaches the other two half-naked studs, it's clear he towers over these two. He pulls a double biceps pose of his own, then transitions to a side chest pose, his thick pecs threatening to rip his stretched white tank top. His development is awesome, and he looks like a pro bodybuilder. The audience cheers wildly.

"Let's go to the clip," Scott says. The camera changes to a pre-recorded scene of Jack, posing in a bodybuilding contest. He's wearing a pair of green posing trunks and nothing else. His body glistens with oil as he flexes on a stage. A voiceover states, "I'm Jack Offman, and I'm a 28-year-old bodybuilder from New York." More gorgeous scenes of Jack posing in next to nothing flash across the screen, as Jack states he wants to win the competition because he knows he's "the sexiest fuckin' muscle hunk in America."

I was shocked to hear the F-word uncensored on TV. What happened to Carlin's 'seven words you can't say on TV'? When did that rule change?! But I didn't have time to wonder about that too long; the show had gone back to the stage and the announcers were talking again.

"And finally, our fourth contestant, 30-year-old bodybuilder and actor Richard Hardman," says Alex.

Down the staircase comes another hugely muscled man. He is wearing a gold tank top, so low-cut that you can see all the way to his second row of abs. It's an impressive sight. He's wearing a matching pair of posing trunks, and gold sneakers. His head is shaved completely. He reaches the row of contestants and strikes a double biceps pose for the audience as well. He's incredibly hot.

"The Ultimate Muscle Hunk Challenge would like to welcome Richard to the competition," Says announcer Alex. "Here's a short clip that the producers put together about Richard."

Back to the tape. "Hi, I'm Dick Hardman. I'm a 30-year-old actor and bodybuilder from Muscle Beach, California." Candid shots of Dick on a beach, posing in a tiny silver speedo are shown while a voiceover states that Dick spends his days on the beach and his nights working out at the gym. He claims to have had several starring roles in films, but I've never heard of this guy. The clip finishes with a shirtless Dick, holding two beach balls claiming "I'm going to win the Ultimate Muscle Hunk Challenge because I'm the only man who's got the balls to win this competition!" Cute. Also: hot!

The audience cheers at the double entendre as the camera goes back to the stage. The four hunks are lined up, posing in a "relaxed" pose (which is not at all relaxed, if you know what a "relaxed" bodybuilding pose is): Peter Cox, the 20-year-old model in blue; Rod Dixon, the 18-year-old ranching hunk from Texas in red; Jack Offerman, the 28-year-old bodybuilder from New york in white; and Dick Hardman, the 30-year-old actor and bodybuilder from California in gold.

"We'll go to a quick commercial break," says co-host Alex. "But don't go away; when we come back, the competition begins with stage One of our Ultimate Muscle Hunk obstacle course. Can any of these four men prevail? Find out right after these messages!"

To be continued...