I lay back down on my side of the mattress, the cover sheet wraps around my legs, it pull completely off dad. Rolls over, the cool air meeting his warm skin. He slowly lowers his formidable frame down his side of the mattress as I turn again onto my side to face the blank wall a few feet away.
Moonlight filters into the room, shadows of our bodies cast upon the wall. One figure, that's all I can make out, yet there are actually two full sized figures between summers moon and that master bedroom wall.
I'm so nervous, anticipation, maybe even a little scared to death of what I am beginning to imagine might come to be in just a few short hours. Lays still, quiet, I listen intently for the familiar sound, the comforting deep rhythmic drone of Dad's light snores.
He's fallen asleep so very quickly yet I'm anxious, all jittery inside. Unable to force myself to sleep, I try to clear my mind only to find that this is simply useless. Fidget's a little more as the minutes pass. Every sound that normally would have gone unnoticed seems to be amplified, crickets, creaks of the house as it settles in for the night.
My imagination winds me up to the point that I convince myself to stay in bed, not get up to do some work on the sheet rock. Knowing dad and I are going to be tackling this huge job all weekend.
No, I have to lay here, act normal. I'm not going to wake dad up, he's worked himself ragged all week, the little sleep he can catch is something I have to afford him, even if I am about to go off the deep end.
I don't even know when I had dozed off, being awakened by the ringing of the small plastic wind up alarm clock on the floor next to dad's side of the bed. I roll over, realized he's not there. I have to stop that clanging noise, get myself up, find out what this morning is going to bring our way.
6:05? 6:05? Why did he let me sleep in this late? Is he upset with me about what happened last night? My stomach drops, waves of nausea wash over me, sweat breaks out all over my body. Shaking, I slapped the top button of the alarm to it's off position, near silence, that is if you do not count the thumping of my own heart.
Tosses off the top sheet, grabs my work shoes, leans against the back wall in order to pull them on without having to tie them up, laces left dangling. I pull a dirty T-shirt worn the evening before over my head. Walks to the partially closed bedroom door, steps out into the hallway.
Stands for a moment, listens for sounds of running water, any movement at all. Not a sound, not a single peep meets my ears. I head into the kitchen to find that it too is abandoned.
The table had been set with a few napkins, two mugs, empty at the places where we sit and eat our donuts, drink coffee before getting to the tasks of the day.
Compelled to confirm that dad had left, gone into town to get supplies, I head into the living room and stand in front of the large picture window. There is no dad, no truck, he must have gotten up and decided to get an earlier start.
While I was staring blankly out of the expansive front window, taking in everything and nothing of the green forest that surrounds the property the Vacation House, I notice movement off in the distance. Dad's pick-up rounds the corner of the dirt driveway. His dirty truck comes to a stop right in front of the walkway, he jumps out, his arms laden down with brown paper bags. He kicks the drivers door closed with the bottom of his work boot, turns his back to the truck, heads to the front entrance of the house.
I rush to the door, nearly trip on the overturned milk crate foot stool. I unlocked the door handle, opens it. Dad walks in, I closed the door behind, follows him into the kitchen. He puts the bags on the partially finished kitchen counter, sets his Thermos of hot coffee down. He reached into one of the bags, removes a folded up newspaper, tosses it several feet across the kitchen, it lands nearly perfect, just where he enjoys his coffee and donuts.
"So, are you ready to get things started Robbie?"
Dad's words come as a complete shock to my system, he so rarely speaks in the morning, almost never before he's had his coffee? NEVER!
Not sure of what exactly had occurred the night before, I'm deathly afraid of just coming out and blurting something that might have taken way out of context, totally miss-understood. I figure if I just respond with ambiguous comments, I might be safe.
"What ever you want dad, I'm up for anything you think we should do today."
Hears myself saying this but not sure that I didn't just come across as an idiot.
"Robbie, if you are having cold feet about last night, I'll understand, we don't ever have to talk about it, ever again. This is your baby, I'm going along for the ride to see where it leads us at this point, got me?"
I didn't dream or imagine what I thought had happened, I'll have to make the first move. My nerves turn to inner strength, go for it Robbie, just go for it.
"Yes, dad, you've got it. Where do you figure we should do this?"
Boy that sure sounded like the most lame thing ever!
"Robbie, let's go into the living room, I think that's were we should get this started."
Dad turns on his heals, walks toward me, takes my hand into his own rough paw, gives it a tight squeeze as I am being pulled into the expansive, sparsely decorated room. We approach the folding chair dad sits in to relax. I see a shadow of him, his pony beer in hand after a long days labor. He gazes into my eyes, not flinching nor blinking, his pupils are large, BLACK, as they fill the entire area between his top and bottom eyelids.
He settles himself down in the folding chair, pats his thigh which is covered with his well worn tan work pants. He wiggles himself back into the seat, assures himself of a stable seated position.
I open my mouth, began to speak, yet only a few words came out before I am cut short.