This is an out-and-out bit of fun; a further extension of my usual lighthearted offerings; as much fun to write as I hope it will be for you to read.
The story is a fantasy and something of a comedy and I expect you to treat it as such.
Hopefully the sex itself will be adequately energetic and if I've done my work properly, it'll be depicted with enough detail to make it as enjoyable for you, my readers, as it was for the players.
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Finally, after several years of somewhat acrimonious disagreements, my wife; now my ex-wife and I had reached a settlement and the divorce had been completed - I was now a free man again, at last. Not every marriage is perfect and ours was no exception, although I don't think that either of us was really to blame; we were just not suited to living together. In the end, all I was pleased about was that we'd kept clear of having children and that the financial settlement was readily agreed without either of us making serious demands.
And so, after all the snarling and sniping I was able to head down to my favourite pub for a peaceful evening with the locals - a pleasure that had often been denied me.
There was a bunch of guys whom I already knew around the bar and after the usual warm pleasantries we settled down to drink and chatter and the subject of 'getting away from it all' came up.
My friend Bert who lives only a few doors away spoke up and caught my attention.
"There's a great place I know of," he said, "Brilliant place actually; it's kind of a huge encampment - like a whole village really. It looks like a village, you know, houses, a shop, the post office, the village green and the pub of course - but its not, because behind the façade are all the accommodation units and the recreation centre itself."
"Sounds interesting," someone said, "But what makes it so special then?"
"No children," said Bert, "Adults only, and for good reason!"
A ripple of chuckles spread around as we all wondered what he might reveal.
"The thing is...that it's not only for adults only, it's for singles only," Bert continued, causing us all to go "ahhhhh."
"Well, what I mean is that when you're there, you're single - or you're considered to be, so you can all do what you like with who you like...so long as they're willing of course!" he concluded, "You actually sign away your marriage rights before you go there."
"Wow! That sounds like a really hot place," one of the guys said; a guy who I knew had something like Genghis Khan for a wife, "Wouldn't mind a week or two in a place like that."
"Damn well is hot! And speaking of hot," said Bert, wiping a moustache of beer foam from his lip, "The best time to go is when the weather's hot; go in July because that's when they have what they call their 'Village Fete.'"
"A fete's usually just for one day," I said, but Bert shook his head.
"Well they hold it for a whole month," he said, "Gives everyone a chance to have a damn good time."
He laughed before immersing himself in his beer again while I got thinking.
After the divorce and now that I was free, not only had I been planning a break but such a place would do me nicely by all impressions and as it was now the end of March, perhaps it would be a good time to make a booking.
"Hey Bert, let me have some details if you could; wouldn't mind a break there if it's as good as you say."
Bert smiled at me and winked wickedly.
"Sure thing Chris. Get me another pint and I'll write it all down for you."
I patted him sociably on the back before I took his empty glass to the bar, not realising at all what I was letting myself in for!
Soon Bert had a bit of paper filled with the address, some names and the phone number which he handed to me almost reverently, seemingly reluctant to let go of the scrap of paper.
"Look after that. It'll be the best break you'll ever have!"
"Eh? How do you know?"
"Look," he said, taking me aside from the others in the bar, "You're young, you're good looking, you're single now; you'll love it. Drop your inhibitions once you get there - just let things happen!"
"Why, what is it? What d'you mean, drop everything - is it some kind of nudist camp?" I asked warily but Bert shook his head.
"No, no way, although I have seen plenty of naked bodies there!"
"Really?" I said, now definitely interested, "Where do you find them?"
"Wherever!" said Bert mysteriously, "You'll have to find them for yourself!"
"Oh Bert, that's not fair!" I said in mock horror, "Tell me...!"
"I'll ask you something else instead," said Bert as he drained half of his latest pint, "What's your sexual orientation - come on, be brave - tell me!"
Bert had a big enigmatic smile on his face; how the hell had he been able to tell that I wasn't entirely 'butch'?
"Errrmmmmm. Well you know I was married; I'm not gay," I said clearly indicating that I was a 'normal' man and Bert nodded, tapping his nose and smiling broadly.
"Ahhhh - but was that a cover story by any chance? Have you never thought of playing for the other side! Which way do you really lean then?"
"Uhhh - ummm - errrr, yeah well..." I blundered around, "Yeahhh, errrr, guess I'm errrr, open to ideas, sexually."
"Good. Well, make sure you're open to anything when you go there! Do as the Romans do, let it all hang out!"
