Janet had been gone for about ten minutes when I went on line. Tuesday was her bridge night with her old girl friends. I expected her to be out for perhaps a couple of hours based on experience.
"Have a good time," I told her as she walked out the door.
I guess hidden desires were surfacing. I had no idea when I first married her five years earlier that gay porn would become my favorite web site. The photos and videos of naked men could hold my attention like nothing else could. Five years earlier than this night I would not have dreamed that I might be homosexual.
Playing sports had always been something I did. Organized sports started in high school, progressed to pick up games during college summer vacations then continued in organized leagues after college.
Lately I had been seeking a softball league in which I could enroll myself. I found a gay team in the Barbary Coast league and enrolled.
Janet was used to me playing sports. I was playing softball at the time I met her. Six years into our marriage when I was enrolling in a league she assumed that the men were straight. She knew nothing of the existence of gay sports leagues. She held the allusion that gay men were effeminate hair dressers and designers of women's clothing.
Going to the address listed on the net I registered myself to play in the gay league. Anyway, a successful tryout won me a spot on a team called the Wildcats.
*
Brandon and l had been chatting during league softball games for the past month. Gradually I came to know things about him. There was a big open field behind his childhood home where he and his friends from early teens had played sports. I had told him similar stories. We had both been jocks during high school. He had stories about football while I played baseball. He had come from a family that accepted his homosexuality when he came out at age fifteen.
Brandon is a gorgeous boy. He stood five foot ten with fit body; not body builder's muscle but not a bean pole either. His ash blond hair framed his face perfectly.
The game had just ended. As the shadows lengthened across the field players walked in small groups toward parked cars. There were a lot of friendships. There were couples. I looked over to see Alex and Larry holding hands as they walked.
Our team had won another game. The final score was 6 to 5. I had knocked in two runs and scored one during our 4th inning rally that brought us from behind.
I trotted a couple of steps to catch up with him. The desire to have him by now had become overpowering. He had lately been the object of fantasy. Only the sense that he might be seeing some one kept me at bay but I wanted him.
Except for my strong attraction to men like metal to a magnet my marriage was not actually failing For a long time I had been wrestling with the problem.
When I had enrolled in the local softball league sex was a subtext. I could have just joined a "normal" straight team were I not seeking a boyfriend. I was not in any particular hurry to get laid. For that I could have gone to a bar. I was never one for the bar scene.
"Brandon, good game," I said coming up on his right.
"Yeah it was. You played a great game. That was a nice hit that dropped in there."
"Brandon I was wondering if you wanted to go out some where."
He looked at me. A wide smile came to his full lips.
"I guess that's a yes."
"You have a date. Where would you like to go?"
"I want to check out the art museum."
I had already told him about growing up drawing pictures, and about having my works as a high school boy on display in the main lobby.
"Do you still draw?"
"Of course," I said, "lately a lot on the computer."
Our date was still in the future when we wound up in the privacy of his apartment that evening. We started to caress one another from our shoulders down to our thighs. Our lips met and parted then met again. This time the kiss lingered for several long seconds becoming open mouth.
