The front door closes securely behind me, I make my way to the passenger door of dad's pick-up. Grabs the handle, opens my door, hops in, places the small cooler chest along with the wrinkled bag of clean cloths onto the floor. It hits me right away, it's cool in here, it's never cool. The air conditioning is set to high, blows wonderful, refreshing air out of every vent.
I look over at dad, this is just so out of character for him. Expecting the rancid smell of sweat mixed with stale cigar smoke, coupled with humid heat that comes along with the closed up cab. Instead of reaching for the handle to take down the passenger window, I turn a vent toward the ceiling, it's blowing a bit too hard at my face. My eyes dry out as the moisture is drawn from their surface.
What I see in dad's face causes great concern. His head is being held low, he fidgets with something in his hands. His attention is not being directed toward me or the exit from the driveway, we are still parked. The motor is running a little bit rough, the A/C blowing at full blast. Condensation develops on the lower part of the windshield. It must be 92 degree's outside, maybe no more than 65 inside pick-up. Dad's voice finally breaks the weird tension.
"Robbie, there is really no good or easy way to say this, so, I'm going to just get it out there in the open. First off, this has absolutely nothing to do with you or your sister, nothing that either of you could have done to prevent it, nothing at all. If anything, the two of you were the reason that things have gone on as long as it has."
Ominous, that is the only way I see this, it feels as if a shoe were just about to drop but how big of a shoe?
"Your mother and I have discussed this for some time, we have both come to the agreement that we are ready to move on in our lives and that we are going to get a divorce. We are parting as friends, we just can't live together any longer. Your mother has been offered a fantastic job as the head of nursing at the hospital, we know that that is something she,s has wanted her entire life. It will give her the security that she needs and deserves."
Stunned by the admission of what seems to be an amicable split between my parents. My entire life is to be dissolving into a pool of mud. Unable to see things clearly, my stomach dropped into my groin, my lunch rises up into my throat. Not sure if I'm going to hurl or pass out from dizziness. Leans against the passenger door, coolness of the glass presses against the burning in my cheek and the pounding in my head.
"Robbie, you are of the age that if you wish to move out on your own, we will be there for you. We will even pay for a place if that is what you want. Your schooling is our priority, this changes nothing about how we are here for you. Mom already spoke with Ashley about this earlier today, she was offered to stay with your mother here in Rhode Island or the opportunity to come and stay with me at the vacation house. Your sister chose to stay here, her friends are all here, she is still going to high school and she is going to be going to Salve Regina in Newport next fall. It makes sense for her to stay here."
What is he talking about, staying here instead of going to the vacation house? He's moving out? Had he just given me the option to get my own place or stay here in the house that I grew up in, with my friends close by? Wait, he just made a veiled suggestion that I might be able to move to Vermont with him? No, can't be, dad works here, has always worked here in Rhode Island, he doesn't have a job in Vermont.
"Robbie, you remember Mr. Trattorella, my boss, right?"
I turn my head to stared at him, my mouth is agape. Of course I knew Mr. Trattorella, he has been dad's boss my entire life, has even been like an Uncle to my Ashley and myself.
"Yeah Dad, I know Mr. Trattorella, does he know that you are quitting and moving to Vermont?"
Dad picks up his head, adjusts himself so that his body is facing toward me. He leans against the steering wheel with one arm, the other drapes along the back of the bench seat. I get a sick feeling in my stomach and for some odd reason I turn my gaze away from dad, looks at the front picture window. Mom stands in the window, tears run down her face. She raises her hand, places her palm against the glass. She nods her head, attempts to confirm and console. She backs away, the shear drapery cover moves to where my mom had stood, she fades into the background.
"Dad, what are you going to do about work?"
It is all I can think of at the moment, everything is running around in my head, jumbled and confused, my imagination runs rampant.
"Robbie, do you remember Lee? Lee Townsend? He worked with me as foreman for many years before he moved on to another business up north."
Trying to focus on the name, it's familiar, Lee Townsend? Yeah, he came to me. A bulk of a man Lee was. He had tried to make it in the NBA but was injured after just a short time in the pro's. He had some money saved up, came in to work with Mr Trattorella's building company only to become a partner in some venture that they had dreamed up, somewhere up north, New Hampshire or Maine if memory serves me correctly.
"Yep, wasn't he that big guy who was your foreman a few years back? Played pro B-ball or something like that but tore his ACL?"
"Good memory kiddo, that's him. Well, he and Mr. Trattorella went into partnership in a construction company in Keene, New Hampshire. I've been offered to be the foreman on Lee's, I mean Mr. Townsend's crew, what do you think about that?"
"WHOA! dad, does this mean that you are moving into the vacation house by yourself?"
"Robbie, that's up to you, you are a man now, the choice is yours and yours . You are more than welcome to come and live with me in Vermont when you are not in school. I have already secured a summer job for you with Mr. Townsend should you choose to come up north and live with me."
"What? there is just no question here dad, of course I want to live with you. Heck there is a rink just the next town over, I can even transfer my credits to Keene, go to school there!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down there kiddo, I said nothing about you having to change Universities. We don't want to turn your entire world upside down just because your mom and I have grown apart."
"Dad, you know that it was my second choice of schools to begin with. They have an organized hockey program and I can see if I still qualify for the partial scholarship that they had offered me the first go round."
"If that's your choice Robbie, your mom and I will help you make the arrangements to change schools, that is if that is what YOU want, not that you are doing this as some sort of loyalty to me. You know what I mean, your sister with your Mom and you with me. I don't want you to think that you have to make a choice between either of us. This has to be because YOU want to do this, we will support you 100 % no matter what."
"Dad, can we swing by the rink before we go to the vacation house, I wish to let them know that I am moving, that I am going to have to give them short notice about leaving. Don't worry, I'm going to thank them a ton for the opportunity they have given me but I think that this is going to be the right choice for me, well all of us."
"Sure thing kiddo,, you know something, I am so proud of you, how you are taking all of this. I don't know if I would have been as reasonable about all of this had I been in your place."
The gear of the truck engages, motion causes what feels like an out of body experience. Was this all really happening and if it is, am I making the right choice? Well, I guess I'll find out soon enough.
I run out of the ice rink, heads back to the passenger side of the pick-up, dad turns to me.
"Well, how did it go Robbie?"