The more I convince myself that I understand my life, the more I realize that it's a bunch of crap. I don't have a stinking clue as to what's going on. Hell, I don't know what's going on in the lives of my parents, sister or even my best friends.
Ever since I came back to Rhode Island for the Christmas Holiday, I've been buried up to my neck working at the ice rink. I've been reffing and making a boat load of money. The owners decided that I am more valuable to their program reffing and inspiring the younger players by working with them on power skating skills than as a step and fetch clean up boy gardening.
Hell the money's great, it's a blast working with the kids. They look up to me as if I am a god. Man it can go to my head, then some smart ass kid's mom comes over, gets all up in my face screaming, yelling at me about how her kid is not getting the same attention someone else's kid is. Bull shit lady, take another pill and sleep it off in your SUV.. OK, that's in my head but I would love to just once let it slip. Yeah, then that would be it for the goose that laid the golden egg, back to emptying trash cans and sweeping up the cigarette butts outside the entrance door.
Mom is busier than I thought she would be now that she is settled into her new position at the hospital. She has a boyfriend of sorts, of sorts because he's barely older than I am! We kinda get along but holy crap, this dude is only 31. What ever, if she's happy then that's all that matters. It's not like she's gonna get married to him. Bet she's just living the life she'd missed out on having been married with kids and all at such a young age.
I have no idea what my sister is doing. She's been away skiing with her friends and her boyfriend even before I arrived.
I've been more confused by the minute with all the crap that's happened over the past year. Dad and Lee have been having some pretty nasty arguments. It's not all that surprising, put two alpha dogs in the same cage, fights are bound to happen. I just hope no one gets hurt.
Two days before I left to come back to Mom's house, Tag and Melanie had a blow up. I mean not just one of those nit picking, nagging type of fights, I mean someone is going to get real hurt feelings kinda fight where there were no hold's barred. Things said that never should be said. They had not cooled down one bit before I had to leave, I'm really worried about both of them. What's going to happen if they need someone to be a go between and no one is there to help patch up? Mel is not answering my text messages, Tag just reply's with a one or two word text. I don't have a good feeling about this.
My head has been so effed up that had it not been for my being busy with work, I could easily begin to go Postal.
Ever since that night I messed up Tag's leg, lied to Dad, gotten comforted by Lee and was on the receiving end of the beating of my life, I just am so damned confused.
I know, well at least I think I know that I was uber embarrassed by what I did but what was even worse is that I knew Tag and Lee were both in the house when it all went down. I'm getting all this crap mixed up in my head. I keep getting sexually excited every time I think about the ass whipping I got that night but at the same time I get this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, my head flips, worrying about who might have heard what was going on and if the next morning, they knew by the look on my face that I had actually loved being belt spanked. Like words had appeared on my forehead, blushing bright red, screaming out loud, I get off on this shit! I'm Dad's little slut!
If this is what happened, neither Lee nor Tag have let on. Lee has been nothing more than a real comfort about that night, he's never brought it up again, not once.
Tag? Well, Tag's Tag. Boy sure is handsome but sometimes I think he's taken a few to many pucks to the head, if you know what I mean. He's kinda like a puppy with huge feet, tongue hanging out the side of it's mouth, follows you where ever you go just because everywhere with you is an adventure, just a whole heck of a lot of fun. There really is no tomorrow in his head, it's all about right now, right here. That's cool, wish I could be more like that, life sure would be a whole lot easier.
I'm getting a little anxious about packing up and making the drive back home to the Vermont house. I feel badly about leaving mom, she cries the entire time I'm rounding my stuff up. Not out loud, I can see the tears well up in her eyes, a little quiver of her chin. I finally came to her, hugged her long and hard, nuzzled my cheek against the side of her head it seems like forever, a gentle push away, a turn of her head to hide her true feelings. Walking side by side to the front door, she bear hugs me and plants a long kiss on my ear.
"Love you."
"Love you too mom."
The engine roars to life, tires kick up dirt and gravel from the driveway, catches hold of the asphalt roadway.
I'm nearing the Vermont rest stop. Old rituals still in place, coffee thermos emptied, rinsed and filled with cool fresh water. Zipper pulled down, a long stream of piss, sigh of relief, shakes the last drops, zips up, washes hands and off toward the home stretch.
The throbbing in my pants is becoming so uncomfortable that I pull the button loose at the top of my jeans, sliding down my thick thighs, cool air welcomes the flame hot flesh as it flips upward, smacks my belly button. A quick tug, adjustment releases my balls from between my thighs, they too are so much more comfortable in their new surroundings.
Tingling, twitching, my ass muscles clench, I grasp hold of the rigid member in my lap. Fingers slowly encircle it's girth, slide ever so slowly up and down. Breath comes in heavy, labored heaves. Images of my own ass, upturned, a large coarse hand smacking white flesh
Miles pass, my dick nearly beaten to a pulp, building pressure, excitement, head pulled back, eyes open, wide as possible, fighting to keep the roadway in focus. Gushing streams of hot liquid shooting, splatting under my chin, wetness, long strings decorating the grey fabric of my under-armor shirt. Exhaustion, exhaling, sensitive, very sensitive, just hold it tight, still, it'll stop soon.
God damn it, no napkins! Reaches over to the passenger seat, grabs the paper bag my fruit and juice box are in. Contents dumped on the seat, crumples of paper, roughness, hard, brutal, not the way I had hoped this one would end. At least it's almost cleaned up. Crumpling the bag, stuffs it under the drivers seat, out of sight, hides the evidence, nasty.
Bends in the road, trees that have become familiar landmarks. A turn of the wheel, gravel kicks up under the wells of the truck's bed. Grabs my luggage, garbage that took the ride back to the vacation house with me, my feet sprint toward the garage door. I lift the heavy metal folding door, enter the darkened garage, "CLICK" fluorescent light floods the partially finished structure.
Opens the kitchen door, steps in, pause.
"Anybody home? Dad? Lee? The prodigal son has returned!"
Silence.