My name is Charles, I am now a forty something and still don't know what I am, straight, gay, bisexual or what. This is the story of my wilderness years. It all started when I was at university, as a mature student, where I was studying mechanical engineering.
I had just started university in Manchester which my company sponsored me for. This was the end of my Fresher's Week; and as a mature student I was supposed to set an example for younger students to follow.
I had already made some new friends earlier in the week, in particular, Brian from Barrow in Furness, he worked at the shipyard there as a test engineer in their SMITE facility. Also sponsored by his company; he had rooms in the Halls of Residence; as I was to live with my Gran in Manchester, until I found another place, I would travelled in and out each day.
This was Friday night, Fresher's party night; we would start our studies on Monday. But tonight we would party; which we all did and drank copious quantities of alcohol. As only students can do. As the night wore on I missed my last bus home. Brian said no worries I can sleep on his floor; as students do.
Next morning I woke up lying alongside someone in a bed, spooning with them, naked; as they were too. I didn't know where I was, who I was with or why; clearly the alcohol had erased my memory. It was a very stimulating position to be in; I started to feel aroused. Whoever I was with stirred, they obviously felt it given where it was. They turned over to face me; I was amazed who it was and speechless.
It was Brian, he was equally speechless; we looked at each other in amazement and he said did we. All I could say was; I don't know; did we; he replied I can't remember a thing after we left the student bar. The bed being a single meant we were now facing each other; touching; I was starting to get re-aroused as I think he was. I stepped out of the bed backwards; without falling.
Brian got out too; we were both standing there naked looking at each other; he was not bad looking, had tan lines from the summer beach parties on Walney Island. We didn't know what to say or do; Brian broke the inaction when he said I am going for a shower. As he disappeared I checked the bed for indications of what happen last night. Even with my NCIS powers of deduction I could not find anything.
Brian came out of the shower, dried himself off, handed me the towel and said I only have one. He started to look at the bed discreetly for signs; he found nothing either. My first time maybe and I don't know if it happened, although perturbed about not knowing. My overall feeling about what could have happened was one of relaxed satisfaction. We never did find out.
That was only the start of thing; my mother found out; don't know how; but told my Gran.
Instead of finding me a flat or room to rent, Gran proposed I move in with her with some rules, which weren't to broken, she was extremely strong willed. I couldn't have any male visitors to stay, she accepted I did what I did, but for family and friends it would be too much to take in; women however were very welcome to visit and maybe stay. I thought she was very fair to offer this solution, as I couldn't really afford to rent anywhere but it left me in a quandary regarding my gay feelings.
Time passed without any major upsets, Brian and I did have feelings for one another. Although we did supress them, on study nights at his rooms we did indulge; nothing serious; but we both did enjoy it. We were both open to each other about what our families would think if we pursued a gay relationship. Brian was in a similar position as me.
With the passage of time, we completed our degrees, then I met a girl; we got on ok; but pressure from both our families after a year we got married. Initially things were good, I was back working with my employer and had a reasonable salary; and Brian was back in Barrow; married too. However it didn't last, she met someone else and moved in with them; her Bridesmaid at our wedding; she was gay too. I didn't see that coming; although she said she had suspicions about me.
After my short lived and disastrous marriage, I was in quite a low way and pretty broke a common trait with newly divorced men. I felt I had to help Helen and her new partner out financially; still had some feelings for her and understood what she went through. I moved in with my parents until I was financially sorted; we both endured it out of necessity. My mother still held my gay affair against me, topped off with Helen being gay too and running off with her Bridesmaid. My Dad and Aunt Beth didn't help either.
My dear old Gran took up the fight to find me somewhere suitable to live, again, and suggested I have a holiday to settle myself which she lent me the money for. Although she knew of my other life; didn't judge me for it. I must have been her favourite because I inherited her house later.
The holiday was a two centre affair, a week in Athens followed by two weeks on Kos both at small family run hotels. The Kos hotel overlooking the beach; scheduled for late September when prices were lowest. Before I left, I vowed to myself to stay celibate for the whole trip to give myself time to adjust to my new life; whatever way it may go.
Athens was beautiful and I did all the tourist things, sightseeing etc. loved the Pantheon; thoroughly enjoying it too. Dressed down in shorts and tight swimwear for the weather; I rebuffed advances from 3 women and 2 men during that week and felt proud of my resolution to stay unattached.
The week went much too quickly and I found myself on a small plane heading for Kos, the weather was still very warm compared to Manchester in September. As it was now low season there were only a few on the flight, mainly English and German retirees going to take advantage of the cheap cost of living and escape the cold Northern winter. And a few Greek men; one seemed to catch my attention and he mines; don't know why but we did.
I shared a minibus with a lovely old English couple, Alan and May, who went there every year, to escape the cold weather, Alan had arthritis, and he told me I would like George Kostakidis; the owner, and his son Georgio who was sitting at the front of the plane. Possibly it was Giorgio whose eye I had caught and me his. We were deposited at the front door and went into the small reception area to be greeted by George. Who stood beaming a lovely mischievous smile from behind his desk.