This Can’t Be Happening

My story continues. Once again, thanks to everyone who has read, commented, followed or added as a favourite. This chapter is quite long and doesn't contain a lot of sex I'm afraid. It's more about background and build up. There are also references to heterosexual themes. All names and locations have been altered to maintain anonymity.

Monday started out as any other day. I managed a few chores and started to my never endings job search. Around 10am the phone rang and I realised it was coach when I answered. He was just checking that I was ok saying he felt bad that he couldn't be more sociable the previous day. I told him I understood. "That's great," he told me. "I wondered if you were free on Friday morning Dave. I could pick you up around 9am if that's any good?"

I was overjoyed and I immediately told him that it would be great. He didn't want to raise suspicions at swimming, so told me he would be pretty much how he'd been on Sunday, but I shouldn't think it was anything other than trying to keep our secret. I repeated that I understood why and he ended by saying he was looking forward to Friday.

My cock was hard as I put the phone down. I started to think about what we would do. With everything that had happened with Phillip and Mr Ali, it reminded me how gentle coach could be. I started to fantasise. God, it felt like I was constantly thinking about sex. I still couldn't believe what had been happening to me. At times it felt like a dream.

I began to question my sexuality. Was I gay? The only time I'd thought about a woman over the last few weeks was when I'd noticed someone with a large arse or recalled the photos of Tracey. Most of my masturbating had been generated by thoughts of Phillip, coach or Lewis. I'd tried hard not to think too much about Lewis though. Somehow it felt wrong, but now he'd seen me naked and erect, I was struggling not to think about him. Mr Ali had now been added to the mix.

There were couple of older ladies with very large bottoms that came into the shop regularly. I'd had a few fantasies about them, so maybe I wasn't gay. Perhaps it was just the fact that the only real sex I'd experienced recently was with men. I didn't seem to have time to meet anyone else at the moment. Or maybe I just wasn't trying hard enough.

The one thing I knew about Phillip, was that sex was almost guaranteed and I could talk to him about anything. I liked that. I liked that very much. Coach was a different matter altogether. I knew there might be complications with him.

I started to think about Mr Ali. How did Phillip know him, other than being one of his suppliers? The few times I'd seen them in the shop, there had never been any signs of anything other than a business relationship. Their friendship was obviously much more than professional. I had a lot of questions and I was sure Phillip would answer them if I asked.

It wasn't good to have all this time on my hands. My nightly masturbation routine now crept into the daytime too. I found myself taking risks too. The first one was being naked when the postman came, hoping he might glance through the living room window as he walked by. I wasn't sure if he would, but the law of averages meant he probably would at some point. It was a real thrill when I saw him coming. I never considered the consequences if he did see me. The buzz was too much to resist.

When Wednesday came I shaved myself ready for swimming club. I kept thinking about how I could work a way to be seen by Lewis again. I felt pretty sure coach would go out of his way to make sure nobody had any clue about us. The thing was, I desperately needed to feel exposed and despite what he'd said, the club was one of the only places I knew of that I could be "accidentally" seen. I knew it was wrong. I could be kicked out if it went wrong, but it didn't stop me thinking about it.

When I got undressed at training, I was disappointed that the others barely looked at me. The novelty of being shaved seemed to have worn off. When we finished and showered, try as I might, I couldn't help myself looking at coach. I was careful to make sure nobody saw, but the thought of seeing him on Friday was too much. I felt the stirring of an erection, so I turned my back so nobody saw.

I stayed longer in the shower again. I had to get myself under control. Coach would be seriously pissed off if something stupid happened. I couldn't let him down. I waited until everyone had left, making sure by checking. My erection was solid. I had the idea that if I masturbated it would help me go down. That way if anyone walked in while I was getting dressed, there would be no accidental displays. Whilst I had fantasised about Lewis, in reality, I was more concerned about how coach would react.

So I stupidly thought that masturbating was the answer. It wouldn't take long anyway. I checked once more and started. I didn't hear anyone come in. I had my eyes closed as I frantically stroked my cock. My orgasm was close. I was past the point of no return. "Jesus Dave!" I opened my eyes to see Lewis standing at the shower entrance, but it was too late. My cum shot out across the floor.

He stood there until I finished. I can't begin to describe the mixture of emotions that washed over me and instead of my erection fading, it stayed hard. The embarrassment was overwhelming as my mind tried to compute the fact that my best friend had just watched me ejaculate.

I stood there frozen, my erection still pulsing, as he told me to meet him in the swimming pool cafe when I'd dressed.

I put my clothes on after drying myself. My whole world was collapsing. I had no idea what he would say and I couldn't think of any excuse for what he'd just seen. My heart was beating so hard as I walked towards the cafe. My mouth was dry and I was thankful he had a coffee waiting for me. I sat down and took a sip.

"Dave," he started. He looked genuinely concerned. "What the fuck is going on with you mate?" I couldn't answer him. "Seriously. What if coach had walked in and seen that?" he asked. I still couldn't answer. Shame filled my whole being at that moment.

"That's twice now," he told me. "If coach had caught you today, he'd probably kick you out of the club. If you need to, you know you can talk to me don't you? You know I wouldn't say anything."

I was so mortified. I told him I trusted him but couldn't talk to him there, so we headed back to my house. To give him his due, he didn't try to push me for anything as we walked, but we didn't talk very much. When we got to mine, we headed up to my bedroom and I put some music on. The walk home had given me a chance to try and work out an explanation. I wasn't going to come clean about Phillip or coach. That would never happen.

I actually did have tears in my eyes as I told him. I explained I'd recently discovered I enjoyed being naked in front of people, especially if they were clothed. Even more so if I was erect. I told him I couldn't explain it, but the need to do it seemed to be getting stronger day by day. I apologised for what had happened, because it wasn't something I'd expected him to see. The first thing he asked was if I was gay, saying he could understand if it was in front of a woman.

I told him it didn't matter to me, male or female, because it wasn't about being turned on by them. "I don't understand," he said. So I explained that it was more about how it made me feel. I followed that by saying that it was the embarrassment of being seen erect that turned me on. "So you like it when someone sees you naked and hard even if it's a bloke?" he asked. I nodded my head. It wasn't a lie really, but I wasn't telling him the whole truth. I even told him that in some ways it was more of a turn on if it was in front of a guy, because it was more embarrassing.

I could see he was trying to unravel what I'd said. "So did you plan for me to see you on Sunday and tonight?" he asked. I told him I hadn't planned it, that it was purely a coincidence. "Let me get this right," he continued. "You get turned on when someone sees you. If it's a bloke, it turns you on more because it's more embarrassing." I nodded my head and told him that was correct, although it was a bit more complicated than that. "Do you have a wank afterwards, you know, after someone has seen you?" he questioned. I blushed hard and told him I did.

"So you had a wank on Sunday then?" he pushed. I realised I'd started something that I couldn't stop. I knew the questions would keep coming until he felt satisfied. So I nodded my head, but added that it wasn't about him. Just the fact that he'd seen me hard. I could see in his expression that he was struggling to understand. "Will you have a wank tonight then?" he asked. I nodded my head again.

He told me he didn't really understand it and said he couldn't make up his mind if he was upset about me masturbating about him or not. I tried to explain again that it wasn't actually about him. That it might have been anyone that had seen me and I'd still do the same thing. It was the feeling it caused, not the person. That was a little bit of a lie, but not that much. In the main I was being truthful. He told me he'd have to think about what I'd said, but I needed to be careful about where I did it. I agreed and apologised again. I hoped that would be all he asked.

"So what happened then?" he continued to ask, ending my hopes. "The first time." I hadn't thought about that. I hadn't anticipated him asking that question, so told told him I'd prefer not to tell him. That I was too embarrassed to say. I couldn't think properly.

He laughed "Embarrassed?" he said with a tone of sarcasm. "I've seen you with a boner twice and tonight I watched you toss your fucking spunk off," he continued. "Then you tell me you get off when people see you naked with a hard on. You say you're not gay, but it turns you on more when it's a bloke who sees you," he said. "And all of a sudden you're too embarrassed to tell me how it started. You do realise how stupid that sounds don't you?" he asked.

God, the shame I was feeling was too much. I started to wish I'd hadn't told him, but I had an erection. His tone of voice and the words he'd used. They had driven home the truth of what he'd seen and what I'd just admitted to him. "So," he pushed me further. "How did it start?"

I knew I'd have to lie. I just didn't know what to say. Whatever it was, it had to be believable and couldn't involve Phillip or coach. The only thing I could come up with was a story involving swimming. So I told him a few months previously I'd gone to the pool for an early morning swim. There were only 3 or 4 people there. When I went to get changed an older guy had followed me in and started chatting as we stripped off. I couldn't explain it, but the way he'd looked at me as we talked had made me feel embarrassed and I'd suddenly got an erection. That had made me even more embarrassed, which in turn, made me even harder.

"So what happened?" Lewis asked. "Did he say anything or do anything?" I told him nothing had happened, but he had stared at my erection while he chatted and got dressed. Then I told him I had masturbated when I got home, saying it had been like a rush for me. I realised it had excited me, the way the man had just openly stared while we chatted had really turned me on.

I thought I was being clever by telling Lewis I'd even gone back a few more times on the same day at the same time. The older man had always been there and had always followed me into the changing area and the same thing had happened.

I thought it would make the lie more believable for some reason. "And nothing happened?" Lewis asked. I shook my head, but but told him each time it had turned me on more. Lewis then asked me if I still did it. I told him I'd stopped after a while, because I'd been scared that I was enjoying it too much.

"You said you liked it when women saw you too," he continued. "When did you first do it in front of a woman?" I'd thought my clever lie would have been enough, but I now knew it wasn't. Now I had to think up yet another lie. I couldn't think fast enough. I stumbled my words. "You haven't done it in front of a woman have you," he said. It was a statement. My red face betrayed me, so I just shook my head. "So it's only happened in front of blokes then," he said. Again it was statement and again my face gave me away.

"But you're not gay," he said. "It just turns you on to be naked and hard in front of a bloke," he continued "So I suppose you're going to tell me that tonight was the first time you've spunked off in front of a guy?"

My shame was written all over my face. At that moment I wished I could have turned back time and started all over. Why was I so fucking bad at lying? I should have learned my lesson from what happened with coach. I should have just told Lewis I didn't want to talk about it. All I could say was that it hadn't happened in front of a woman yet, but thought I would feel the same way. That I'd get the same turn on.

"So how many?" he asked. I didn't understand. "How many blokes have you showed your cock to?" he clarified. I decided not to lie, but had to include the fictitious older man. So I told him it was 5, him being the latest one. "Jesus Dave," he said with some shock. "How many have seen you spunk off?" he asked. I couldn't help myself. This should have been too embarrassing, but I was so hard. I was determined not to lie anymore. Not until I had to anyway. I told him it was 4.

"Fuck me," he said. "So the only bloke you've shown off to that hasn't seen you spunk, is the first one?" I could only nod my head. I was seriously turned on. I knew I shouldn't have been. "Do I know any of these guys?" he probed. I shook my head, hoping he wouldn't press me. "So that's me and 3 others you've shot your load in front of," he stated. I tried to put a brave face on things when I told him he was correct.

"Listen Dave," he said earnestly. "I know you've said you're not gay, but it sounds like you are to me. You're my best mate. I don't give a fuck if you are or not." I tried to reiterate I wasn't gay but he interrupted me. "Whatever Dave. It dont care either way, but I'm worried you're putting yourself in danger," he explained. "All these guys. They could be fucking nutters or something." He surprised me with that. I knew he could be caring when he wanted to be, despite his usual bullish character, but it surprised me he was being so understanding.

I explained that I'd always been careful and he didn't need to worry. "You might think you're being careful, but you don't know these blokes," he told me. "If what you say is true and you think you need to do it, you'd be better off finding someone you can trust. The last thing I'd want is to find out you've been arrested or worse, that some twat has put you in hospital." The ramifications of what he'd just said didn't sink in immediately. All I could think of was that at least he didn't know the men were Phillip and coach, or what I'd already done. That and the erection that was now becoming very uncomfortable.

"Think about it mate," he continued. "You're actually getting naked and tossing off in front of strangers Dave. I'm not trying to judge you, but one day one of these guys might take offence and get violent or something." I told him I'd always been careful and it wouldn't change. That the men had made it clear it was what they wanted to see.

He asked me if I'd thought about talking to someone. I asked him who he thought I knew who would understand and that anyway, I was talking to him. "Fair enough," he said. Then with a look as if he'd hit on an answer. "You could try talking to Phillip. He's gay and he's always been a decent guy to work for," he continued. "He's always listened to me when I thought I had a problem." Jeez, if he only knew. I said I didn't think it was a good idea. I didn't want Phillip to know. He left it at that. He didn't try to force the issue.

It was getting quite late so he said he'd get home. "Think about what I've said Dave. Find someone you can trust and be careful," he said before he left.

As soon as he'd gone, I stripped off and lay on my bed. My masturbation routine now always began with my nipples. I'd stroke, tweak and pinch them as I thought things through.

I went over what had happened in the shower. Still not quite believing that Lewis had watched me ejaculate. I felt guilty in some respects but I couldn't deny how turned on I was. I tried to imagine being in his shoes watching his best mate shooting his cum. I wondered what he had thought, even daring to hope it had turned him on. Probably not, but I could still fantasise. In many ways it was a huge kick now that he knew. Then it dawned on me what he'd said about finding someone I could trust and that set my mind on the fantasy that it could be him. I masturbated 2 times before falling to sleep.

The next day I had misgivings about telling Lewis. I was worried how it would affect our friendship. The cold light of day had made me realise what he'd seen and what I'd admitted to doing. It was too late now anyway. At least he didn't know the whole story.

When I arrived at work Lewis was there. He'd waited for me, just to reassure me that everything was fine with us, but he still thought it might be worth talking to Phillip. I was so relieved to know he was still good with me and thankful he'd stayed on to reassure me. I told him I still didn't think it was a good idea. "I've thought about it mate," he told me. "I don't really understand why you like doing it, but I'm pretty sure Phillip might. Just think about it." So to get him off my back, I said I would. He left it at that.

Phillip was, as ever, his usual self. Seeing him reminded me about Sunday and that gave me an erection. At least it took my mind off Lewis.

One of the women who I had fantasised over came into the shop that evening. I watched her chatting to Phillip, then watched her large buttocks wobbling beneath her loose fitting skirt as she wondered around with her shopping basket. I guess you would describe her as a large lady. The term being BBW these days, although back then I hadn't heard of it. She was mature, in her 50's or maybe even her 60's. She had extremely large breasts. I found it erotic the way they hung over her belly. The top she was wearing should have been loose but the sheer size of her breasts filled it out. I couldn't see the shape of her bottom but I could definitely see how large it was and could see it moving around as she walked.

She chatted to me while I served her at the till. She was always friendly, possibly a little flirty too. I wasn't sure. She had a pretty face and a nice smile. I remember my embarrassment when she said "My eyes are up here David," I hadn't realised I was looking so hard. When I looked up she had a big on her face, then told me I was a naughty young man. I was so shocked, but I was sure she winked at me before turning away to leave.

The thought of lifting her skirt up or showing me her huge breasts flooded my mind for a few moments. God, it was like I was permanently on heat.

Just as we closed Phillip asked me if I wanted to chat. I did. I had so many questions but wasn't sure I'd remember them all. So much was happening in my life.

When we got upstairs he gave me a beer and told me we'd just talk. "You probably have some questions," he said knowingly. He always knew. So I asked him about Mr Ali.

He explained he'd known him for years, as long as he'd owned the shop. They had become friends in that time and had shared some times together sexually. "He's like you David," he told me. "Bisexual. He's also pretty kinky." He went on to tell me that he was very much into sex and they'd occasionally masturbated together and given each other oral sex. I didn't know Phillip liked sucking. He'd never done that with me, so it was a surprise. One thing led to another and before long he became one of the guys who had been involved in his fetish with Tracey.