Reality came back slowly to Caiden. He raised his head and took a deep breath, fighting the nauseous feelings that threatened to overtake him but a gentle hand pushed him back down, accompanied by a soothing voice.
"Take it easy. You can't get up just yet." Michel's concerned face came into focus and he laid a cool cloth on Caiden's forehead. "You have to let the blood come back gradually or you will pass out again."
"What happened?"
"You were looking at the sketch of you and Hardy and you just pitched forward." Michel said softly. "Is this the first time you've been back to the apartment since Hardy died?"
Tears welled in Caiden's eyes and he rolled away from Michel, embarrassed at the show of emotion. "Yes."
"That explains why I haven't heard any footsteps up here since then." He took the washcloth away, staring at Caiden's back. "I can't imagine what you're going through, Caiden, but I hope that you know that Hardy was very much in love with you."
Caiden turned back over, gazing into Michel's eyes. "Tell me about him."
Michel cleared his throat, rubbing his face. "I met Hardy when he moved in. He was trying to carry that huge aquarium up the stairs and I offered to help him." His face softened and a smile touched his lips. "He was so good-looking, Caiden. He just took my breath away." He paused, touching Caiden's shoulder. "But he was very quick to tell me that he was taken." Michel's eyes fell upon the partially-hidden portrait he had taken months to complete and perfect. "He called you his 'Starry Boy'. He told me that he'd never met anyone like you."
Caiden listened to Michel's words, his heart breaking into a million pieces as the descriptive words limned his dead lover far better than the artist's elegant strokes had. He drew a picture of how an outside might see Hardy: strong and unbreakable, loving and confident. It was so good to hear that someone else had seen what he'd seen in Hardy. "He was the love of my life, Michel. I'll never love anyone like that again."
"You will when you're ready." He stood and held out his hand. "Come on and sit up. Slowly." He watched as Caiden sat up, breathing deeply and noted that the color had returned to his face. "It takes a while to work through pain, especially when you've suffered a loss like this."
"No." Caiden arose and went to the window, putting his hand against the glass as he looked toward Ground Zero. "I'll never love anyone like that again."
"Then your heart will be an unused room and you'll be lonely for the rest of your life."
Caiden heard the words but they didn't sink into his mind. He reached into his pocket and thumbed his phone into operation, raising it to his ear. As Hardy's last words to him filled his ears and his throat ached with tears, Michel quietly let himself out, praying that Caiden would understand the enormity of his decision.
